philosophy

Yin and Yang

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Yin and Yang. Opposite forces working together. I often think of this when I come across pessimism, which sadly, seems to be a lot these days.

I’m a filmmaker, as my readers know, and I’ve been in the throws of finishing my latest short film. This past year has been insane for me. I, in all seriousness, got married, changed jobs, directed/produced/edited my seventh film to date and moved – all within the past twelve months.

I’m not complaining. But I am proof that people can do what they need to do if they believe. There will ALWAYS be a thousand and one obstacles and reasons why something will be hard and/or challenging or have 1/100 odds.

But that’s the good stuff. That’s the gooey part of life that tests us. That shows us what we’re made of. That makes you either believe in yourself or think you aren’t good enough.

And lately, I’ve been thinking about this.

When other people tell me that I shouldn’t try for Sundance, I’m truly baffled. And I kid you not, I’ve had more than one person say there’s no reason to go for it. I don’t know anyone there… They’ve already decided… The fee is expensive… And blah, blah, blah….

Look, I know the odds are against me. I know every filmmaker and their mother wants to screen at Sundance because it makes careers. I understand it’s late in the game.

But I also know I wrote a letter to the programmer asking for an extension because I wanted my film to look its best and I was given one. I know that when you bet against the odds, the rewards are much greater. I understand that not everyone will like my film but I’d be a fool not to try to get it in front of as wide of an audience as possible. I believe in it. I believe in me. I believe in my work.

And when people tell me I’m a fool for going after something that only a few achieve, I use it to balance my belief that if you don’t try, then you can never achieve it. (Explains a lot of the frustration in the world, no?)

Yin and Yang.

Without darkness, there would be no light.

But it’s up to us to choose on what to focus….

Love IS The Answer

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The mass shooting of the LGBTQ community in Orlando, Florida, is deeply disturbing but it’s also indicative of the world we live in.

There can be no such thing as a utopia until there is no hate in the world and speaking realistically, is that ever possible when man has the choice to be both good and evil?

I don’t think so. Man is imperfect and we must deal with that.

The knee-jerk reaction is to take away guns, impose mass restrictions and preach love. But seriously, what good is that going to do? People who want to kill will find a way (the black market is probably better than the legal market) and hate does not listen to restrictions or preaching.

I think it’s fair to say that more often than not these horrific, senseless shootings are done out of anger and misguided religious beliefs. When one hears Christians claiming homosexuality is wrong simply because they believe it so and despite all evidence contrary, it’s enough to make you pull out your hair. When Muslims take their own lives ALONG WITH OTHERS in the name of their Koran, we try to fight fire with fire. When Scientologist’s force family members to shun their “non-believing” family members, one wonders how anyone can do that.

But religion is belief and there is no arguing with it as it is not rooted in fact.

Personally, I’m agnostic. But I can’t imagine any God wanting someone to hurt another simply because they’re different.

Why are people so fearful of differences?

Why can’t we all live together in peace?

What were those club-goers doing that made this killer so angry? Why are so many people so angry at others who disagree with them but cause them no injury?

Why are so many people unhappy?

Perhaps if we stopped paying attention to pop culture and turned to philosophy, we could start to learn how to live together in peace….

This is a people problem, not a regulation problem.

#loveistheanswer #natureisreligion

 

Make Healthy A Habit – Day Six

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Today was all about experimentation.

Using healthier ingredients, I decided to make something new for dinner and something old.

The new was cauliflower rice.

While I think it’s a creative way to have a “rice”, I completely overused the coconut oil and the entire dish tasted of little else. Even my husband, who loves coconut, thought it was too much.

Sigh.

The old was something called panelli.

They’re a Sicilian dish I grew up eating – fried garbanzo bean dough – and absolutely delicious. Well…. when made right. Which I failed to do this evening. I’m still experimenting with recipes passed down and also from a cookbook and though they didn’t come out that bad, they weren’t anywhere like my mother’s and grandmother’s.

Sigh.

And then, I accidentally overcooked my shrimp.

It was not my night in the kitchen.

But you know what, that’s okay.

Experimenting is part of the equation when making changes and not everything is going to be like hitting a ball out of the park.

I tried.

And tomorrow is another day.

Make healthy a habit. #makehealthyahabit

 

**For the original idea, please visit here.

Make Healthy A Habit

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I want to change some habits of mine. Things like not drinking wine as much and eating food that is better for my body (damn those french fries!)

