health

Road Tripping Day 6

/ christinaparisi / 2 Comments

Today was a lazy day hanging out in the Carolinas.

My husband and I explored the local areas and soaked up the culture of both North and South, being by the border to both.

As someone who doesn’t like to be inactive, lazy days are not typically something I enjoy. But while on vacation, my husband helped show me how relaxing can be just being in the moment and enjoying one’s surroundings. He even marveled at my ability to let him drive slowly (normally, I get nauseous and tell him to step on it.)

Being in the moment enabled me to talk to the locals in a deeper way than I normally do. I talked to a young waitress fresh to the area and learned she was there to help her dad care for her grandfather. I bought a used book from a community thrift store where the sweet old lady behind the register chatted with those around her and smiled warmly as she wished me a good day in such a genuine manner. I smiled at passersby and thought about how little I take the time to just stroll without thinking about my to-do list.

I literally took the time to smell the roses today and made a point to vow to myself to continue this when I return home.

See, I loathe laziness but by definition it implies lack of effort. Being in the moment, however, is not a lack of effort. In fact, it’s the opposite as one needs to focus on what is in front of them if they are to be in the moment.

I realized today that being lazy is not synonymous with being in the moment and for some reason, I make that wrong association.

This all means getting out of one’s head. Not an easy thing for me to do but I’m trying and this trip (and my patient husband) is helping to show me how.

Till tomorrow….

#roadtripping

 

40 Years of Wisdom

/ christinaparisi / 3 Comments

In five days, I will be forty years old.

The twenty-one year old Christina would probably be in awe of a few things, like the fact I’m not a size 0 anymore and I quit smoking cigarettes and my husband is in the other room…

As I was driving home from work last tonight, I was thinking of the coming of this new era for me and some things I’ve learned along the way, like when I was six and I backed my little legs (both of them) up against the exhaust of a newly parked 1970s motorcycle muffler.

You can see #6 below for the lesson learned on that one because I decided to list my “words of wisdom” in order of age, taking some creative license with the first couple seeing as I’m not quite sure I remember being two.

Each of these lessons have remained important to me to this day so I thought I’d pass them on in honor of turning forty. I hope you enjoy them… and the little stories I included along the way.

40 Years Of Wisdom

1. Breathing is a most important thing.

2. My mother makes me more at ease than anyone in the world.

3. I love my family but my brother and I are very different.

4. Playing outdoors is a really fun way to spend your time.

5. School is interesting. But I question if all rules need to be followed…

6. Engines are very hot and second degree burns are no joke. The scars have lasted to this day so point being – Be Aware Of Your Surroundings.

7. We all make bad judgements. Such as being in second grade and pooping your pants and not doing anything about it until you get home… (TMI?)

8. Teachers can be very effective. Thank you Mrs. Riordan. We all hoped to get your class!

9. I love my family, with props to my father who works very hard for his family and my Aunt J. who speaks her mind bluntly but has a heart of gold.

10. Life can suck and be beyond your control.

11. I am different from many other people I come across.

12. Fight for what you want. A big thank you goes to my parents for allowing me to make the choice to go to public school rather than private Catholic school for seventh and eighth grade.

13. This monthly interruption of your body is a thing all women must go through. Men do not. (Which begs the question, would men want to if it meant they could experience childbirth? Talk amongst yourselves…)

14. Boys are fascinating and the dark-haired, tall ones seem extra appealing to me… I am one of those with a type, considering all three of my long-term boyfriends (with one becoming my husband,) were dark-skinned with dark hair and had a height of 6’0 or above.

15. My parents and I will not always agree on things.

16. Driving = freedom with responsibility

17. I am much better writing essays than I am solving math problems.

18. College = freedom with responsibility

19. Friends can be your family too.

20. Whenever I try to fit in, I end up sticking out even more. Faking things just isn’t in my blood. (Sorority life was not for me, though I did meet some amazing girls when I lived in for the year, and one of whom has become a best friend for life.)

21. Drinking Alcohol = freedom with responsibility. (Bonus lesson learned – no matter how much you win, you will lose to the house overall when playing video poker in casinos in Vegas BUT you will likely have a lot of fun doing it while drinking free watered down cocktails at one in the afternoon so it’s important to question first if you’re okay with that.)

22. Difficult choices bring lots of pain. Make them anyways.

23. The road of post-college life is not straight. Not. At. All. And you are the driver so don’t let anyone else take the wheel.

24.  Servers make a lot of money in Los Angeles. But you earn every penny by directly dealing with people who are hungry and been sitting in traffic for two hours to go ten miles.

