I was in my car today for a long time. And anyone who knows LA traffic knows that Friday afternoons on the 405 can be brutal. Needless to say, I had a lot of time on my hands while driving and I started thinking about the fact that many people aren’t really from here or haven’t been here long. (Yea, driving can really make you realize this.) But hell, I’ve lived in LA almost twenty years but was born on the east coast and grew up there until I was ten, so technically, I’m not from here either. Nonetheless, twenty years is a long time and I feel I’m qualified to speak on being from LA. So, while I was driving, I remembered that comedian who did a bit about “you might be a redneck if…” and I thought I’d make one about LA. So…

You know you’re from LA when…

a celebrity is in back of you in line at Starbucks and all you care about is getting your coffee first.

when there’s traffic, you hope there was accident on the freeway so you can pass it and get back to going eighty miles an hour. (I’m going to hell for this one.)

sigalert means something to you.

you don’t expect to be “discovered” like Marilyn Monroe.

you know smog makes great sunsets.

you expect the weather to be sunny and perfect ninety percent of the year.

you realize earthquakes are a part of life.

and finally, you know you’re from LA when…

you don’t use the term “Cali”.