I’m getting married in a few months and par for the course, I’ve been getting asked a ton of questions about it: where are you getting married? when is it? what color is your dress? how are you doing your hair? what is the groom wearing? what’s the color scheme? are you having a wedding party?

And those questions are easy. I give the answer and people seem to accept those answers with a nod of their head or a warm smile or a cute story about their own wedding.

But then… there’s another question that keeps popping up. And my answer seems to either confuse people or offend them, neither of which is my intent.

Q: Where are you registered?

A: I’m not.

Yes, it’s true. I did not register at any store for my wedding and here’s the simple reasons why:

I think the whole point of gifts should be that they come from the mind of the giver, not the receiver.

I think gifts should be surprising and not predetermined.

I think telling someone what you want for a gift defeats its purpose.

While it’s very kind people are asking my fiance and I what we would like as a gift, I can’t help but think that the purpose of an invite is not to invite someone to give you a gift but rather an invite for someone to join you in celebrating a most joyous occasion. And any gift they decide to give can just come from the heart.

Nearly three years ago, I received the ultimate gift when the universe introduced me to my fiancé. I am grateful everyday that I’m with him. Had the universe asked me what I wanted for a gift, I would never have been able to draw him exactly on paper and yet, he’s the most perfect gift I’ve ever received, which I never really knew I needed until I was given it.