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I had a dream.

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I had a dream a few nights back that has not left me. Its simplicity in message was like a slap to my face. And I needed it. It was as though my subconscious looked my conscious in the eyes and charged full steam ahead.

Well… my subconscious won. But before I tell the dream, here’s some back-story…

I’ve been a bit down lately because my latest film “Your Move” has yet to play a festival. My confidence has taken a hit. And while I try to remind myself that when I made the all-or-nothing choice of being a filmmaker I accepted rejection, I still struggle with it. And lately, the struggle has been at an all-time high because though I love all my films, I applied everything I learned from them to this one and I feel it deserves to be shown in front of an audience. Alas, it has not though, except for my cast and crew screening which was one of the best nights of my life. But I digress…and there’s more.

While I’m feeling this way about my filmmaking, I also happen to meet a boy whom I really like. He makes me really happy, just being around him and though I feel like I know him, it’s also super exciting learning about him. But, as my readers know, relationships do not come easy for me so I’m struggling. BUT, I have jumped in, sink or swim. Perhaps this dream was trying to help me to not feel so scared about it.

Okay. I had a dream.

And in this dream I was hanging out with some friends but no one in particular whom I can remember. And we were in a place that was very high up and some people where jumping over a cliff and landing in these holes before they reached the ground. Some in my dream thought it was crazy but others were excited and enthusiastically jumping right over the edge. I was on the fence about it, should I? Shouldn’t I? I was worried. But then, I turned to my friend (?) and simply said “I’m going to do it.” We had to weave through people to get to the cliff but once there, I talked myself into it. Pretty much by saying over and over again, “Just do it.” (or something to that effect.) So, I took a deep breath, (I know, cliché, but I really remember doing this in the dream,) and I leaped over the cliff…

I went down in slow motion and made it into the hole. I landed on the ground with both feet (and I swear to God, this image is so crystal clear in my mind that I really wish I could draw.) Not a scratch was on me. I felt great. Then…

I woke up. And I’m pretty sure I had a smile on my face.

I think my subconscious took care of my conscious here and it’s really nice to know it’s looking out for its twin.

Sweet dreams!

30 days of something new…

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I like originality. And I like freshness. And I like coming across new things.

So… I’ve decided, similar to my 31 days project, that I would use this month to discover new things. Each day, for the thirty days of April, I will somehow incorporate something new into my life in whatever category I’ve assigned for that day. For example, today, considering I just came up with this idea, the category is projects. I have to devise a new project for myself…

Hence, this blog post about that new project. Below, you will find my list of categories matched with their assigned day. You will be able to find each day’s post on this new page of my blog – 30 days of April ’12, where I will detail what I’ve incorporated new into my life, according to each category, perhaps only for the day or maybe longer. Please join along if you would like! But even if you don’t choose to, I’d love to hear any feedback you may have… cheers!

April 1 – projects

April 2 – food

April 3 – exercise

April 4 – drinks

April 5 – books

April 6 – words

April 7 – photos

April 8 – television programming

April 9 – websites

April 10 – filmmaking

April 11 – news

April 12 – friends

April 13 – money

April 14 – car

April 15 – games

April 16 – nature

April 17 – fruit

April 18 – history

April 19 – family

April 20 – Italian language

April 21 – music

April 22 – clothing

April 23 – technology

April 24 – health

April 25 – politics

April 26 – restaurants

April 27 – philosophy

April 28 – quotes

April 29 – the opposite sex

April 30 – anything

Yes, some of these categories will take some creativity on my part to come up with incorporating something new into my life for the day or longer but that’s part of the fun… I hope you join me on this adventure. Check back tomorrow and every day in April!

exercise!

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For those who have been following my month of deciding to incorporate exercise into my life, I hope I don’t disappoint you too much. For those who haven’t, please see my former blogs exercise? and exercise. for a recap of my exercise adventure.

Soooo…. I meant well and I didn’t exactly fail at it, but I didn’t fulfill my goal as much I would have liked.

Here’s the truth. I wanted to exercise three times a week but in reality, I pretty much did it once a week.

