Los Angeles

Quick Road Tripping

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I know I’ve been a bit silent on my blog recently and I apologize. These past couple weeks have been a whirlwind of activity, as I’m sure many of you can relate to as we enter 2018.

2018?!

How the hell did that happen? Wasn’t it just 1995? But I digress… Over the past four days, I traveled to Northern California to see my sister and her six-month old baby and then to one of my oldest and dearest friends, who is in a nearby city and also happens to have a six-month old baby.

I was in baby heaven.

But before anyone asks, here’s my response to why we decided to not have children.

This past weekend was fantastic. Hanging with little babies full of love is not a bad way to spend a long weekend, that’s for sure. And I was able to see a dear friend of mine who I don’t get to see anywhere near as often as I’d like.

Though this road-trip of mine (solitary btw, which I recommend for everyone, married or not!) was short and sweet, I did make some observations along the way that I would love to share with you, my readers, as I have in the past :)

Also, happy new year to you all!

Some observations from a short road trip from Southern California to Northern and back again…

  • get your gas where it’s cheap. Prices at gas stations can fluctuate several dollars within miles of each other.
  • bring a car trash bag. it will make your life easier.
  • ignore your phone. people will text and call but do your own thing when on the road. it’s freeing and a great time to be in your head…
  • san francisco drivers are no joke. they get the job done and take no prisoners. los angeles drivers either wait for, what my brother calls, “the golden invitation” for lane changes and such, thinking they own the road, or they cut your off and then brake. I am a Los Angeleno but SF has us here. The drivers there need and want to drive. Here, everyone drives whether they want to or not.
  • be careful of “Economy” car rentals. Though my car did what it had to, it had no key fob to open doors (I used a key, what?!), no arm rest, side mirrors adjustable only by hand (yup, it’s still a thing!) and the most annoying beep if you didn’t immediately put your seatbelt on.
  • sing out loud to your heart’s desire. it’s cathartic
  • And I may have said this before but it’s worth repeating. It’s incredibly easy to drive over 90mph. My advice- keep your eyes on the speedometer unless you want to fork over hundreds of dollars to the state.

 

#roadtripping

11 Things Restaurant Servers Do Better Than Most

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It’s interesting that restaurant servers often get a bad rep.

I once had someone actually say to my face that with all the odd jobs she had to do, she never had to wait tables. And she said this proudly. When I looked at her incredulously and asked, why the hell not, because after all, she lived in Los Angeles where servers pretty much make $30-$50 an hour, she shut her mouth and said no response except for the one her face gave away, which was shock.

I suppose the bad rep comes from the label of “server” because let’s be honest, most people don’t want to serve others. But the reality of it is so different. It’s the hustle bustle of a living organism. It’s a show put on nightly that always has issues and yet manages to go on. It’s performance art, through both food and service. And yes, it varies in degrees.

As I was thinking about all this on my drive home, I started realizing there are some traits servers have that many others don’t. At least, not as skillful in my opinion…

11 Things Restaurant Servers Do Better Than Most

1. Open bottles of wine.

2. Multi-task spontaneously in a loud environment.

3. Pretend you don’t hear someone trying to get your attention.

4. Look cool while wearing an apron.

5. Eat standing up.

6. Play things by ear.

7. Dine out.

8. Talk to people when they are hungry and angry about it.

9. Look at someone without them knowing it.

10. Calculate percentages without a calculator.

11. Bite their tongue and smile.

 

Any other servers out there want to add their own?? Please do!

Road Tripping Day 7

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Today we left the Carolinas and made our way north to the Maryland/Washington DC area. My husband was born and raised in Baltimore and I have always wanted to see our nation’s capital so lucky for us, they’re very close to one another.

But getting there from the North/South Carolina border took us a good eight hours, with only a few stops. Traffic near the D.C. area can rival what one sees in L.A., though their freeways are not seven lanes, on both sides…

Thankfully, my love let me be the passenger so I could soak it all up without having to keep my eyes on the road (though I did try to be a second pair for him when the rain came down.)