25. Age creeps up on you. But question, what’s really in the number?

26. Making films is the main thing I want to do in life, though I adore the hell out of writing and should do something about that.

27. Fulfilling a life goal is one of the most rewarding experiences a person can go through. I made my first short film after working odd film jobs for years and just talking about it without doing it. (I have now made seven, played at festivals around the world, write about filmmaking and have a feature script getting some nice attention, which hopefully will lead to making it as my feature film directorial debut… stay tuned!)

28. The years of life go by fast. (Oddly, 28 was a hard year for me. I was tested plenty by the universe and did not pass them all…)

29. My father is my biggest fan. And I am so very lucky to have him as a father. (This is around the time I finally realized it.)

30. I am not always as in control as I think. It’s important to see things as they are, not as I wish them or want them to be.

31. I am not perfect. And neither are all my choices. And I do not have all the answers like I thought I did at 21.

32. My parents are my true best friends.

33. Love comes in all forms. (My nephews taught me how to break down the wall I built, not wanting others to get too close… that is until they entered my life.)

34. I can be the change I want.

35. I must try. I must earn what I want. I must be honest with myself. The rewards will come. (They honestly do!)

36. True love does indeed exist. And holding out for it was one of the best choices I ever made.

37. Relationships take work and are not one-sided. Being in one means thinking beyond oneself. (Ask my husband, as this is not always easy for me but he shows me how through his own actions Every Single Day.)

38. Positive energy begets positive energy. Period. Just try it. You get what you put in. Yin and Yang. Cause and effect.

39. Marriage is a journey, not a destination. And when two people support each other, the sky is the limit.

40. Breathing is a most important thing. (And aging is inevitable.)

I care.

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I completely surprised myself.

As someone who has never cared for the gender roles society tries to assign and in fact has more than often gone out of their way to disprove them, it struck me odd when I found myself tending to my husband’s every need the past two days and not minding it.

Let me explain.

It’s very easy to go along with the flow when your significant other is healthy and things are going smoothly, both rocking the world in your regular vibe, being on your own little cloud nine…

But then, there are days when things don’t go smoothly and the flow I mentioned starts to ebb.

Like when one of you get sick.

A few days ago, my husband got hit with whatever flu is going around and the poor guy’s throat has been so sore he hasn’t been able to talk, all the while his body has ached for days. I can still see it in his eyes. He’s not himself. This bug has taken over him.

And so, for the past two days, I’ve found myself taking care of him – asking him what he wanted and going to get it right then, doing all the laundry, preparing his favorite tuscan white bean soup and making sure he got fluids and plenty of rest.

And I didn’t mind it at all.

If someone asked me five years ago if I would one day take care of someone like I have the past two days, I might have either laughed thinking they didn’t know me at all or if they did, wonder what they’d been smoking.

My priorities were so much different then.

And as I was driving home from work tonight, I realized I no longer equated taking care of someone as being weak but instead saw it as one of the strongest things you can do.

And I smiled because I’ve come a long way from the girl who lived alone in a studio and loved it.

I care.

And it feels good.

Find Your Flow

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I have a story to tell you. A personal one.

When I came upon something that opened my mind, relaxed and yet strengthened my body and brought me closer to nature, I was floored.

Yoga.

It has since become a part of my spirituality.

My very first experience with yoga wasn’t amazing though. The instructor gave me a dirty yoga mat that I didn’t know was dirty until the guy who cleaned them told me right after class and then she kept calling out my name every ten minutes because she knew me, but still, it was my first time!

I did go back though and eventually, I learned about it and found my flow.

But life struck last year and I got married, moved and changed jobs all within 9 months, causing me to ignore the flow and jump right into the chaos without my precious life preserver.

Big Mistake.

I kid you not when I tell you that my muscles have tightened, my mind has been cloudier, my waist has expanded and my inner peace has struggled with the daily grind.

At first, I didn’t know what had happened. Here I was, happily married, with a job that pays my bills and then some and living in a beautiful new townhouse I got to call home. And yet, something inside didn’t feel at ease. My shoulders were always scrunched, my sleep was erratic and my bad habits came out of the woods ready to rage.

Then one day, I was looking through Groupon and a yoga studio caught my eye. It was close to home and offered a view of the ocean during practice. The price was amazing and I thought, “Damn, it’s been almost a year since I’ve taken out my mat!”

The moment I went, I was hooked right back on the yoga sauce.

That was two months ago. I do power yoga (a yin/yang/yin 75 min class) twice a week and I feel on top of the world.

