Political thinking.

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American politics allow a forum for discussion because thank God, we still have freedom of speech. We will often disagree with each other and that’s okay. Personally, I believe that if we act our beliefs, vote our beliefs, live our beliefs and fight for our beliefs, we’re enacting the best way to change the system and encourage others to see as we do. To me, example is the best mode of teaching.

But being someone who doesn’t fit nicely into a “party” within our political spectrum, I often find myself at odds with many, many people. Speaking in general terms, when I don’t agree with Conservatives, they think I’m wrong and believe I just don’t understand and when I disagree with Liberals, I find they tend to feel this overwhelming need to defend their positions and prove themselves right. It’s quite comical at times, on both ends.

I want to, however, partake in the political landscape of America. I believe and fight for what I find to be intelligent, true and in the spirit of individual freedom and prosperity, free from any force, whether it be government or my neighbor. And I don’t care what you call me, as I don’t feel the need to label myself. I find that often people lose sight of what is right or wrong because they’re trying to follow the lines of a particular party, so I stay away from those labels…But that’s my choice. I do, however, often find that I have to deal with others throwing random political statistics at me, quoting “journalists” and offering their opinions in what seems to be an effort to discredit my beliefs or prove their “rightness” over what I find to be true. And while I accept this as a part of choosing to take part in political thought in a public manner, I’ve asked myself – how does one demonstrate that difference of opinions are natural and what matters aren’t statistics of “parties” in power but rather basic, fundamental principals of what America should or shouldn’t be? This led me to question if Americans think in terms of political parties or their own belief systems? Political parties are not perfect, no matter whether they are left, right or center so why does it seem so many speak in those terms? Why don’t we debate what is right or wrong rather than what “Republicans” or “Democrats” do or don’t do?

Thomas Paine came to America in the later 1700s from England, where autocratic power ruled. He wrote COMMON SENSE, which was published in 1776. I find this writing to be quite thought provoking and informative. He wrote that he, as author, did not matter but rather “the Object for Attention is the Doctrine itself, not the Man.” Ah… This book is quality reading for anyone interested in American politics and I recommend it wholeheartedly.

And I would like to offer these questions: What do you want for America? What do you believe in? What does government have the right to force others to do? What does it mean to be free? If there were no earners, how would government hand-outs be paid for? If there is no incentive for productivity, will the producer continue to produce in America? And if they don’t, what will happen then? What do you expect from your government? And what do you believe “”Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” means? Is America a place to be granted things without earning them? And if so, who exactly gives them and from what money?

Some political food for thought… Not to be agreed or disagreed with, but rather as a means of invoking one to think about these things…

Something to be said for bluntness.

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In the past few months, I’ve found myself getting interested in the sitcom, “Everybody Loves Raymond.” Yes, I know this show was on years ago but I never watched it then. I tend to do this. I didn’t watch “Seinfeld” until it was off the air, and now I think it’s pure genius. Didn’t watch “Sex in the City” or “Six Feet Under” until they were airing their final seasons but I started at the beginning and fell madly in love with both…

Anyway, after watching “Everybody Loves Raymond”, besides forming a crush on Ray Romano (who, by the way, has a new show on TNT – “Men of a Certain Age” – and it’s fabulous,) I grew fond of his parents, Frank and Marie. They are these two bickering Italians, who are nosy, know-it-all, pushy, loving, funny and blunt. And when an episode came on where they were actually the healthy couple BECAUSE they were blunt and said what was on their mind and how they felt, it got me thinking… Sure, this couple is loud and obnoxious, but at least they tell it like it is. Maybe they don’t have much tact but they don’t hold things in, and if they try, it’s only a matter of time before it comes out.

And you know, there’s something to be said for bluntness.

While I think we should try to have tact and be understanding of others’ feelings, isn’t it better in the long run to just tell it like it is rather than keep it inside and compensate for it through vices, sarcasm, anger or pain? Why not say how you feel, when you feel it? As the show implies, maybe Frank and Marie aren’t as horrible as they appear…

As someone who more than not says exactly how she feels, I’ve figured out that many people are sensitive and one’s words and actions can be misconstrued. So while I do think that Frank and Marie Barone have a great point in being blunt and putting their feelings out in the open so that when they put their head on their pillow at night, they aren’t thinking about what they kept inside, it’s still important to remember to be considerate of others.