New year. New start. The road is wide open.

It’s no wonder gym memberships sky rocket after New Year’s. It’s a great time to hit the restart button. Start of a new year. You’re ready to go!

But… that passion at the start of the year is rather difficult to maintain and the once-crowded gym of January becomes a much-emptier one by February.

So, how does one keep the passion alive for change well beyond the start of the new year?

I don’t know if there’s one magical answer but I do believe it has a lot to do with consciously trying to change one’s daily habits and making the life-changing commitment to do it. Therefore…

Welcome to my next blog project!

My husband mentioned he read it takes three weeks to form a habit. I did a little research on that and learned it’s a debatable claim loosely based on the work of cosmetic surgeon, Walter Maltz. I’m going to give it a shot, nonetheless.

For the next 21 days, I’m going to attempt to make healthy a habit, one that will become a lifestyle for me, not a short-lived resolution. I want to eat healthier, decrease my wine intake and learn new ways to treat my body and mind better. I’ve been reading up on the Paleo diet and while I don’t plan to eliminate all grains and dairy, I am very drawn to the idea of eating food directly from nature and returning to a simpler diet of meat, vegetables and fruits.

I’ll be posting daily (though exact times will vary) about my three-week journey of trying to make healthy a habit and I invite you to join me. After that, I’ll be posting weekly about how my habits have (or haven’t) changed.

We begin now.

I took a Kundalini yoga class this morning to help put my head in the right mindset. And now, I’m off to my local Sprouts to stock up on groceries for the week to help me make better choices. It will be tempting not to swing through a drive-through after I’ve worked all day or reach for a bag of chips rather than carrot sticks when I want a snack but it will only happen if I begin the process now and make the commitment to follow through on it.

Here’s to success!

Make healthy a habit. #makehealthyahabit

 

 

Why Generation Y has been given a special gift

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While there are differing opinions on what age group Generation Y actually consists of, I’ve decided to go with those born in the later-1970s to early-1990s.

I was born in 1977 and feel like I am right on the cusp of that generation. Too young to be included in Generation X, too old to be anywhere near Generation Z, so I go with Generation Y.

Now that’s out-of-the-way, I want to take a minute to speak to Generation Y and explain how I think we’ve been given a very special gift.

We had an analog childhood with a digital adulthood.

We got a taste of both worlds and the transition came right as we transitioned from childhood into adulthood, making it rather seamless for us.

Think about it for a minute. Did you play outdoors all the time while growing up? Did your television have a few cable channels at most, and maybe you even distinctly remember getting cable for the first time? Did you have no way of getting ahold of someone unless you called them on a phone, the one that is now referred to as a landline? Remember when pagers came on the scene? I never had one but that was part of the beginning…

Does it feel like time is moving faster than it ever has before?

It sure does to me. We, as Generation Y, never had all these devices and social media platforms to continually check and update. Perhaps things moved a little slower because of it. And I wonder if because our days are now filled with so much “stuff” – endless channels of social media and entertainment to choose from and let’s not forget, those pesky smartphones attached to everyone’s hands – time is just passing us by as we document what we had for lunch that day and who is dating whom.

Technology has crept into our lives in so many ways, from automated services to wearable devices, and while I understand and appreciate the many benefits of it, I can’t help but wonder if the children of today are losing a part of their childhood because of it all?

I watch my young nephews interact with smartphones and tablets and video gaming consoles with deft ease and I wonder if they will ever appreciate a lack of technology. They were born into the technological boom. It’s all they know.

Unlike Generation Y.

We grew up without endless technology at our fingertips. Our analog upbringing practically forced us to use our imaginations in playtime and fortunately, our teenage years will not be remembered via Facebook and Instagram but rather Polaroids and reels of film. We played in the dirt rather than watching it in a video. And while I understand that I write in generalizations for purposes of this blog post, I also understand that there was something very special about growing up in a world where connection was more often made with other people than with a wireless router.

Take yourself out of the equation

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Misery loves company.

I think there’s truth to that. It makes sense to some degree that miserable people want to share their misery or see other people be miserable in an effort to feel less alone. After all, when someone’s happy, they often want to share that too.

The other day, I was chatting with a friend and she was going on for a while about all that was wrong with her life. Some of the issues she was dealing with had to do with other people’s choices and actions having an effect on her. After listening for a while, I shared something with her that I apply when other people try to make me part of something I don’t want to be a part of.

I take myself out of the equation.

It really is that simple.