When someone says, what difference can a little stretching make? I tell them:

All the difference.

Find your flow.

Namaste.

 

 

11 Reasons Age Does Not Matter

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Yes, I know. There are reasons age matters, like the fact we are mortal and our bodies wear down. And children. They have different rules. But among adults, it doesn’t really matter much…

Who among us hasn’t met a twenty-year-old who was way more mature than say, a fifty-year old? And doesn’t wisdom come from experience, not simply age? A thirty-year-old could be wise in their years while a seventy-year-old could be mean and well… not wise.

So, yes, there are exceptions when age does matter.

But here, I want to talk about 11 reasons it doesn’t. As I near my thirty-ninth birthday, I’ve found myself thinking about age. Honestly, I had thought I’d be farther in my filmmaking career by now. But when I started to get down about it, I quickly slapped myself and realized, who cares, age doesn’t matter! I can make films now and I can make them in twenty years. I can write now and I can write in thirty years. (Of course, all this dependent on the Universe keeping me around ;)

And in that vein, here’s eleven more…

11 Reasons Age Does Not Matter

1. Life is bountiful.

2. Friends see no age limits.

3. Eyes can open at anytime.

4. Love is always discoverable.

5. Food comes in all sizes, textures, shapes and flavors. Bash limitations by adding inventive new foods to your diet.

6. You’re only as old as you feel. As Satchel Paige asked, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?”

7. Age does not equal wisdom. It equals how many times the sun has moved around Earth since you’ve been on it.

8. You can take a risk however old you are.

9. Laughter is ageless.

10. The only time “It’s too late” is when you are no longer breathing.

11. Every day is a gift. Fight the darkness with light. Spread love and honesty. BE YOU.

 

Love IS The Answer

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The mass shooting of the LGBTQ community in Orlando, Florida, is deeply disturbing but it’s also indicative of the world we live in.

There can be no such thing as a utopia until there is no hate in the world and speaking realistically, is that ever possible when man has the choice to be both good and evil?

I don’t think so. Man is imperfect and we must deal with that.

The knee-jerk reaction is to take away guns, impose mass restrictions and preach love. But seriously, what good is that going to do? People who want to kill will find a way (the black market is probably better than the legal market) and hate does not listen to restrictions or preaching.

I think it’s fair to say that more often than not these horrific, senseless shootings are done out of anger and misguided religious beliefs. When one hears Christians claiming homosexuality is wrong simply because they believe it so and despite all evidence contrary, it’s enough to make you pull out your hair. When Muslims take their own lives ALONG WITH OTHERS in the name of their Koran, we try to fight fire with fire. When Scientologist’s force family members to shun their “non-believing” family members, one wonders how anyone can do that.

But religion is belief and there is no arguing with it as it is not rooted in fact.

Personally, I’m agnostic. But I can’t imagine any God wanting someone to hurt another simply because they’re different.

Why are people so fearful of differences?

Why can’t we all live together in peace?

What were those club-goers doing that made this killer so angry? Why are so many people so angry at others who disagree with them but cause them no injury?

Why are so many people unhappy?

Perhaps if we stopped paying attention to pop culture and turned to philosophy, we could start to learn how to live together in peace….

This is a people problem, not a regulation problem.

#loveistheanswer #natureisreligion

 

Make Healthy A Habit – Three Months Later

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It’s been three months since I decided to change things and make healthy a habit.

I wish I could write about how great it’s all been and how healthy has become so much a habit for me that I don’t have to focus on it…. but I’m not going to lie. It hasn’t been easy. And focus is exactly what keeps me going with it.

Allow me to explain…

My goal for making these changes to begin with is so I can live a healthier life and make the best decisions I can for my mind and body. Sounds smart, right?

But has it been easy? No. Not in the slightest.

I’ve had days where I threw caution out the window and reverted to the unhealthy habits I’m trying to get rid of. More than I care to admit actually. Things like deciding to go for the easy drive-thru meal rather than making a healthier one. Or opting for a third glass of wine, for the second day in a row.

No one is perfect and I’m fully aware of that. I’m far from it and I have no plans to live in a bubble. There are times for celebration and a little debauchery (granted it hurts no one other than yourself) but those should be the rarity, not the norm.

So, yes, I’ve had some struggles with reverting back to bad habits as time goes on and life kicks back in and the plans I made for the New Year just aren’t as shiny as they once were, now that the practicality of them has settled in while the romance has vanished.

But, and this is a big BUT, things have changed.

When I was pondering why I still made choices that are unhealthy for me, I realized something – they’re happening much less then before I made healthy a habit.

