love

25 Days of Spreading Love – A countdown to Christmas: Dec. 2

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For the original idea, please go here.

23 Days till Christmas – spreading love with letters

A while ago, I read a memoir by Hannah Brencher, “If You Find This Letter”, which details her journey of creating “More Love Letters”,  a global organization that is geared toward compiling letters of encouragement and support for people who need them.

When I read her book, I was moved. I thought the idea of strangers spreading love through letters was both simple and brilliant. But I never did anything about it… until today when my Spread the Love project made me think of her movement. So I looked it up and got to work.

These personal acts of letter writing are perfect for the time we live in as impersonal forms of communication reach a peak. I’m drawn to Hannah’s idea because it utilizes global connection along with good old-fashioned handwritten letters, which one can argue is becoming a lost art form.  It merges the strengths of both.

For the second day of spreading the love, I participated in The World Needs More Love Letters Movement. I drafted four letters to the individuals currently listed on the site and popped them in the mail.

This is only the beginning of my love letter writing though. As I wrote these letters to strangers in need, I found myself genuinely wanting to be helpful and encouraging and loving. I signed up for their newsletter and will now actively be a participant.

Sometimes, people just need to know they’re not alone. And a love letter to a stranger can be an excellent way to show that.

Spread the love. #spreadthelove

25 Days of Spreading Love – A countdown to Christmas: Dec. 1

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For the original idea, please go here.

25 Days to Go – spreading love at yoga

I recently signed up for yoga classes at a studio near my home. Today I tried something called Kundalini and Meditation. It balances deep breathing techniques with body movement that’s both peaceful and emotional. Chanting and meditation are part of it as well.

During the practice, I couldn’t help but notice the participant right next to me because she was breathing very loudly. It was difficult to focus with the intense huffing and puffing that was taking place an arm’s length away from me.

My first impulse was to roll my eyes and try to figure out a way to discreetly move my mat.

But then, I realized this was a great opportunity to spread some love.

Rather than roll my eyes, I smiled at her.

Minutes later, the instructor had us all form a circle for a healing meditation. She mentioned someone could lay in the center if they wished. A minute later, my nearby yoga breather claimed it.

After the chant, as we all returned to our mats, the one from the center stood and thanked everyone for her experience. No one seemed to be paying much attention to her. No response was given by anyone.

So I continued to smile and nod and listen to what she was saying. After she was done, I told that her experience sounded cool and gave her another smile. She smiled back, happy to share.

Spread the love. #spreadthelove

Spread the Love

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When I married my husband a few months ago, I glimpsed into a future world of love, a love that years ago I wasn’t sure existed. Every day he shows me what it means to love and be loved.

I can’t say I’ve always been particularly closed off to love but I also can’t say I’ve been the type to welcome it in with open arms either. I’m 38 so I know that I’m part of the group “who waited to get married.”

I used to think love was complicated. I used to think love meant pain. I focused more on me than on finding someone else to love.

Ah, youth. And my early thirties.

The universe smiled on me though, taught me some lessons and then introduced me to the man I’ll be with till, well… it decides to take him back I suppose. But at present, I’ll focus on the here and now. Which leads me to this blog post.

Though I have been given this gift, I sometimes fail to always recognize it and appreciate it. I’ve found myself taking love for granted recently. And I’ve had moments of feeling anger over stupid things.  I’ve spoken to people in my life not from a place of love but from a darker place and at times when I could have projected warmth and understanding, I chose distance and lack of care.

What better time to realize this and want to change it than during the holidays?

I want to walk the talk though. And I’d love to invite you along with me as I do another blog project. (For past ones, click here, here and here.)

Starting tomorrow, December 1, I’ll be counting down the days until Christmas with a daily blog post detailing a way I’ve spread love and put it out in the world.

I realize love can be defined in more ways than maybe any other word used but for purposes of this blog project, I’ll be using the word to mean expressions of kindness and good will.

We live in a world that is far from perfect. People get hurt and die every day, in horrific ways. That is the reality of life. So why not try to balance it with acts of love? And maybe if we begin to do it consciously, it will become part of the fabric of who we are.

So why not meet me here tomorrow (posts will go up at various times but will be daily) and begin this journey with me? Let’s spread the love!