This doesn’t mean one shouldn’t help others; it simply means that it’s YOUR choice to help or not.

Years ago, I worked as an assistant editor and a boss of mine come up with the idea of having me check on my co-workers assignments at the end of the night to make sure they were done right. I would be receiving no additional pay but could perhaps have a better title. I thought he was joking. He wasn’t. Basically, he wanted to hold me responsible for all the assistant editor work. My work was fine; others weren’t.

So I took myself out of that equation.

The fact he had people who weren’t doing their job well had nothing to do with me nor did I want it to. I explained that I was hired as an assistant editor and would do my job to the best of my ability. Perhaps if I wanted to grow with this company, I would have made a different choice but I didn’t. The point is though – it was my choice to make.

Others may try to put you in their equations but remember, as long as no one forces you (because that becomes a whole other situation,) only you can decide to be a part of something or not.

Misery may love company but that doesn’t mean you have to be it.

——–

(For purposes of this blog, I use the word “equation” mostly figuratively though in the sense of this definition, taken from the Collins English Dictionary, “a situation, esp one regarded as having a number of conflicting elements.“)

Why I didn’t register for my wedding.

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I’m getting married in a few months and par for the course, I’ve been getting asked a ton of questions about it: where are you getting married? when is it? what color is your dress? how are you doing your hair? what is the groom wearing? what’s the color scheme? are you having a wedding party?

And those questions are easy. I give the answer and people seem to accept those answers with a nod of their head or a warm smile or a cute story about their own wedding.

But then… there’s another question that keeps popping up. And my answer seems to either confuse people or offend them, neither of which is my intent.

Q: Where are you registered?

A: I’m not.

Yes, it’s true. I did not register at any store for my wedding and here’s the simple reasons why:

I think the whole point of gifts should be that they come from the mind of the giver, not the receiver.

I think gifts should be surprising and not predetermined.

I think telling someone what you want for a gift defeats its purpose.

While it’s very kind people are asking my fiance and I what we would like as a gift, I can’t help but think that the purpose of an invite is not to invite someone to give you a gift but rather an invite for someone to join you in celebrating a most joyous occasion. And any gift they decide to give can just come from the heart.

Nearly three years ago, I received the ultimate gift when the universe introduced me to my fiancé. I am grateful everyday that I’m with him. Had the universe asked me what I wanted for a gift, I would never have been able to draw him exactly on paper and yet, he’s the most perfect gift I’ve ever received, which I never really knew I needed until I was given it.

A political growth chart

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With the upcoming 2016 election here in America, politics is in the air… for better or worse.

And I’ve begun to notice that this time around, many more of my friends and acquaintances are taking an active interest in the political landscape. More than ever before it seems and this got me thinking about how one goes through a journey as they submerge themselves into politics…

As for my own personal journey into politics, I credit my mother with its origin of moving me from passive bystander to informed doer. About eight or nine years ago, I noticed she had become much more interested in politics and the actions of our government and the discussions we had led me to wanting to know more. They also made it glaringly obvious to me that I had not taken much interest in something that I was finding to be of utmost importance – political affairs, especially those of the government who work for me.

My journey has taken me on many roads as I try to navigate the path I want to take. To date, Ron Paul has been the only politician in office that I have fully believed in. I hope more will be added to the list in the future…

Overall, I believe my political journey has made me a better person. Not only by becoming more informed, but by becoming politically active as well. After all, how can you make change if you don’t do something about the change you want to make?

It wasn’t a smooth road though. Passion runs high when one first embarks on the road of politics. And after learning about what is really going on, emotions will become intense. Not to mention with the advent of the Internet, which is quite new in the grand scheme of things, a wealth of information has never been so readily available. It all can come at you pretty hard. And typically, outrage will come. And you’ll want to voice it.

As I see my Facebook newsfeed light up with political news rather than mindless pop-candy, I am thrilled. It takes The People to make true change, not those in power, as both main parties continuously prove over and over again. But I also see a lot of blood boiling and anger running high, which led me to think about different stages of political growth…

POLITICAL GROWTH CHART

Infancy: Every sense is on overload and high alert. You struggle as you attempt to learn the basics.

Toddler: You tell everyone your opinion, which you think is the only one that should exist.

Child: You start to have some legs to walk on but you argue way more than you reason.

Teenager: You begin to appreciate differences in thought and opinion but still, you like things your way.

Young Adult: You accept that others think differently than you. Action replaces talking about what you are going to do or what others should do.

