I completely understand how an addict falls off the wagon. It’s incredibly easy to do.
I haven’t had a Diet Coke in approx. four months and today, I was grabbing a quick snack on the way to a meeting and thought to myself, “Why not have a Diet Coke? It’s been so long, you can have it. After all, you’ve shown you can go without. What would one do?”
Sure, Christina. That’s what a junkie tells themself.
Though this little narrative in my head was doing its best to convince me just one wouldn’t do anything, I repeatedly told it to shut the f*ck up!
And I didn’t drink any.
The cravings may come and go much less than they have in the past but they’re still there and no matter how much I want to convince myself otherwise, I know I am an addict and “just one” will lead to another, and another and before you know it, I’m back on a 2-Liter a day.
Will it ever get easier?
I now get why meetings become a part of an addict’s daily life. It’s way too easy to deny one has a problem after they’ve quit for a while. The inner demons will try to negotiate with the inner angels and convince them just one won’t do anything.
Well, Devil, I didn’t dance with you today and I’m not gonna, so STEP THE F’ OFF.
116 days and counting..
(photo via Pexels.com)
This is the ninth entry I’ve written about quitting Diet Coke. For those keeping count, as I am, it has been 83 days since my last one.
I wish I could say the hard part is over but that isn’t 100% true.
The hardest part seems over but it’s still a struggle.
Especially recently. The holidays were a bit hard. Diet Coke was around me more than usual (or maybe I was just noticing it more,) regardless, it was in my face. Especially at the movie theater. Does Coke dominate the movie theater soda situation?? It certainly seems so…
I even bought some of the regular Coke for my nephews to have at Christmas Eve dinner and as I was pulling it off the shelf, my eyes caught sight of Diet Coke and even going on three months without any, I found myself wondering if maybe… I could just have a 20 ounce for good behavior… After all, it is the holidays.
Damn it! No!
I fought the urge and had a serious talk with my inner demons. In the end, the good side prevailed. And I chalked it up to another victory against the dark stuff.
Though I will write if something changes, I think this topic may not get as much attention in the future. Not because it’s over but because I feel grounded and unless I flounder, I’ll leave you knowing I’m going strong.
I do, however, have another blog series coming….
What do you think will happen if I buy a $2 Lottery Scratcher every week for all 52 weeks of 2018?
Well, stay tuned and find out right along with me.
The struggle is real.
When quitting something, I notice there are a bunch of firsts involved. First day without, first time eating El Pollo Loco without it, first long car ride with no DK and recently, going to see a movie in the theater without a two-liter cup in the holder beside me.
It was not easy.
I wanted a Diet Coke so bad yesterday when I was watching “Coco” with my nephews (great flick btw!) that I literally talked myself down from the ledge upwards of a dozen times. Even after the movie, the urge hadn’t left me and I thought about how great a tall cold one would be with my nephew’s birthday cake.
Yeeeeeaaaah, that’s when I realized I was extremely close to the edge. Birthday cake? Really, Christina?
But I didn’t touch a sip.
I realize now some days will be harder than others and one’s will power has to be kept on reserve to be called upon at a moment’s notice. It’s this will, this desire, this determination to make a change in my life, that keeps me from simply giving in and having a Diet Coke party of one, me, a bag of ice, a restaurant-style water-glass and a twelve pack.
Will it get easier as time goes on? It did the first time. I hope it will this one. But I know that I never want to go through this again. When I quit smoking cigarettes over a decade ago, I thought I had fought the quitting battle of my life but damn, this is a close second.
And thank you again, for the continued support from all my readers, family and friends.
The struggle is real.
Day 58 and counting…
This past weekend, I had a Dr. Pepper. Last week I had a Squirt. I think since I’ve quit Diet Coke, I may have had an additional Squirt and a Root Beer and perhaps another soda here or there I’m forgetting. This has been over the course of the past seven weeks, since I’ve had my last sip of Diet Coke.
The reason I bring this up is because this weekend, when I was drinking the aforementioned Dr. Pepper, my husband mentioned that he thought I shouldn’t have it since I was quitting Diet Coke and that I wasn’t as completely void of it as I’d been saying.
He made me pause alright. And think. Was there any validity to what he was saying? I wondered.
See, for me, I’ve never had a problem with soda per se. My addiction exclusively lies in Diet Coke. It is that drink specifically that I not only crave but enjoy every minute of each sip. Once I have a Dr. Pepper, I’m good for months. I have no desire to have another and another and then another.
I thought about this, though. Do I want to be completely soda free?
I don’t think its that important to me to be. Since I could maybe have a handful of sodas during a whole year, that would never even last me a weekend if it was Diet Coke.
So, no, honey, I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with having a random soda every now then. It just can’t be Diet Coke. I’ve proven to myself I’m not capable of limiting it. Sprite, though? Eh, maybe on an airplane but for my everyday thirst needs, I’ll stick to sparkling water with lemon.