Here’s what happened. I hate routine. I really do. No excuses but at first I thought I could do it every Tuesday, Friday and Sunday and after the first week of that, I thought to myself, “Christina, you hate routine. Just do it any three days out of the week.” So the second week, I altered the days and then forgot when exactly the new week began and the old one ended and what days I did it and so on…

But I did keep exercising, sort of, if once a week counts? In my world, I’ve decided it does.

Yes, I set a goal but then determined it was wrong for me and so… I changed it. Roll with the punches right? I try not to be too rigid but I also try not to give up. So, I’ve decided this…

I like jogging/power walking and doing body crunches (who knew!) So, I’ve altered my goal to fit my needs and it’s this – exercise at least once a week, try not to eat carbs after ten at night (I love sandwiches and work late so this one is especially hard for me) and walk as much as possible.

Three days a week? It just isn’t me. If I was trying to drastically lose weight or something, I’d be more rigid but the reality is I’ve already lost about three pounds doing just this and that’s enough for now so it’s just about being healthy and that’s something I want to do everyday. In particular, less Diet Coke, I’m down to about one a day on most days, less carbs, more cardio, more walking rather than driving if possible, less sugar and wine and stretching every day.

And you know what, I feel better after this month regardless of routine or not. It took me a bit to find my exercise groove, but I’ve found it and I like it. And it’s here to stay. (But I will write another blog about this six months from now to let you know the latest in my exercise saga…)

celebration

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This weekend I went to a bridal shower. Now, I hope I won’t be hurting anyone’s feelings when I say I normally hate these things because all those who know me should know traditional events, such as this particular societal ritual, are not normally my cup of tea.

That said, I went to a shower for one of my closest friends this weekend and I admit, I had a wonderful time. So this got me thinking… why was this one any different from the others I’ve been to? (And granted I haven’t really been to that many because many of those who are in my social circle are a lot like me and not to mention, my relatives live in another state…)

But then it dawned on me, it was because we were able to actually be ourselves, our true selves, and be there to celebrate the bride, whom we all know and love, and have a good time. There wasn’t any of that typical PC crap. We could actually say what we felt and celebrate the girl we love without having to be fake. Everyone there seemed to truly want to be there and it was just a good time all around.

Yes, the bride is a dear friend of mine but it was the honesty, the acceptance, the love, the warmth, the family, the celebration and the respect that made this day fun. So many times, these societal traditions tend to be a pain for all those involved, tend to be loaded with gossip and bullshit, tend to be more stressful than not and tend to be something done out of obligation rather than desire. But I didn’t feel that way this time and it seemed all those who attended didn’t either.

Now that is a true celebration.

text message etiquette

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I was talking to a friend of mine about text messaging and it led us to discussing proper text message etiquette… and this got me thinking that there really is such a thing. So, I’m going to share my top nine rules of text messaging, (I hate even numbers if you haven’t figured that out yet.) Feel free to agree or disagree right here, and of course, please add your own!

TOP NINE RULES OF TEXT MESSAGE ETIQUETTE according to Christina Parisi (with a little help from a friend…)

1. If your question takes more than three sentences to answer, CALL. DO NOT TEXT.

2. Always reply to a text, even if it’s not a question, to acknowledge you received it. (This comes from my friend, but I wholeheartedly agree.)

3. Be aware – not everyone understands text abbreviations. I swear to you, I have had to Google some…

4. Spell check is the enemy, as I’m sure we can all agree, but if it changes your message to such a degree that its indecipherable, send another text correcting it…

5. Group texts are annoying. Plain and simple.

6. Sarcasm doesn’t translate well through texts so be wary of your use of it. (I’ve learned this the hard way.)

7. There are just some times sending a text is inappropriate – deaths, special events, flaking… (but yes, I know, they are the easier way and I am guilty of this too.)

8. My biggest pet peeve – sending me a text to ask me how I am if we haven’t talked in a while. Really? Beyond “fine”, how much can I really say in a text?

and finally, perhaps the most important….

9. Emoticons have their purpose but are not meant for EVERY text you send.

It is what it is.

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There are some things in life one has control over. And then there are some things one doesn’t and you just have to say, it is what it is.