Adult: Your mantra becomes, “God [or who or what you believe in,] grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Little changes

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It’s the little things in life that really take us through our days, no?

While the big things can be splendid and magnificent, they are likely rare and not an everyday thing. But we as humans, fortunate enough to be alive that is, live every second of everyday. And even if you are the “it” celebrity of the moment or at the peak of your career, you still deal with the seconds and minutes of every day, no matter who you are.

The other day, I was watching the comedian Louie CK, who I think does a great job at delivering a social commentary in a comedic yet sharply observant way, albeit comfort is not his main concern. Anyway, I was catching up on his show and in one of his stand up bits, he said life is short “if you’re a child who died” but otherwise, it’s not so short.

This got me thinking about how long life is (hopefully!) and yet how short it ends up in the grand scheme of things. I started thinking about time in a different way. How what I do now may have ripple effects that don’t even come to life until my physical presence is gone and how small I really am.

And yet, how large I am too. How one person can make a difference and truly change the world. Hello, Steve Jobs…Albert Einstein…

Life is short in the grand scheme of things but long in the sense that everyday is 24 hours, which means we have 1440 minutes in every single day given to us and that IS a lot of time for us to do many things.

With this new outlook on time, I decided that if it’s the little things in life that get us from day to day, then it’s also the little changes along the way that help define and mold us into the people we are and become. While it’s important to smell the roses, it’s also important to ask if the roses are what you want to be smelling and if not, what is?

Here’s my list of eleven little changes I want to start implementing. Do you have any?

1. No longer kill insects when I see them. Only do so if I have to.

2. Practice more patience in the car. (I drive in LA, this will be VERY hard.)

3. Buy even less processed food than I do. (love chips and canned soup…)

4. Spend more time in and with nature.

5. Focus on breathing.

6. Meditate.

7. Ride my bike instead of driving, way more than I do.

8. Clean my shower more.

9. Treat my amazing fiance with even more love, as he not only allows me the freedom to express myself loudly but also has patience  and the most calming presence I’ve ever known.

10. Use cash more instead of credit.

11. Recognize the differences and celebrate those that move love, peace and wisdom forward.

Other people

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Something has been on my mind lately. Perhaps you can relate, perhaps you can’t but I’ve found that other people sometimes get upset with me because I’m not who they want me to be. Whether it be a friend who wants me to be more available or a family member who would rather me agree with them even if I don’t.

One of my favorite existential philosophers, Jean-Paul Sartre, is famously quoted as saying “hell is other people.”

Sometimes I wonder, is it?

Now, I’ll admit that in my twenties I was so self-absorbed I couldn’t care less if I upset someone. I always thought it was their problem and they could go to hell but thankfully, I evolved beyond that stupid point of view as I got older (with much thanks to philosophy and my parents!) And now, I live the life I want but always strive to be as respectful and honest with others as possible. I figure that as long as I am those two things, how much more can others ask of me?

Well, you’d be surprised. I’ve had friends get upset because I have to work. A lot. And therefore am not available to hang out very often. I’ve had acquaintances “de-friend” me from Facebook because they couldn’t handle me thinking differently than themselves. I’ve had bosses actually not appreciate my hard work and rather, treat me like I have a problem for simply wanting things done right. I’ve even, swear to God, have had people get down-right angry with me because I lack in pop culture knowledge and have no idea what they’re talking about. No shit.

I’m not perfect. And I’m not trying to pretend I am but damn, sometimes I feel like just yelling out, “Why can’t I just be me?!” Being a filmmaker who supports herself with two other jobs, time is greatly limited for me. I sometimes don’t turn a tv on for months and yes, I prefer things to be done efficiently because why they hell would one not? And recently, I’ve met the man I want to be with and also have became an aunt to two beautiful nephews so not only am I very selective in how I spend my time, I don’t have much to spare.

That said, I truly believe great beauty lies in the connection between human beings and the relationships we have with one another. Quality has always trumped quantity in my book. So I must ask, when another starts to demand something of you or get upset for what you lack that they wish you didn’t, what grounds are they doing so on? What’s so wrong with being different if you don’t impose it upon another and force them to be that way? Why do we not celebrate our differences rather than get angry about them (unless of course force is used and then, that’s a whole other ballgame…)?

Well… I don’t have all the answers but after much deliberation and observation, I’ve come to a conclusion.

The happier you are with yourself, the more you back off at being angry with others…