I stared out the car window for many hours today, and with the help of some Apple music streaming, I thoroughly enjoyed the greenery that sped past as I made some more observations along the way, which I thought I’d share with you now, along with some lessons learned as well:

  • found out what a beltway is today (we don’t have them in California, right?) For those who don’t know, like yours truly, it’s a circular highway in an urban area.
  • Virginia means business when it comes to speeding. There are cops right along the freeway and every few miles, one will see a sign detailing the state’s strict speeding rules (and yet, their typical speed limit is 70mph… Catch up Los Angeles!)
  • Apple maps is hands down superior over Google Maps (though my husband would argue otherwise, hehe…)
  • Humidity can make a day of 65* feel twenty degrees warmer, no joke.
  • Rest stops aren’t as scary as I’ve made them out to be in my head. Or is that just the ones on the east coast?
  • I pee quite a bit more than I did as twenty-something, and what better time to realize that when in a car for eight hours. (TMI?)
  • Bug bites come in all shapes and sizes and they suck. Period. And I can’t stop SCRATCHING!!
  • As strange as it is, I literally cannot pronounce the word “Potomac”, not for the life of me.

 

Till tomorrow…

#roadtripping

40 Years of Wisdom

/ christinaparisi / 3 Comments

In five days, I will be forty years old.

The twenty-one year old Christina would probably be in awe of a few things, like the fact I’m not a size 0 anymore and I quit smoking cigarettes and my husband is in the other room…

As I was driving home from work last tonight, I was thinking of the coming of this new era for me and some things I’ve learned along the way, like when I was six and I backed my little legs (both of them) up against the exhaust of a newly parked 1970s motorcycle muffler.

You can see #6 below for the lesson learned on that one because I decided to list my “words of wisdom” in order of age, taking some creative license with the first couple seeing as I’m not quite sure I remember being two.

Each of these lessons have remained important to me to this day so I thought I’d pass them on in honor of turning forty. I hope you enjoy them… and the little stories I included along the way.

40 Years Of Wisdom

1. Breathing is a most important thing.

2. My mother makes me more at ease than anyone in the world.

3. I love my family but my brother and I are very different.

4. Playing outdoors is a really fun way to spend your time.

5. School is interesting. But I question if all rules need to be followed…

6. Engines are very hot and second degree burns are no joke. The scars have lasted to this day so point being – Be Aware Of Your Surroundings.

7. We all make bad judgements. Such as being in second grade and pooping your pants and not doing anything about it until you get home… (TMI?)

8. Teachers can be very effective. Thank you Mrs. Riordan. We all hoped to get your class!

9. I love my family, with props to my father who works very hard for his family and my Aunt J. who speaks her mind bluntly but has a heart of gold.

10. Life can suck and be beyond your control.

11. I am different from many other people I come across.

12. Fight for what you want. A big thank you goes to my parents for allowing me to make the choice to go to public school rather than private Catholic school for seventh and eighth grade.

13. This monthly interruption of your body is a thing all women must go through. Men do not. (Which begs the question, would men want to if it meant they could experience childbirth? Talk amongst yourselves…)

14. Boys are fascinating and the dark-haired, tall ones seem extra appealing to me… I am one of those with a type, considering all three of my long-term boyfriends (with one becoming my husband,) were dark-skinned with dark hair and had a height of 6’0 or above.

15. My parents and I will not always agree on things.

16. Driving = freedom with responsibility

17. I am much better writing essays than I am solving math problems.

18. College = freedom with responsibility

19. Friends can be your family too.

20. Whenever I try to fit in, I end up sticking out even more. Faking things just isn’t in my blood. (Sorority life was not for me, though I did meet some amazing girls when I lived in for the year, and one of whom has become a best friend for life.)

21. Drinking Alcohol = freedom with responsibility. (Bonus lesson learned – no matter how much you win, you will lose to the house overall when playing video poker in casinos in Vegas BUT you will likely have a lot of fun doing it while drinking free watered down cocktails at one in the afternoon so it’s important to question first if you’re okay with that.)

22. Difficult choices bring lots of pain. Make them anyways.

23. The road of post-college life is not straight. Not. At. All. And you are the driver so don’t let anyone else take the wheel.