Maybe they don’t choose to do as you do, or even agree with you. That’s okay.

At least, you did as you believed. What more can you do?

There’s something to be said for bluntness.

Independence

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I have been an independent person since my childhood. At least, that’s what I’m told. And as far back as I can remember, I have always wanted to do things for myself, and never minded spending time alone. For me, independence is a highly valued virtue and one I do not take for granted. It is something I will fight very hard for, especially if I come across someone who wants to take it away from me.

In simple terms, Independence is self-rule, free from outside control. (Defined with the help of my handy Apple dictionary.) Granted, if one FORCES their rule over others, they should suffer the consequences and be punished. Otherwise, let us make choices for ourselves…

We, Americans, have a great degree of independence and I appreciate all those before me who have fought for this independence that I benefit from. I know it hasn’t been an easy way, a charmed road or a perfect journey to gain this independence, and there have been many bumps and detours and horrific occurrences along the way. But then, there has been much joy and a nation created for those to prosper under the truths of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” It did not grant us handouts but paved the way for us to create the independent life we want for ourselves.

As I watch America move away from independence and head toward dependence, on government in particular, I am full of sorrow. I do, however, believe we are still a great nation who values life and one’s ability to create the life one wants, and for that, I am grateful. As a first generation Italian American, whose family (on both sides) didn’t even make roots in America until the 1950s, I have seen the American Dream at work. My father rose from little means to become a successful businessman, putting himself through college while working full-time with a son and a wife, and through his own mind and body, he created his own success.

I love you, America. I thank you for what you have done for me and my family. I know you are not perfect, but I also know neither am I. But I do believe we both strive to be independent and self-reliant and for that, I feel privileged.

Happy Fourth of July!

What matters to you?

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If you had to make a list of the people who truly know you, warts and all, would it be long or short? And who would be on that list? The people you say you love and are your friends? Perhaps just your family or maybe they’re the one’s you hide your true self from? Or maybe you want no one at all to know you, maybe you don’t even want to know yourself, so how can anyone else?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve dealt with questions like: Is there anyone who truly knows who I am? Do I even have a firm grasp on who I am and who I want to be? And are those the same?

It’s interesting. As an observer of human behavior, and no I’m not a psychologist but rather a filmmaker, I would bet good money that very few people intentionally allow others to truly get to know them. I don’t know if it’s generally because one is looking for approval, or trying to be who others want them to be, or are maybe just insecure…  It could be any of many different reasons. But regardless, I’ve come to believe that people are who they are by the actions they take and the choices they make, which means, if someone is really looking, they can get to know you whether you want them to or not. As the common quote goes, “Actions speak louder than words.” And as for myself, I think actions SHOUT while words are barely a whisper. And that’s how I’ve come to learn about people, who they are and how I want them to fit into my life, if such a decision is called for.

Someone could have a lot of money, a fancy apartment, a cool job and yet, they have an evil heart, while another could have little money, barely a couch to sleep on and a dream rather than a paycheck and yet, they have more to offer another person than most do. I’ve found what matters is not who people say they are or what things they own or who employs them or hangs out with them. It’s the person they actually are, the choices they make, the actions they take, the life they lead and why. But in today’s world, it appears that the former matters more to people than the latter? And is that why there is so much unhappiness in the world?

What matters to you?

Cohesion

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Having lived in Los Angeles for over eighteen years, I’d say I’m qualified to speak about this city. And one thing I’ve noticed all these years is that there lacks a connection among those who live here. Granted, this is largely a transplant metropolis, meaning the majority of dwellers were not born here, raised here or even have been here for long periods of time, so their loyalty often lies to another city. And this being a mecca for those interested in film and television and of course, home of the legendary Hollywood, many come to Los Angeles with big dreams and even bigger problems. So I would argue many of the cityfolk feel little bond with this city, and in fact, may even come to hate it because it didn’t offer everything they had expected or wanted it to. This city gets a hard rap, often undeserved.

