I know, in my mind and soul, that positivity is a force of moving forward, a force of dealing with things for the better and a healthy way to view life. I know this. And yet…

It’s hard to stay positive sometimes.

When things are not going the way one wants them too, whether it be with relationships, career, love, family or whatever, the circumstances of life can certainly bring one down. Maybe it’s your fault, maybe it’s not. But sometimes, life can be a difficult thing to handle and staying positive generally suffers.

I don’t want to complain. I have been given many gifts in my life, from amazing parents to a healthy upbringing and a great family but sometimes, I think about the struggle I face in making films or the lack of finding a co-pilot for this voyage we call life and I get down. Plain and simple. Not down the way I feel about seeing the government do things I’m against but down in the sense that I wonder if the struggle of living is worth it.

I know in my heart it absolutely is. But sometimes I’ll still doubt this, and I think any thinking person will do so also. Life is not easy, plain and simple, especially in these trying times…

Sometimes, it’s hard to go to sleep. Sometimes, it’s hard to get out of bed. Sometimes, one wants to drink the sorrow away or smoke a bowl and let the sorrow fade from reality but it’s still there when the daze clears, so guess what! Time to fade it away again… I’ve had many vices in my life so I know they cushion problems and negativity. But I also know they aren’t the answer. And I’ve learned DENIAL is one of the biggest vices anyone can have, and perhaps one of the most destructive. To quote the brilliant movie AMERICAN BEAUTY, “Never underestimate the power of denial.”

I wish I had the answers to give but I’m still searching for them myself. I do know that positivity comes back to you and that it’s one of the best protective coats one can put on in times of struggle. Can’t be false though, it has to be real.

It’s what guides me when the location for my next film suddenly becomes unlocked, when the boy I want to know just won’t let me, when I get sad that my career isn’t where I want it to be, when I have to work day jobs to make a living, when I realize I have no one who truly knows me, when I think about how I’m mortal and it’s all a matter of time, when…

Well, I could go on. As could anyone I suppose. But I guess, if this blog is meant to do anything, it’s to let others know they’re not alone when they feel they are alone and scared and sad and negative. And that if I can offer anything from what I learned, it’s that positivity is key. Sure, it may not feel as good as some other vices, but it doesn’t make you sick or unhealthy. In fact, it does just the opposite…

I think we can all use this reminder. I know I can.


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