I completely understand how an addict falls off the wagon. It’s incredibly easy to do.
I haven’t had a Diet Coke in approx. four months and today, I was grabbing a quick snack on the way to a meeting and thought to myself, “Why not have a Diet Coke? It’s been so long, you can have it. After all, you’ve shown you can go without. What would one do?”
Sure, Christina. That’s what a junkie tells themself.
Though this little narrative in my head was doing its best to convince me just one wouldn’t do anything, I repeatedly told it to shut the f*ck up!
And I didn’t drink any.
The cravings may come and go much less than they have in the past but they’re still there and no matter how much I want to convince myself otherwise, I know I am an addict and “just one” will lead to another, and another and before you know it, I’m back on a 2-Liter a day.
Will it ever get easier?
I now get why meetings become a part of an addict’s daily life. It’s way too easy to deny one has a problem after they’ve quit for a while. The inner demons will try to negotiate with the inner angels and convince them just one won’t do anything.
Well, Devil, I didn’t dance with you today and I’m not gonna, so STEP THE F’ OFF.
116 days and counting..
(photo via Pexels.com)