I’m much more conscious of living healthier now and even though my bad habits try to rope me back in, I’m able to resist them more by reminding myself of why I don’t want to make those choices any longer.

And the more I resist them, the easier it gets.

Here’s what I’ve found:

Three weeks may not make a habit, but it does change your focus.

And isn’t that the beginning for any real change? After all, how can you change something within if your focus on it hasn’t changed?

So while I may still have bad days, they are fewer then before. And changing my focus to be healthier these past three months has absolutely led to many wonderful things – regular weekly yoga, less processed food, healthier snacking and much more.

Personally, I think the key to changing one’s habits is being conscious about the ones you want to break and the new ones you want to make and then taking action, over and over again, to do so.

And know, it is not easy.  But then, what of value is?

Make healthy a habit. #makehealthyahabit

 

 

Make Healthy A Habit – Three Weeks Later

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Here it is. Three weeks after my three-week long project of trying to make healthy a habit.

I thought I’d answer the same exact questions from before…

Have I changed any habits?

Yes, I still maintain the changes I wanted to make. Not perfectly though, I will admit. I’ve gone through a fast food drive-thru twice in the past three weeks and I’m not proud. It was out of convenience. (And just for the record, In ‘n Out and El Pollo Loco doesn’t count as fast food to me. They’re more like once-in-a-while fun.) I have wine maybe two to three times a week and mostly two glasses or less. Big difference for me and I love that this has stuck. My diet has stayed way healthier with dehydrated fruit and kale chips leading the way in snacks as opposed to the kettle chips and candy days of 2015. I still have some other faults I’m trying to kick but those are more inward. I can say this though – a healthy life makes a healthy mind.

Is it getting easier every day to do so?

To some degree yes, but there are still challenging days. I miss things, like frozen soft pretzels and cereal bars, but learning about the unhealthy things inside them helps keep me stay strong.

Do I feel better?

Definitely. All over. Inside and out.

Does it take three weeks to make a habit?

It seems that three weeks is a pretty solid number to start with but effort is needed far beyond that, at least in my opinion.

Will I continue?

100%. And by my mind focusing on it so much right now, it seems that everyday I learn a new way to be more healthy and happy. The universe speaks, if you’re listening….

What does being healthy mean?

To me, it means treating my body the best that I can while being proactive by doing my own research about what is good or bad for me.

Thanks again, to all of you who have come along for the ride and showed support through likes, comments and shares. And for talking to me about it!

Stay tuned… I’ll keep you updated :)

Make healthy a habit. #makehealthyahabit

Make Healthy A Habit – One Week After

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It’s been a week since I ended my three-week long project of making healthy a habit, and I thought about how it would be best to write this blog post. I decided to go with stream of consciousness…

it’s been a week. i almost bought cheese puffs today at the drugstore. I haven’t had a snack like that in four weeks and counting… I resisted and went with cashews. the decisions are getting easier, but the temptations are everywhere. must they put candy in front of you at all times? no wonder kids these days live off of instant gratification and have two-second attention spans. treats are in front of them everywhere. i digress. i’m back to doing yoga. weekly. and with my husband now. if possible, i love him more. i recommend couples do this. wine has gone back to being a treat. i have it about twice a week. that’s better. sparkling water is great with dinner. i’m snacking on a banana as i write this. my habits have changed. it’s been four weeks now. i just had pizza for the first time. i’ll never quit that. just won’t have it too often. i feel good.

#makehealthyahabit

Make Healthy A Habit – Day Twenty-One

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Here it is. The end of my three-week Make Healthy a Habit project. And I am so happy that I’ve done this…

Have I changed any habits?

Yes.

Is it getting easier every day to do so?

Absolutely.

Do I feel better?

I feel great (and I’ve lost five pounds!)

Does it take three weeks to make a habit?

I don’t know. BUT here’s what I do know – it’s three weeks later and my desire for wine has greatly subsided, to the point I no longer think about it the same way I had before. And buying junk food has stopped being a part of my routine. I’m serious. Week one I had to focus on it regularly. Week two was a struggle. Week three felt way easier.

Will I continue?

Absolutely. I haven’t conquered all the bad habits I need to break yet…

What does being healthy mean?

I think it means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. To me, to be healthy means I’m making the best decisions for my mind and body and taking steps to prevent future illness while appreciating the moment I live in.

Thank you all who have joined me and showed support through likes, comments and shares.

Stay tuned… I’ll keep you updated :)

Make healthy a habit. #makehealthyahabit

 

**For the original idea, please visit here.