I completely understand how an addict falls off the wagon. It’s incredibly easy to do.
I haven’t had a Diet Coke in approx. four months and today, I was grabbing a quick snack on the way to a meeting and thought to myself, “Why not have a Diet Coke? It’s been so long, you can have it. After all, you’ve shown you can go without. What would one do?”
Sure, Christina. That’s what a junkie tells themself.
Though this little narrative in my head was doing its best to convince me just one wouldn’t do anything, I repeatedly told it to shut the f*ck up!
And I didn’t drink any.
The cravings may come and go much less than they have in the past but they’re still there and no matter how much I want to convince myself otherwise, I know I am an addict and “just one” will lead to another, and another and before you know it, I’m back on a 2-Liter a day.
Will it ever get easier?
I now get why meetings become a part of an addict’s daily life. It’s way too easy to deny one has a problem after they’ve quit for a while. The inner demons will try to negotiate with the inner angels and convince them just one won’t do anything.
Well, Devil, I didn’t dance with you today and I’m not gonna, so STEP THE F’ OFF.
116 days and counting..
(photo via Pexels.com)
This is the ninth entry I’ve written about quitting Diet Coke. For those keeping count, as I am, it has been 83 days since my last one.
I wish I could say the hard part is over but that isn’t 100% true.
The hardest part seems over but it’s still a struggle.
Especially recently. The holidays were a bit hard. Diet Coke was around me more than usual (or maybe I was just noticing it more,) regardless, it was in my face. Especially at the movie theater. Does Coke dominate the movie theater soda situation?? It certainly seems so…
I even bought some of the regular Coke for my nephews to have at Christmas Eve dinner and as I was pulling it off the shelf, my eyes caught sight of Diet Coke and even going on three months without any, I found myself wondering if maybe… I could just have a 20 ounce for good behavior… After all, it is the holidays.
Damn it! No!
I fought the urge and had a serious talk with my inner demons. In the end, the good side prevailed. And I chalked it up to another victory against the dark stuff.
Though I will write if something changes, I think this topic may not get as much attention in the future. Not because it’s over but because I feel grounded and unless I flounder, I’ll leave you knowing I’m going strong.
I do, however, have another blog series coming….
What do you think will happen if I buy a $2 Lottery Scratcher every week for all 52 weeks of 2018?
Well, stay tuned and find out right along with me.
The struggle is real.
When quitting something, I notice there are a bunch of firsts involved. First day without, first time eating El Pollo Loco without it, first long car ride with no DK and recently, going to see a movie in the theater without a two-liter cup in the holder beside me.
It was not easy.
I wanted a Diet Coke so bad yesterday when I was watching “Coco” with my nephews (great flick btw!) that I literally talked myself down from the ledge upwards of a dozen times. Even after the movie, the urge hadn’t left me and I thought about how great a tall cold one would be with my nephew’s birthday cake.
Yeeeeeaaaah, that’s when I realized I was extremely close to the edge. Birthday cake? Really, Christina?
But I didn’t touch a sip.
I realize now some days will be harder than others and one’s will power has to be kept on reserve to be called upon at a moment’s notice. It’s this will, this desire, this determination to make a change in my life, that keeps me from simply giving in and having a Diet Coke party of one, me, a bag of ice, a restaurant-style water-glass and a twelve pack.
Will it get easier as time goes on? It did the first time. I hope it will this one. But I know that I never want to go through this again. When I quit smoking cigarettes over a decade ago, I thought I had fought the quitting battle of my life but damn, this is a close second.
And thank you again, for the continued support from all my readers, family and friends.
The struggle is real.
Day 58 and counting…
My name is Christina and I’m a Diet Coke addict.
It’s been six weeks since I’ve had my last drink of the dark stuff.
And you know what? I feel pretty damn good. The cravings still come and go but I control them with ease now as opposed to six weeks ago when I thought I’d slap someone for even mentioning the soda in front of me. (God, I’m lucky my husband is a patient, loving man…!)
I was in Mexico recently and my husband and I are VIP members for a hotel chain, which allows us some perks like a concierge lounge. Well, inside that lounge among the chips and cookies were FREE Diet Cokes! Ice cold and ready to be consumed. It took everything out of me not to grab six and run to my room in ecstasy with a bucket of ice swinging from my hand. Actually, I envision myself skipping rather than running but I digress…
The point is I didn’t do it. I didn’t drink any. Not one.
And I was quite proud of my will power.
So, okay, six weeks. 42 days and counting…. I feel good about this!
And a BIG THANK YOU for all those who have come along for the ride with me and continue to give me support!
It’s been a month since I’ve had a Diet Coke.
The past couple weeks have been easier than the first ones but damn, these cravings still hit me like a ton of bricks.
And I almost caved today. Almost.