24.  Servers make a lot of money in Los Angeles. But you earn every penny by directly dealing with people who are hungry and been sitting in traffic for two hours to go ten miles.

25. Age creeps up on you. But question, what’s really in the number?

26. Making films is the main thing I want to do in life, though I adore the hell out of writing and should do something about that.

27. Fulfilling a life goal is one of the most rewarding experiences a person can go through. I made my first short film after working odd film jobs for years and just talking about it without doing it. (I have now made seven, played at festivals around the world, write about filmmaking and have a feature script getting some nice attention, which hopefully will lead to making it as my feature film directorial debut… stay tuned!)

28. The years of life go by fast. (Oddly, 28 was a hard year for me. I was tested plenty by the universe and did not pass them all…)

29. My father is my biggest fan. And I am so very lucky to have him as a father. (This is around the time I finally realized it.)

30. I am not always as in control as I think. It’s important to see things as they are, not as I wish them or want them to be.

31. I am not perfect. And neither are all my choices. And I do not have all the answers like I thought I did at 21.

32. My parents are my true best friends.

33. Love comes in all forms. (My nephews taught me how to break down the wall I built, not wanting others to get too close… that is until they entered my life.)

34. I can be the change I want.

35. I must try. I must earn what I want. I must be honest with myself. The rewards will come. (They honestly do!)

36. True love does indeed exist. And holding out for it was one of the best choices I ever made.

37. Relationships take work and are not one-sided. Being in one means thinking beyond oneself. (Ask my husband, as this is not always easy for me but he shows me how through his own actions Every Single Day.)

38. Positive energy begets positive energy. Period. Just try it. You get what you put in. Yin and Yang. Cause and effect.

39. Marriage is a journey, not a destination. And when two people support each other, the sky is the limit.

40. Breathing is a most important thing. (And aging is inevitable.)

Keep the faith

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The past year has been rough for me, in terms of navigating my career. I’ve been struggling with finding avenues to get film financing for my feature and my latest short documentary has not been getting love from the 2017 film festival circuit.

Now, I know people have it a lot worse. I’m not comparing. I’m only saying it’s been tough for me within this context.

Many times when I meet other indie filmmakers/writers, we ask each other, “what do you do for money?”

See, it’s incredibly difficult to make a living as an independent filmmaker, especially for those of us who have opted to live in Los Angeles, which in my opinion is the epicenter of filmmaking. Rents are high and competition is stiff.

But this is not my first time at the rodeo. I’ve been making short films since 2006 and have toured the festival circuit for many years with various films. Some of my films have earned distribution. Some, not so much. Regardless, I’ve put my heart and soul into each and am proud of them.

But this year has been tough. Competition is fiercer than ever, especially with iPhones being capable of producing quality work. The barriers of entry are opening and that is great but there is a glut of content and it is growing increasingly difficult to have one’s voice and work heard among all the noise.

So, where does that leave us? The artists of the world who have something to say and are trying to figure out ways of getting it heard….

Pretty much left to our own devices.

But in my opinion, now is a time of innovation, fast moving technological growth and change. A shift in power is emerging and the monarchs are falling from grace, as blunt talk and transparency prove them to be the false leaders that they are.

I’ve learned it’s best to plant one’s own seeds and tend to them until they grow instead of putting your seeds in another’s basket.

Personally, I have been planting seeds all over. The dry spells have been insanely difficult and I have a long way to go but I plant, nonetheless.

And suddenly, some of the seeds are starting to sprout. Some are ones I planted years ago.

I’ve found if one heeds nature, and listens, answers will arise.

Just as I was starting to think about if it was time to switch gears and go after a more stable gig like copywriting or something, I received an acceptance for my feature film script to a popular film festival screenplay competition (I can’t say which one yet!) and one of my article pitches was accepted from a website I currently write for.

I won’t go on but my point of all this is to say that it is always worth it to keep trying for what you want because you never know when your seeds will become plants of their own. So….

Plant those seeds.

Tend to them.

And believe.

Because they will grow….