For example, I have a pretty bad case of OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder. Not the typical one that most have, like those who need to check if their oven is off before they leave the house or have their alarm clock set to an odd number (and I do both by the way) but rather the one that makes someone go a little extreme and need medicine to alter the chemical imbalance. I fought it for many years and tried desperately to fix it on my own but then, when it reached its worse, I realized it’s part of my brain makeup and once I finally accepted that, I sought help and have done a pretty good job of correcting it, as much as I can but…

It is what it is.

There are things about all of us that we wish were otherwise. Some people are short and wish they were taller. Some people are born with defects and wish they weren’t. Some people get cancer and have to deal with the truth of it. Some people mess up and suffer severe consequences because of it and then think, if only… But when something is permanent, it is what it is, and one must deal.

While we live in reality, sometimes it’s easier to pretend things aren’t what they are or try to deny something that one doesn’t want. My favorite line in any film is “Never underestimate the power of denial” – American Beauty. But I choose to try really hard to live in the here and now and in reality. Many times, it’s not the easiest or funnest, but I know inside it’s the right thing for me to do.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking lately about the fact that there are things about me that just are. Things I cannot change.  And when others have problems with one of these things, well… my attention gets drawn to it and I have to accept all over again that some things are beyond my control. And I like to be in control.

But then… I think…

Yes. It is what it is. Nothing is perfect. And what’s so wrong with that?

 

 

Butterflies

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You know that common expression, “He/She gave me butterflies”?

Well, one could argue it implies someone is smitten, nervous, excited. And it’s probably because one is in the presence of someone else who makes them happy but also a little sick at the same time, mostly because they really like being around this particular person but then this same person also makes them nervous in that they could not like them back. Come on, you know what I mean… (And if you don’t, wow, I’m sorry for you! Get out there and learn…)

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about it because I recently felt butterflies. And I forgot what a wonderful feeling they are. It reminded me of being in high school, when I was so thrilled that a popular senior wanted to date me, an insecure sophomore, or when in college, after bluntly asking the boy I liked if he just wanted to be friends, he came to my door five days later and we spent the next four years together.

I think the trick is to find someone who gives you butterflies forever, in the excited way since the sick way should disappear after a while. While every day my not be a honeymoon in any relationship, I think it’s this feeling that acts as the glue for when they’re not.

Butterflies. They begin with a cocoon, which isn’t the most attractive of things and is only partially complete, and then they turn into a beautiful thing that spreads its wings and flies. One could argue that’s like one person finding another, who makes them and their world even better.

God, am I turning into a romantic? Likely not, but… I do love the romantic period of the 19th century… hah

exercise.

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For those who are following the start of my exercise journey, may I say “thank you!” It is all of you I kept thinking about when I wanted so desperately to watch political videos rather than exercise but the thought of having to admit that to my readers (and of course my coach Tina who sure enough checked up on me this morning!) made me cringe, so I put on my new sports bra and workout pants and hit the pavement.

After my initial workout, in which my beautiful and wonderful friend Tina showed me the ropes and helped devise a workout plan for me (see previous blog, “Exercise?”), I was sore. Man, was I sore. But it felt good in the “no pain, no gain” type way. The goal I set for myself is to exercise three times a week, so seeing I started on Tuesday, I decided to workout again on Friday and Sunday, basically because those days fit my schedule. When Friday came around, I was hyped. I bought some running shoes and a sports bra and got to work. It felt good and I was glad to do it, though it wasn’t easy for me. I think the devil created lunges and crunches.

Then… came Sunday. Yeah, wasn’t really feeling the exercise. I just wanted to watch the Sunday political shows, hang out with my nephew and get some writing done rather than workout. I kept postponing it and postponing it until I realized the sun would go down soon and some of my workout is outside so I had to make a choice. And I chose to exercise and stick with my plan. As mentioned, it was really the thought of having to admit that I couldn’t stick with my plan that motivated me. I always viewed myself as a highly determined and disciplined person with a strong will but it’s easy to think that. Doing it is what counts though.

So, I did it. I made my exercise goal. Three times a week, cardio and muscle workout, which for me averaged about 40 minutes or so, even though I know Tina is going to tell me I should push for an hour. But hey, I’m just glad I didn’t keel over.

Stay tuned for my next blog about exercise, a month from now, it which I have to admit if I stuck with my plan or if I failed…

exercise?

/ christinaparisi / 4 Comments

Okay, judge all you want, but I will admit I’ve never really exercised.