Ways to know you’ve reached the comfort zone in your relationship

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Maybe it happens after the second month of dating. Maybe it takes you both a year. Whatever the length, there will come a time in your relationship when you both will either separate or reach a point of comfortableness. (And yes, the later is a good thing! I realize that now, after thirty-something years…)

11 WAYS YOU KNOW YOU’VE REACHED THE COMFORT ZONE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

1. you no longer have underwear the other hasn’t seen.

2. things that were once cute are now NOT CUTE AT ALL.

3. you’ve seen each other pee.

4. they’ve seen you at your worst, and stayed around past morning…

5. you both weigh ten pounds more than when you first met.

6. they’ve seen it all – nose spray, hair remover and control-top pantyhose.

7. you’ll have at one point or another asked your mate if they were okay because of how long they’ve been in the bathroom…

8. you two speak your own language, that only the both of you fully understand;

9. you understand each other without speaking.

10. you’ll have at one time or another disappointed the other because, yes, you did in fact watch the next episode of the show you both love.

11. the mystery has been replaced by a sense of home, and it feels unlike anything you’ve ever experienced in the best way imaginable….

Outweigh

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My boyfriend is returning today after working in San Francisco since Friday. And I miss him. Honestly, much more than I thought I would…

See, I used to live alone. For seven years and to be frank, I loved it. I enjoy my alone time and relish in it so living with others has always been a bit difficult for me. I tend to hurt other people’s feelings simply by wanting to spend time alone so needless to say, I was looking forward to a three-day weekend flying solo.

Or so I thought.

After about twenty-four hours of all me time, which included cooking shrimp (something my boyfriend hates!), I began to notice a few things…

First off. Sleeping sucked. I woke up every three hours for some reason. And sleeping diagonal with one knee out just wasn’t what it used to be.

Also… I noticed he wasn’t there to show that I washed the floors and it made it not as satisfying. And arriving home after a long walk wasn’t the same without him being there to give me a big hug and ask about it, genuinely wanting to hear about the heart-shaped leaf I found or the funny saying on the corner church (“Soul Food Inside”). Cooking, even if it was shrimp, wasn’t as much fun without seeing my boyfriend clean his second helping. And I would have bet against it if someone told me I preferred to watch films with him rather than alone but it’s true. After watching both Indie films “Afternoon Delight” and “C.O.G.”, I wanted to hear his thoughts on them and wished he was beside me.

I began to think back on living alone all those years and suddenly, they weren’t as sunny as I remembered them. Lonely nights. Over indulging in vices. Days without human contact. Going in circles in my head with no one to pull me out…

I started out on Friday thinking I was getting a piece of my freedom back, living alone and answering to no one. But I ended up learning a valuable lesson.

I will always like my alone time but I like being around my boyfriend so much more.

Eleven things I would say now to my sixteen year-old self

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Wow. I got a pit in my stomach as I wrote that.

High school wasn’t my favorite time in life. It was one of my least favorite actually. Maybe that’s why I thought it would be a cool idea to think of eleven (my favorite number) things I would say to my insecure, lost in dreams, sixteen year old self now, if I were somehow able too, (I guess I’m still a little lost in dreams…)

TO: 16-YEAR-OLD CHRISTINA
FROM: 36-YEAR-OLD CHRISTINA

Advice it is wise to heed. Who better to give it to you?

1. Go to the dentist every six months. Just do it. Trust me. And floss.

2. High school is but a tiny blip on your journey. It may not feel as such but know that IT IS.

3. With freedom comes responsibility. Use it wisely. DO NOT get a credit card until you’re at least thirty.

4. Pinch yourself HARD every time you let a guy treat you anything but wonderful. Your arms will get red so hopefully you will learn not to tolerate this sooner than later.

5. And vice versus. Treat guys and others the same way you want to be treated. Period.

6. Don’t lie.

7. Enjoy the ability to BURN FAT like it’s nobody’s business. This will not always be the case.

8. Write in big letters “THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND ME” on something you will look at everyday.

9. Be kind. You may feel like the world is cruel and against you but you seriously have no idea how good you have it.

10. Don’t give up so easily.

11. Know you’ll always get the parking ticket so DON’T CHANCE IT EVER.