If you had to make a list of the people who truly know you, warts and all, would it be long or short? And who would be on that list? The people you say you love and are your friends? Perhaps just your family or maybe they’re the one’s you hide your true self from? Or maybe you want no one at all to know you, maybe you don’t even want to know yourself, so how can anyone else?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve dealt with questions like: Is there anyone who truly knows who I am? Do I even have a firm grasp on who I am and who I want to be? And are those the same?

It’s interesting. As an observer of human behavior, and no I’m not a psychologist but rather a filmmaker, I would bet good money that very few people intentionally allow others to truly get to know them. I don’t know if it’s generally because one is looking for approval, or trying to be who others want them to be, or are maybe just insecure…  It could be any of many different reasons. But regardless, I’ve come to believe that people are who they are by the actions they take and the choices they make, which means, if someone is really looking, they can get to know you whether you want them to or not. As the common quote goes, “Actions speak louder than words.” And as for myself, I think actions SHOUT while words are barely a whisper. And that’s how I’ve come to learn about people, who they are and how I want them to fit into my life, if such a decision is called for.

Someone could have a lot of money, a fancy apartment, a cool job and yet, they have an evil heart, while another could have little money, barely a couch to sleep on and a dream rather than a paycheck and yet, they have more to offer another person than most do. I’ve found what matters is not who people say they are or what things they own or who employs them or hangs out with them. It’s the person they actually are, the choices they make, the actions they take, the life they lead and why. But in today’s world, it appears that the former matters more to people than the latter? And is that why there is so much unhappiness in the world?

What matters to you?