I had just finished an interview for a writing assignment I have when I decided to stop at my fast food go-to, El Pollo Loco. For me, Diet Coke goes hand-in-hand with my Wing Lovers meal so when the cashier asked if I wanted to add a drink, I debated it in my head and tried to find a way to rationalize just one… But when I noticed she was getting a bit impatient (and also probably wondering what the hell I was doing), I blurted out a ‘no thanks’ and asked for a water cup.
30 days and counting…
(And a quick plug since it’s the day after Halloween – my latest article on Blasting News is about things to do with your leftover candy!)
It’s been two weeks since I had my last Diet Coke and I’m feeling good about it.
I still get the random intense craving for a cold can over ice but those are much less than the one’s I had the first few days and I can fight them back with ease now.
Sparkling water (flavored) has been my savior. I truly don’t know if I could have done it without my bottles of Arrowhead Lemon or Orange sparkling or my inhouse SodaStream but thankfully, I don’t have to find out.
Oh wait, there’s someone else….
If this were the Academy Awards, I would be thanking my husband right now alongside my sparkling water. He has been so amazing to me. Whether it was going out to get me a fun drink so I could forget the dark stuff I love so much or dealing with my mood swings that first week with nothing but love, I am eternally grateful for having such a supportive partner.
And thank you to all who came along for this with me. I will write again when I hit three months. Till then….
It’s been a week!!!!!!!!
And you know what? The cravings have lessened, the headaches are gone and my acceptance for this new reality of mine has grown.
I won’t lie. I still miss the stuff.
And it doesn’t help that I see signs for it friggin’ EVERYWHERE.
But with each new day, my desire for that dark bubbly liquid grows smaller and smaller and I take comfort in that.
I’ll write again when I hit week two (fourteen days on the wagon!) to let you know how it’s going then…
But in the meantime, time to tackle something else – decreasing my wine intake….(not quitting, hell no, but decreasing.)
It’s been four days since I’ve had a Diet Coke and I’m not gonna lie. I miss it.
I know I shouldn’t. I know it’s ridiculous to yearn for a flippin’ soda that’s bad for me but I said I’d be honest about the process so here it is, in all its glory.
I miss it. A lot.
Like, right now, for example. As I sit here with my cup of chicken gumbo while I write, all I can think about is how much I want a Diet Coke. This has been happening all weekend to me. My inner dialogue has been on speed: “Yeah, this slice of pizza is great but wouldn’t it be so much better with a nice cold DC on ice?” “Damn, that bike ride was fun. Shouldn’t I reward myself with a can of Diet Coke?” “This movie is good but what it really needs is a glass of the dark stuff in my hand and then it would be better.”
It’s been difficult.
But like the last time I quit all those years ago, I’m replacing this addiction of mine with sparkling water and though I love those tasty clear bubbles with a fruit essence, I’m grumpy about the replacement.
I hope it’s just the withdrawal talking. I’m pretty sure it is but damn, I’m in the thick of it. The hard part. The time where I try to convince myself I can have just one.
BUT NO. I’m not going to.
I need to stay strong and wipe out this fake-sugar-filled liquid from my mindset.
Benjamin Franklin once said, “It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.”
Damn, that man knew what he was talking about.
Today did not go well.
I caved. And I’m ashamed to say I did it quite easily.
I was grabbing a taco for lunch and saw the Diet Coke fountain machine just staring at me. It was literally right beside the register.
The universe gave me a test and I failed. Miserably.
I ordered one before allowing myself to think about it. Never a good sign. And then, to add insult to injury, the attendant handed me my change and said, “Oh, and there’s free refills.”
Universe, what are you doing to me???
Yes. I got a refill.
I was so beyond weak today.
I know this. And I have reset.
NO MORE DIET COKE. (and repeat…)
Five years ago, I quit drinking my absolute favorite drink in the world.
Now, before I get bombarded with stories about how bad it is for my body, allow me to state I KNOW THIS.
I won’t lie. I adore the taste. The kick it gives me. The bubbly satisfaction.
But I am no longer twenty one and able to turn a deaf ear to the truth. I heed it now.
Somehow though, I fell back into my addiction before even realizing it. One sip lead to one can, which led to “why not have another” to drinking three bottles a day.
I have no middle ground with this drink. I am addicted and after allowing myself to drink some a few months ago, I fell off the wagon and found myself back on the sauce within a couple weeks.
It could be worse. It could be tequila.
But when I found myself craving the third one of the day, I knew I had to stop and stop quickly.
So, after just having my last diet coke, I want to officially declare I am back on the wagon.
PLEASE hold me to this.
And come along for the ride with me. I’ll be detailing my struggle of quitting over the next couple weeks. Can’t say I’ll write everyday, or maybe I will, but I have a feeling it’s not gonna be easy (if it’s anything like last time)…