Well, that is until today. Sure, I’ve done situps in my bedroom and have walked to the beach and even took a yoga class, once, but exercise has never been something that’s interested me. At all.

That is, until now. As many may relate, when one gets older, exercise becomes more and more important, if for nothing else than to circulate the blood. But also, as I’ve noticed, one’s metabolism can start to slow down. Now, I’ll disclose that I have been fortunate to have had a hyper metabolism all my life but lately, I feel that it isn’t at its peak anymore and this has really bothered me. To each his own, right? But I’m also motivated by wanting to be healthier and keep my body in prime shape. So…

I turned to one of my closest friends, who not only knows practically everything there is to know about working out, but she’s beautiful, toned, fit and has a body a supermodel might kill for. And she’s been so good to me. I truly wonder what I’ve done to deserve such an amazing friend… In fact, I tried to cancel today and she wouldn’t let me off so easy… Thank God! She’s been so supportive in trying to help me, since I had told her about my concerns about all this, and I feel so lucky to have someone like her in my life… But on to the exercise part right now.

She worked me out today. Power walking, jogging, lunging, stretching, crunches, weights, cardio, you name it. I had to ask her what a crunch was because I had no idea. And she showed me how to apply this all to a daily routine and how to do it right. She taught me about eating well, how best to exercise, what to wear when doing so, and so on. She even explained what cardio meant to me, since honestly, I would fail a test if that was the essay question.

And you know what…

I feel great. It was tough though. By the end, I was practically begging her to stop but tonight, I feel good. And motivated.

Regardless of whether you want to lose weight, be more healthy, tone up or just plain feel better, exercise is really great. There is a reason doctors always recommend it and I’m finally starting to realize that…

My goal is three times a week. But this is quite a new thing for me. So check back next week when I write a blog about my first seven days of exercise…

Do things happen for a reason?

/ christinaparisi / 6 Comments

As those who know me or follow my blog are well aware, I am not religious (I’m agnostic, actually) and I don’t believe in fate. But lately, I’ve been wondering… do some things happen for a reason? Or is it simply a matter of timing?

Ron Paul came into my life this past year when I was searching desperately for someone who I could believe in and could fight for to become my president. Since I’ve found him, I’ve been motivated to volunteer my time and work hard on his campaign. In the process, I’ve truly learned about what an amazing human he is. And during all this, I’ve been dealing with my career as a filmmaker…

I make films that I know not all people want to see. I wish they would but reality dictates otherwise right now. See, I believe in individual responsibility, in as little government as possible as the Constitution states, in philosophy, in making people think, in drawing out what one doesn’t want to think about. I don’t do it because I want to be different or controversial or antagonistic. I do it because it’s what’s real to me, what’s meaningful to me and what I’m drawn to as a filmmaker. It’s my life. And in effect, it’s my life’s work. But it’s not that popular right now. So, what do I do?

I keep at it.

And I think about the time when these values will appeal to the masses, even if they don’t right now.

And that’s where Ron Paul comes in. I truly wonder about the timing that he’s entered my life. It’s practically Kismet, but I never believed in that. He’s been at it for forty plus years and has never wavered from his principles. He’s braved the masses rejecting him, ridiculing him, ignoring him. But now, his time has come. Not only has he predicted this entire mess we find ourselves in as Americans, with blame belonging to BOTH the right and the left, but he’s resonating with America’s youth because they aren’t okay with the status quo.

It’s the likes of him and people like my parents, two individuals who have never asked for anything from anyone but came to America as legal immigrants and used their own efforts to achieve success and instill responsibility into their children, that I am motivated by to continue making the films I believe in and not succumb to anything but.

It’s a tough road to stand by one’s personal beliefs but when I see people like my parents and Ron Paul, I’m reminded that it’s our beliefs and principals that matter. And while the success of those who feel this way may not happen overnight, what’s important is that they remain true to themselves. Success is defined by each individual…

Perhaps the author of Charlotte’s Web, E.B. White, had it right when he said – “Your whole duty as a writer is to please and satisfy yourself, and the true writer always plays to an audience of one. Start sniffing the air or glancing at the trend machine, and you’re as good as dead, though you may make a nice living.”