#neverletanyonetellyouotherwise

 

 

Start Small, Grow Big

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I’ve been thinking lately about the difficult things. We as humans all face challenges, some much larger than others, quite a few of our doing and many in the face of adversity, but that’s where we define ourselves really, if you think about it…

I’ve made short films for the past ten years. Most have played the festival circuit, a couple have distribution, but I have yet to hit my stride and earn a living from filmmaking. I’m far from giving up though. That simply won’t happen but my philosophy is to see things as they are and take it from there.

At the beginning of this year, frustrated with the lack of securing the budget to get my first feature film produced, I decided to take the script I wrote (along with a wonderful contributor) and turn it into a book. I haven’t written about it in this blog yet because then it becomes real. Out there. So please, hold me accountable for it.

Allow me to add some facts. I adore books. I’ve read them professionally as a paid book analyst for film production companies and writers for a decade now and read about one book a month for pleasure. I’ll pretty much read anything, though I must admit I’m not too into comics and graphic novels but I have given them a try to be fair.

Once I started writing this book, I started to wonder what took me so long to get here.

But then, who cares? I’m here now.

As I prepare Part I of my book to give to my father, who always provides me with an honest, critical analysis of my work, I can’t help but think about my path here.

I began telling stories when I was seven, filling my neighbor friend’s ears with my thoughts. I then wrote my first script at 12, a tv show titled “Roommates” (true story, I called The Roseanne production office, posed as a teenager “doing a homework assignment and would love a real script to see” and asked for a script, which they sent and I studied for days but I digress…) and then went on to college, unfortunately not as a straight-A student by any means. In fact, I was on academic probation. Twice.

The one class I excelled in happened to be Screenwriting 101. A bunch of my friends hated the teacher and thought he was difficult and I kid you not, some were even getting Ds and failing, unlike any of their other classes. They bitched about him constantly. I, however, found the class to be the easiest one on my schedule. I would often do the assignments the night before and get A’s on them. At the end of the semester, I gave the professor a postcard so he could send me my grade and when I got it in the mail, I smiled. It read, “Are you kidding me? Tops in the class. A++++!!! Have a great summer.”

I channel that when I start to doubt myself.

It’s time for me to write the book I’ve been thinking about for perhaps all my life.

So here I go…

Please wish me luck!!

“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.”
-Benjamin Franklin

11 Reasons Why Working At Night is Awesome

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Night work. Starting your day when other’s are winding down theirs.

Perhaps you’ve been there. Maybe you haven’t. Or maybe you’re there right now as you read these words….

I’ve worked nights throughout my life. When I was an assistant editor in TV, I would start my day at 7pm and end at 5am. I lasted a few months shy of two years before I realized I had no life and couldn’t make films.

Restaurant gigs then worked well for me, so I went that route instead. I tried to give up nights and did so for many years, but just as Michael Corleone said, “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in! ”

Haha, not exactly. It was my choice but I’ve once again returned to nights and in honor of that, since it’s been a looooooong time, I’ve decided to write this post:

11 Reasons Why Working At Night is Awesome

1. There is no traffic, to and from work. (I live in Los Angeles. This is a BIG plus.)

2. You get to see your city/town asleep.

3. No lines at places that are open. Especially grocery stores. The store is yours at 6am. And movie theaters. 10 am screenings and you’re likely going to get center row, middle of theater with no one in front of you so you can put your feet up.

4. The phone doesn’t ring while you work.

5. No one expects you to show up for social events. Ever. So it’s super fun and surprising when you do.

6. Offers you a different perspective on living.

7. You’re the first to hear groundbreaking after-hour news.

8. The bond you form with other night-owls. There’s something special about working in the wee hours of the morning, when everything is still.

9. Parking is typically not as much a problem. (Again, I’m in LA….)

10. You catch both sunsets AND sunrises.

11. The reactions of people when they see you having a glass of wine at 7am are priceless.

25 Days of Spreading Love – A countdown to Christmas: Dec. 18

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For the original idea, please go here.

7 Days till Christmas – spreading love by volunteering

My husband and I wanted to volunteer our time this holiday season to help those who are less fortunate.