Though I’ve lived in Los Angeles the majority of my life, I had the benefit of growing up on the east coast, in Buffalo, New York. And from birth until I was ten years old, I lived in a place that was quite united. During the 1980s, I remember this city was consumed by the Buffalo Bills. Have you seen Vincent Gallo’s film, “Buffalo ’66”? Well, he nails this feeling. And yes, the Bills never won the Superbowl, but they did go to it four years in a row. See, even I, who couldn’t care any less about football, will defend this team until I’m blue in the face because gosh darn it, they have heart. And they had support of an upstate New York city who I would argue often cared more about them than they did themselves. My dad often took me to these games and I had a great time. But my point is, this city rallied around their football team. They shared this common bond and it was strong. Perhaps it still is, I don’t know, because I haven’t lived there in many years, but I distinctly remember the fellowship, the bond, the connection that permeated there throughout my childhood. And it felt good. It felt real. It felt like we weren’t all just strangers.

I can’t remember feeling this way about Los Angeles, except for when the very destructive earthquake happened in Northridge in the 1990s. But this week, I’ve noticed cars with Lakers flags on them. And while my first thought was that they were annoying, I immediately changed my tune when I kept seeing them and they conjured up a feeling I had when I was a kid. I started noticing people walking around in the colors of the team and wearing Lakers jerseys. It gave me a feeling of a city united. And it’s been great.

Yes, I think it’s important that we march to the beat of our own drums, but sometimes, it’s nice to be a part of a large band.

Keep on Truckin’

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As I approach the middle of 2010 with only a couple of festival screenings under my belt for my latest short film, “Rhythm of Causality”, I am reminded once again that being a filmmaker isn’t easy.

As the festival submissions start to dwindle and I have less and less to hear back from, certain thoughts start to invade my mind: “This was the short based on my feature.” “This is the largest scale short I’ve ever made.” “This is the one that I thought best represented my work.” “So few have been able to see it!” “Why oh why God does this happen to me??????”

Okay. Slight exaggeration. But only slight. I know being a filmmaker isn’t effortless. I’ve known this all along. And I made the conscious decision to go after this dream with the full knowledge that it is difficult, heart-breaking, risky, hurtful, and pretentious but then… it’s also wonderful, thoughtful, creative, honest, and everything I’ve ever wanted for my life.

So, I take the good with the bad.

I guess that’s what life is all about. We weigh our options. We make our choices and if we go for the hard stuff, we decide if the struggle is worth it.

And then we keep on truckin’.

Guess it’s time to write the next short…

Yes, master.

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The other day, the wireless router for my computer was having trouble and I couldn’t get online. After trying a few times, I thought, okay, well, I’m sure it will be fine soon. Maybe an hour goes by and I try again. No better. I start to wonder if maybe something is really wrong. But I continue working, which I was doing on my computer, and thought, well, I’m sure it will be fine by morning. I should clarify that I’m a reader for a production company and I do these things called “coverage” which are reports basically on the assignment I’m given, whether it be a script, book, play, etc. Anyway, to make a long story short, I hand in my coverage via email to my boss at whatever deadline I’m given. And in this case, I had to have it in the next morning. So, I finish my work, sleep a few hours and wake up to revise and edit it before handing it in. Bad news. Internet is still down. I start to worry. I try all the troubleshooting I know how and still nothing. I go to another computer in the house, a PC laptop (I’m a MAC user and it’s a desktop) and plug the router directly into it. It works. I hand in my assignment with only minutes to spare. And then I breath.

Flash forward to today. I’ve been known to drop things. And my phone has been, well, dropped a few times. But suddenly, it just decided to call it quits today. And I realized I couldn’t get any calls, make any calls or do practically anything with it. I learned this around 11am. By noon, I was panicking. Shit, my job could be trying to get a hold of me. Man, what about all the festivals I’ve submitted my film to? What if today is the day I get a call? Crap, what about my friends who need to get a hold of me? And my mom who calls 911 if I don’t call her back immediately? And what about text messages? I’ll never be able to retrieve those. And the photos I have saved on it and blah, blah, blah.

