I admit it. I had a Diet Coke.
But please! Allow me a story before you make judgement…
My husband and I went on a little getaway this past weekend after we both had some big deadlines to hit for our careers. He’s finishing producing/mixing an EP album and I just finished Part 2 of the book I’m writing, which was the big one of it!
Anyway, we went south east to lounge in natural hot springs (nature’s jacuzzi) in the middle of Palm Desert, CA. It was awesome. We got to know each other even better than we do while getting out with nature and just breathing.
Something I like to do on vacay is have a Diet Coke.
I know, I know. It’s not ideal but I like to splurge while vacaying and well, DC is part of that so….
I allowed myself a few. I have not, however, had one since we’ve been back (Sat) and I’m okay without any.
I was thinking. Can I be a limited DC drinker?
Now, I get it. I sound like an alcoholic asking if they can have the occasional drink…
But here’s the thing. What if I can? Is it so bad to have a few DC’s throughout the YEAR?
I quit the daily disgusting habit but a handful throughout the year…. well….
I know it will come down to if this opened the gateway for me to DC destruction. I do not plan to allow it but I will write again about this in a month to either assure you I haven’t touched Diet Coke or to admit I was woefully wrong.
I completely understand how an addict falls off the wagon. It’s incredibly easy to do.
I haven’t had a Diet Coke in approx. four months and today, I was grabbing a quick snack on the way to a meeting and thought to myself, “Why not have a Diet Coke? It’s been so long, you can have it. After all, you’ve shown you can go without. What would one do?”
Sure, Christina. That’s what a junkie tells themself.
Though this little narrative in my head was doing its best to convince me just one wouldn’t do anything, I repeatedly told it to shut the f*ck up!
And I didn’t drink any.
The cravings may come and go much less than they have in the past but they’re still there and no matter how much I want to convince myself otherwise, I know I am an addict and “just one” will lead to another, and another and before you know it, I’m back on a 2-Liter a day.
Will it ever get easier?
I now get why meetings become a part of an addict’s daily life. It’s way too easy to deny one has a problem after they’ve quit for a while. The inner demons will try to negotiate with the inner angels and convince them just one won’t do anything.
Well, Devil, I didn’t dance with you today and I’m not gonna, so STEP THE F’ OFF.
116 days and counting..
(photo via Pexels.com)
This past weekend, I had a Dr. Pepper. Last week I had a Squirt. I think since I’ve quit Diet Coke, I may have had an additional Squirt and a Root Beer and perhaps another soda here or there I’m forgetting. This has been over the course of the past seven weeks, since I’ve had my last sip of Diet Coke.
The reason I bring this up is because this weekend, when I was drinking the aforementioned Dr. Pepper, my husband mentioned that he thought I shouldn’t have it since I was quitting Diet Coke and that I wasn’t as completely void of it as I’d been saying.
He made me pause alright. And think. Was there any validity to what he was saying? I wondered.
See, for me, I’ve never had a problem with soda per se. My addiction exclusively lies in Diet Coke. It is that drink specifically that I not only crave but enjoy every minute of each sip. Once I have a Dr. Pepper, I’m good for months. I have no desire to have another and another and then another.
I thought about this, though. Do I want to be completely soda free?
I don’t think its that important to me to be. Since I could maybe have a handful of sodas during a whole year, that would never even last me a weekend if it was Diet Coke.
So, no, honey, I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with having a random soda every now then. It just can’t be Diet Coke. I’ve proven to myself I’m not capable of limiting it. Sprite, though? Eh, maybe on an airplane but for my everyday thirst needs, I’ll stick to sparkling water with lemon.
54 days and counting….