In Santa Monica, there is a wonderful organization called One Voice LA. They help families at poverty level within our local communities. Every year they do a Holiday Food Program. Children receive toys and books and adults receive an overflowing basket of food. Tonight, my husband and I were two of the many volunteers it takes to make this happen. Along with people of all ages and cultures, we filled boxes full of food and then helped load them onto trucks. People from all walks of life, varying in ages and races, got to work tonight.

This is a four-day event and there are two more days left. Perhaps if you are in the area, you might consider volunteering as well. Information can be found here.

A beautiful part of humanity is the fact that we are all in this together.

The older I get, the more I realize, the holiday spirit is one of family, gratitude and philanthropy.

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”
– Aesop

Spread the love. #spreadthelove

 

Switching Jobs? Here’s 11 ways to deal with the stress…

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Until the day I can support myself as a writer/filmmaker, I will have to work other jobs. That’s my reality and a choice I’ve made so I can go after the work I want. Long story short, I’ve chosen to work in restaurants, as a server, for many reasons but largely because I love food and wine and being a server in LA allows me a flexible schedule with short hours and high pay while I write and make films. Also, the people in that industry are by and far pretty damn cool and I’ve learned a lot. But right now, I’m in the middle of transitioning between restaurants and it got me thinking…

11 Ways To Deal With Stress While Switching Jobs

1. Be Respectful. Anger and resentment gets you nowhere and typically… it only makes matters worse.

2. Have a Plan. Yes, I know, if you want to make God laugh you should tell him your plans. Things happen. Plans change. But still, isn’t it better to have some guide rather than none during the process?

3. Schedule Sleeping and Eating.  It’s easy to forgo sleep but so important not to. A body needs energy, especially if one has to do double duty for a bit.

4. Let those in your life know that you love them. More often than not, these are the exact people who get the brunt of your stress.

5. Know Why you’re doing what you are doing. If you don’t, question it until you do and then act accordingly.

6. Beginnings Are Temporary. Embrace that. It’s only a matter of time till it becomes less unknown.

7. 2nd Chance Time! Try things different this time around. Every beginning is also a new opportunity.

8. Leave vices at the door.  Easy to run away with when times get hard but vices are temp solutions and trouble…

9. Keep Things in Perspective. Ask yourself – Is this life or death? No? Then, settle down…

10. Take 15 minutes and give it to yourself every day. This should be ALL ABOUT YOU and there is nothing wrong with that.

11. Breathe. It helps. It just does. And try closing your eyes while you’re at it… makes it even better!

East to West

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I was born on the east coast of America, in upstate New York. And I lived there until I was ten years old, which is arguably during intense growing years of influence and shaping. After I left, I’ve probably visited Buffalo every two or three years for one reason or another. So, the east coast is in my blood.

But…

I’ve lived in Southern California after that, since I was ten. Los Angeles has been home for the majority of my life, with the exception of five and half years spent in San Diego for college (yes, it took me a little longer to graduate…)

Point being, I was a bi-coastal child of sorts. Today, I can meet people from the east coast and relate to them right away. My accent will come out and before you know it we’re talking about pop, snow days off of school and the fact that there’s a brick church on every corner (and if you’re one of those NYC snobs, there is more to New York than you guys, sorry to break it to you… moving on) I can also relate to people from the west coast though, perhaps more so. I’ve gone to junior high and high school here. I was here for the big quake of ’93 and the LA riots. California is part of who I am.

But then, so is New York.

So, as I was thinking about all this, I decided to use my knowledge for good.

Ways to know someone is from California or New York… (albeit in a general manner)

1. 70 degrees will either make you put a jacket on or a pair of shorts.

2. Public transportation is a way of life or a heard-of novelty.

3. Real or make-believe?

4. You know seasons change by the actual weather or from how stores dress their front windows.

5. Walking will mean more than “to the car.”

6. People smile at you, fake or not, rather than ignore you.

7. Close is considered to be either around the block or thirty minutes away.

8. You want a coke and will either ask for a soda or a pop.

9. Your day will be affected by either carpool lanes or public transit breakdowns.

10. You hold a prescription for Atavan or marijuana.

11. Calling a cab will take either five or twenty-five minutes.

Any other ways out there??