I had to tell my mind to shut the hell up. It’s a phone for Christ sake. And that’s when I realized how truly dependent I’ve become on technology. And it kinda made me sick to my stomach. I remember the days of high school, and yes, I’m about to date myself right now, where “landlines” didn’t exist, they were just known as phones. We had actual answering machines and if you were out of the house, either you used a pay phone or you didn’t make a call. No one could just get a hold of you at any time, anywhere. We didn’t talk about the “internet” and “social networking.” If you wanted to see photos of someone, you had to actually be in the presence of the actual photo.  And while there are definite benefits to the advancements of technology, it has also, in many ways, taken over our lives and one has to stop and ask, do we control technology? Or does it control us?

And not all new technology beats its predecessors. When I listen to vinyl records, I’m reminded of this. When I watch a 35mm film, it’s depth of beauty is more haunting than any digital film I’ve ever seen.

As today progressed, and I got used to not having a cell phone, I have to admit. It was kinda freeing. And though I will go get a new one tomorrow, I will always remind myself that it is I who holds the power. Not it.

Perception

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By definition, according to my Apple widget, perception means “a mental impression; a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something.”

It’s amazing how much perception comes into play when we as people identify something and interpret it, whether it be a person, place or thing.

Take for example someone who has been on a deserted island for weeks and when finally rescued by a ship, they learn there is nothing on board to eat but pizza. Chances are pizza will become the most delicious thing this shipwrecked person has ever tasted. And I’d bet they’d consume large amounts of it. But then take someone who works at Pizza Hut. Pizza is probably not the most delicious thing they’ve encountered, considering they have to deal with it for eight hours a day, four to five days a week. The difference between these two people is their perception of pizza. Pizza is pizza, no matter how you look at it. But Shipwreck person would likely perceive it differently than Pizza worker would. It’s their perception that matters. One perceives it to be delicious and life saving while the other may see it to be a pain in the ass and life draining.

Recently, I found myself looking at something completely different than I had in the past and I began to wonder why that was. I always thought a certain way about something but then slowly, I found myself seeing it in a different light. The situation hadn’t changed at all but rather I had changed, thus causing my perception of the situation to change. And in this case, it was a form of growth, of a better understanding of myself, and in turn, it led me to have a better grasp on what life means to me.

While we may try desperately to see things as they are, not as we wish they were (and this is incredibly important for a healthy life, I believe, because we can make that which is to become that which we wish it were,) it’s important to realize the world appears to one as how one perceives it to be. This can be risky, especially if one sees it through false lenses, but on the flip side, with a better understanding of oneself and of reality, one forms a better perception of  the world.

Galileo Galilei, a philosopher from 1564-1642, once said, “All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.”

Without one’s perception of things, this would not be possible. But with perception comes the chance to discover the truth and what greater thing is there? Falsity is just that – false – and even though it may hide pain for a bit or cover that which one doesn’t want to see, it doesn’t change that which is.

If one perceives driving fast to be acceptable but then after their tenth speeding ticket, no insurance company will accept them without incredibly steep premiums, one’s perception of speeding will likely change. If one kills someone on the road due to their speeding, one’s perception of speeding will likely change as well. The truth that speeding is dangerous and costly has always been there but it wasn’t until one’s perception of it changed than did their understanding of the truth change. And it’s the coming to the truth that’s the difficult part.

But when the truth of something shines its light, if one’s perception identifies it, I think it’s a glorious thing. Seriously. Like the parting of the clouds. Reality. Happiness.

Meditations on Living in Los Angeles

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I’ve been reading “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius and have been thoroughly enjoying it. Some of the meditations I agree with, some I don’t, some have made me think, some have made me disagree but overall, it’s been a worthwhile and thought-provoking book translated from the work of a philosopher & Roman Emperor who wrote and lived from AD 121 -180.

