“It’s all relative”

The other day, I was talking to a very close friend of mine and I mentioned to her something someone said to me, that was about my character, which I completely disagree with, and she said to me, “It’s all relative.” And that got me thinking…

It REALLY is all relative. By definition, using my go-to Apple dictionary, relative means “considered in relation or in proportion to something else.”

Remember that film “Castaway” where Tom Hanks character was on a deserted island after a plane crash and he had to figure out how to live off the land, which included him figuring out how to eat crab? Then remember when he was found by the steamer ship and returned to civilization and at his welcome thing, crab legs were offered, which are typically thought to be delicious and of quality? Well, what I found so great about that scene was the look on Hank’s character’s face when he saw the crab legs. It’s so all relative… Considering the experience he had been through, crab legs were probably the farthest thing he wanted and yet, to many people, they would be thrilled to have a feast of them before their eyes. I LOVE that cinematic moment and it came to my mind when I started thinking about this.

Many of us, and I’m including myself in this, are very quick to make assumptions about people and things without truly getting to know them. It is so easy to see differences among us as bad or scary instead of embracing them and it’s so easy to make presumptions based on what is relative to our experiences but what about taking into account the fact that every experience is actually different? And while we may build theories based on our observations and experiences, individuals are unique.

I have a strong personality. I know that and sometimes, it can rub others the wrong way, especially those who take it like it’s something against them. I am the type of person who will ask questions if I want to know more. I will tell you what I truly think if you ask, but will do my best to have tact while offering an honest answer. I will state my opinion firmly and have no problem if you disagree with me. In fact, I like it. Who wants someone who thinks exactly as they do? Not me. I can appreciate individuality and embrace it in others and myself.

And I mention this because I’ve been realizing that many are quick to make judgements on me because of one thing or another thing, without seeing the whole. They see what is relative to their experiences and who and what they choose to be and do. Years ago, I gave up caring about what others think of me and decided I was just going to be true to myself and let the chips fall where they may. In fact, I made a film about this several years ago. It’s called “The Beginning” in case anyone reading this is interested…

Anyway, recently, a boy I grew quite fond of told me that I was dramatic and he didn’t like it. Hm… well, I am a filmmaker and I do live my life in an almost cinematic mode in which I dare to act perhaps larger than the average person, in the sense of what I mentioned above, but second, and most importantly, it got me thinking about how little he actually knew me. That was his conclusion based on his own criteria and just because he thought it, didn’t mean I had too. But I asked myself, do you think you’re dramatic? And I decided no. I think I’m quite a realist actually but I suppose that when dealing with reality, that which is ACTUALLY there, one can certainly think of it as dramatic because most of the time, people don’t want to deal with what is ACTUALLY there. If I like you, I’m gonna tell you that. If I want to see you, I don’t think there is a need to play games. If I don’t like you, you’ll know. Is that dramatic? Not to me.

But then, it’s all relative.


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