54 days and counting….
The holidays have a way of making it easy to indulge. From the treats and sweets that seem to appear during those times, to the drinking and eating events that multiple from November to December.
Yes, I’m generalizing but overall, in some form, people tend to splurge during the holiday season and many times it has to do with food and drink.
It’s already happening to me. I’m seeing Diet Coke everywhere and preparing myself for being offered it and having to turn it down, more than normal.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have thoughts of drinking an ice-cold DK with a turkey sandwich the day after Thanksgiving.
But no, I tell myself, no.
I must be strong when the temptation is great and though I know it will be easy to slip, I am determined not to.
My name is Christina and I’m a Diet Coke addict.
It’s been six weeks since I’ve had my last drink of the dark stuff.
And you know what? I feel pretty damn good. The cravings still come and go but I control them with ease now as opposed to six weeks ago when I thought I’d slap someone for even mentioning the soda in front of me. (God, I’m lucky my husband is a patient, loving man…!)
I was in Mexico recently and my husband and I are VIP members for a hotel chain, which allows us some perks like a concierge lounge. Well, inside that lounge among the chips and cookies were FREE Diet Cokes! Ice cold and ready to be consumed. It took everything out of me not to grab six and run to my room in ecstasy with a bucket of ice swinging from my hand. Actually, I envision myself skipping rather than running but I digress…
The point is I didn’t do it. I didn’t drink any. Not one.
And I was quite proud of my will power.
So, okay, six weeks. 42 days and counting…. I feel good about this!
And a BIG THANK YOU for all those who have come along for the ride with me and continue to give me support!
It’s been a month since I’ve had a Diet Coke.
The past couple weeks have been easier than the first ones but damn, these cravings still hit me like a ton of bricks.
And I almost caved today. Almost.
I had just finished an interview for a writing assignment I have when I decided to stop at my fast food go-to, El Pollo Loco. For me, Diet Coke goes hand-in-hand with my Wing Lovers meal so when the cashier asked if I wanted to add a drink, I debated it in my head and tried to find a way to rationalize just one… But when I noticed she was getting a bit impatient (and also probably wondering what the hell I was doing), I blurted out a ‘no thanks’ and asked for a water cup.
30 days and counting…
(And a quick plug since it’s the day after Halloween – my latest article on Blasting News is about things to do with your leftover candy!)
It’s been a week!!!!!!!!
And you know what? The cravings have lessened, the headaches are gone and my acceptance for this new reality of mine has grown.
I won’t lie. I still miss the stuff.
And it doesn’t help that I see signs for it friggin’ EVERYWHERE.
But with each new day, my desire for that dark bubbly liquid grows smaller and smaller and I take comfort in that.
I’ll write again when I hit week two (fourteen days on the wagon!) to let you know how it’s going then…
But in the meantime, time to tackle something else – decreasing my wine intake….(not quitting, hell no, but decreasing.)
It’s been four days since I’ve had a Diet Coke and I’m not gonna lie. I miss it.
I know I shouldn’t. I know it’s ridiculous to yearn for a flippin’ soda that’s bad for me but I said I’d be honest about the process so here it is, in all its glory.
I miss it. A lot.
Like, right now, for example. As I sit here with my cup of chicken gumbo while I write, all I can think about is how much I want a Diet Coke. This has been happening all weekend to me. My inner dialogue has been on speed: “Yeah, this slice of pizza is great but wouldn’t it be so much better with a nice cold DC on ice?” “Damn, that bike ride was fun. Shouldn’t I reward myself with a can of Diet Coke?” “This movie is good but what it really needs is a glass of the dark stuff in my hand and then it would be better.”
It’s been difficult.
But like the last time I quit all those years ago, I’m replacing this addiction of mine with sparkling water and though I love those tasty clear bubbles with a fruit essence, I’m grumpy about the replacement.
I hope it’s just the withdrawal talking. I’m pretty sure it is but damn, I’m in the thick of it. The hard part. The time where I try to convince myself I can have just one.
BUT NO. I’m not going to.
I need to stay strong and wipe out this fake-sugar-filled liquid from my mindset.
Benjamin Franklin once said, “It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.”
Damn, that man knew what he was talking about.
Today did not go well.
I caved. And I’m ashamed to say I did it quite easily.
I was grabbing a taco for lunch and saw the Diet Coke fountain machine just staring at me. It was literally right beside the register.
The universe gave me a test and I failed. Miserably.
I ordered one before allowing myself to think about it. Never a good sign. And then, to add insult to injury, the attendant handed me my change and said, “Oh, and there’s free refills.”
Universe, what are you doing to me???
Yes. I got a refill.
I was so beyond weak today.
I know this. And I have reset.
NO MORE DIET COKE. (and repeat…)