And while reading this, I decided to write some meditations on living in Los Angeles. As a fan of this great city, one who has lived here on and off for a total of eighteen years, I feel I am qualified to do so…

MEDITATIONS ON LIVING IN LOS ANGELES

1.  See past the illusion to find great beauty.

2. Welcome the sun and clear sky, for it is plentiful and will also induce a calmer mind if one allows it.

3. Take heed of the traffic, it will be your greatest enemy. Learn the city streets, the pattern of lights and stop signs and only use your signal right before you make a lane change, otherwise you’re just asking for the other car to speed up, which they will most likely do.

4. Beware of restaurants under the rating of A. Yes, it could only be structural problems but do you really want your stomach to take that chance?

5. Allow for all walks of life. This city is a melting pot of cultures and receives those willing to pay higher rents than most other cities in America with open arms.

6. Dreams are made and shattered here. Know that simply coming to Los Angeles does not actually end the work needed in order to achieve the dream of landing an incredibly competitive job. This may be a wonderful starting point but do not let delusion cloud your understanding that only 5% of the American population ever actually achieve these jobs.* That said, never forget YOU may be part of that 5%**.

* Statistic is not verified but rather made up to illustrate the point that many dreamers do not achieve the end employment they seek when first arriving here.
** Statistic is not verified but rather made up to illustrate the point that it is possible to achieve an incredibly competitive job but that it is very, very, very difficult to do, unless #7 happens.

7. Luck may be around the corner. In this city, one can become a celebrity over night. One can be discovered, make a million or just happen to be in the right place at the right time. And while this may be true in other cities, it is much less rare in Los Angeles.

8. Movies are plentiful. You are blessed with limited releases, independent theaters and an abundance of film festivals year round so it would be a shame if you didn’t go often. A damn shame.

9. Remember the celebrities you see throughout the city, from at the drug store to the local Starbucks, are people just like you and I.

10. Beware of parking meter attendants. They can smell an almost empty meter from a mile away and will ticket you before you can blink.

11. Take time to stop and ponder this: you have mountains, ocean and desert all nearby. Nature has smiled on this city and its beauty is all around should one be looking for it.

And some taken directly from “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius, that I thought are Los Angeles appropriate:

“Do not copy the opinions of the arrogant, or let them dictate your own, but look at things in their true light.”

“Think of the totality of all Being, and what a mite of it is yours; think of all Time, and the brief fleeting instant of it that is allotted to yourself; think of Destiny, and how puny a part of it you are. ”

“To refrain from imitation is the best revenge.”

Pure Joy

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I had been sitting on the couch for bit when I decided to go do some work in my office. Before I left, I noticed the couch pillow was messed up so I picked it up to straighten it out. As I did so, I saw a toy stuck in between the blanket and the couch and instantly, a great big smile spread across my face. This toy belongs to my nine-month-old nephew and my brain instantly flooded with thoughts of him, all of which put a great big smile on my face.

Pure Joy inside…

And that’s when it hit me. The tremendous joy this tiny little boy has brought into my world. And not only for me, but for his parents and all my family. Being one who never thought children would be in her future, I must admit that when my nephew was born nine months ago, I was surprised to find myself quite smitten with him. And that’s another great thing about life, the surprises we learn about ourselves when we are put to the actual test.

My nephew made me stop and realign my mission to fit him into it. His energy and love began to teach me the value of things like hugs, kisses and singing “Itzy Bitzy Spider” because it cracks him up. And the newness in which he views just about everything has helped ground me, reminding me that it’s not about the quantity, others’ expectations or the price tag, but rather it’s the quality and realness that matters.

In a world in which we often forget that joy does not come from material things but rather from within ourselves and our connection with others, it’s nice to receive a reminder of this in the form of a beautiful, loving little infant who brightens one’s day by giving hugs that last two minutes or looking up with pride after he figures out how to stand up by himself.

It’s this pureness, this realness, this unadulterated emotion that is so amazing that it’s sometimes hard to catch my breath. I feel it when I screen my films before an audience. I see it when I look at this little boy’s face. I sense it when my I’m near my parents.

It’s pure joy. And it’s there, in different shapes and forms for everyone, no matter how dark the clouds are.

It’s life realized.