philosophy

4 Days Till Christmas – Giving Back

/ christinaparisi / Leave a comment

Who better to give back to than a pair of loving grandparents?

When I was a child, I admit my grandparents were not my primary focus. Don’t get me wrong. I loved going to grandma’s because it typically meant I was going to see my extended family, in particular my cousins who were all around the same age, and have a great time while the adults chatted at the big table but I should mention the adults all spoke in Sicilian to one another so none of us kids could understand much of what was being said.

But my Nonna and Nonno were always happy to see me and I especially remember my grandma’s cooking and the smell of onion and garlic wafting throughout her house, no matter which room you were in. Tomatoes from the backyard were always used to make sauce, a Sunday tradition for us Sicilian folk, and all seemed right with the world back then… ah, famiglia!

It was only a few months ago that I introduced my Nonna and Nonno to my husband, Don. They were unable to come to the wedding unfortunately, as they’re in their nineties, but it was very important to me that they meet Don and I wasn’t willing to risk anymore time so we went this year. It was a wonderful visit and they welcomed him right in. He got to see a little slice of my past while meeting two people that mean a great deal to me.

Sorry to take the scenic route to my point… Today, I wrote a letter to my grandparents (in their native language, which I’m still in learning-mode on!) to say hello, happy holidays and to let them know I love them both very much. I am waiting to mail it though, because I want to print a few photos to include in the envelope but didn’t get out of work in time to go do it. Tomorrow morning though, I’ll be printing and mailing and I hope when they get my card, it puts a big smile on their faces.

“Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children.”  –  Alex Haley (American writer, 1921-1992)

#givingbackblogseries #givingback

5 Days Till Christmas – Giving Back

/ christinaparisi / Leave a comment

It’s 5 days till Christmas!!

And for today I decided to check out the Beacon Light Mission to see what their needs are and if I could fulfill any. I’ve done this before around the holidays and thought of them today.

I should mention I am agnostic. I am not Christian and though this is a Christian organization, I am drawn to it not for this reason but for the fact it provides showers, meals and beds to men in need and have been doing so in some way since the early 1900s. They aim to rehabilitate and to me, that all starts with a meal, a shower and a bed.

Whatever religious belief guides such a mission is fine with me. They seem to be transparent about helping and I dig that.

So, I went to their Amazon gift list and purchased a 6-pack of men’s boxers.

Maybe I’ll make someone’s holiday just a little brighter with some bare essentials…

#givingbackblogseries #givingback

6 Days Till Christmas – Giving Back

/ christinaparisi / Leave a comment

For those readers who have been with me a while, you may remember an organization I like to volunteer my time with by writing letters to those in need.

It’s called More Love Letters and after reading Hannah’s book years ago, I became a fan of the site and volunteer at least once a year by writing letters. I am a bit late for the holiday season but wanting to make sure, I checked the site and lo and behold, there was one more request for someone in need.

Today, I am writing a letter to a complete stranger. I believe it is a sign for her that she is not alone and I’ve included some words that have helped me in the past when life threw me something I wasn’t expecting or prepared for.

I encourage you to check out this site. More Love Letters is a global non-profit organization driven by the mission of spreading love to those who are heartbroken in some way. Something we have all been through at one time or another…

I love that I can give back by using my skills as a writer. And I know, if and when the time comes when I need this, the universe will provide because I firmly believe that what you put out in the world comes back to you.

“For it is in giving that we receive.” St. Francis of Assisi, 1181-1226

6 DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS!!!! Spread that giving spirit!

#givingbackblogseries #givingback

7 Days Till Christmas – Giving Back

/ christinaparisi / 1 Comment

Today was interesting. And an opportunity to spread some holiday cheer a la’ spur of the moment.

A little backstory first.

I volunteer and one of the events I signed up for was to deliver a holiday gift bag to someone either elderly or disabled.

I picked up my bag dutifully by the deadline and set out today to plan for delivery.

“Hello, may I speak with XX?”

“She’s not here, thank you…” (Tries to hang up #1)

“Excuse me… Sorry to bother. May I leave a message?”

“No, I’m sorry. I’m not near a pen. But I’m sure we’ll hear about you if we need to…” (Tries to hang up #2)

“I am very sorry. I am calling from XX and I am the volunteer for them. I’ve been assigned to deliver a holiday gift bag for XX and I would love make sure she has it before Christmas. At her convenience, of course.”

Silence.

“I’m not in town. But the neighbor to the west when facing the garage, is friendly and will accept it. Or you can leave it at the doorstep.” (Tries to hang up #3)

“Oh wonderful! I’ll see what looks safe and will do exactly that. Thank you. I’d just want to get the present to her before Christmas.”

Silence.

“Thank you so much. That is very kind. Happy holidays to you.”

“Happy holidays to you also!”

7 Days tills Christmas!

#givingbackblogseries #giving back

 

8 Days Till Christmas – Giving Back

/ christinaparisi / Leave a comment

It’s 8 days till Christmas!!

And today I decided to give back by spending time with my nephews in a positive and educational way.

I see my nephews, ages 8 and 6, weekly, unless I’m out of town. It’s a commitment I made to them when each was born. Flash forward to today, this weekend, and time was a little limited with my work schedule and their schedule, but we made it work.

During the two and a half hours we hung out, we did a map puzzle of the United States WITHOUT looking at a picture, drew dinosaurs (I’m pretty confident I could beat most in a trivia game about the Triassic period, I’ve been quizzed by an 8 year old, but I digress…) and then ended the morning with a few games of “hide ‘n find”, a game we made up which is a little like “hide ‘n seek” but instead of hiding ourselves we hide toys and then the other two have to find them and if it starts to take too long, we turn on the game of “hot and cold” too (it’s very fun!)

I witnessed smiles on two children’s faces today and the sounds of their laughter and “I love yous” were enough to make me want to give back to them until I am no longer able. They are the future and I want to help guide them toward a positive and healthy one by giving them their auntie’s time, attention and love.

La tua famiglia è tutto, as my grandparents would say.

Till tomorrow…

#givingbackblogseries #givingback

 

9 Days Till Christmas – Giving Back

/ christinaparisi / 1 Comment

Today, I decided to give back by spreading positivity.

I am a big believer that positivity begets positivity and the energy we put out in the world comes back to us.

Today, I decided to take advantage of any opportunity that came my way which allowed me to spread positivity and you know what, when one stops to look, there’s nearly endless ways…

I like to write in different settings outside my house and today I chose a fast food restaurant (and no, I did not have a diet coke even though the soda fountain was practically calling out to me…) I got up to use the restroom and saw the attendant was just beginning to clean it. He was going to stop in the middle of polishing the door to let me use it but I stopped him instead and told him no rush, I could use it when he was done. He smiled and was surprised. Later, when I was walking home, a bicyclist was on the same sidewalk as I and it was narrow. Rather than make him stop for me, I climbed onto the grass hill to my left and smiled, letting the biker pass by. As he did, he smiled back and said, “Thanks. Appreciate that.” At the fish store, I selected the fish my husband liked, rather than the one I do. I asked him what he wanted with it and cooked him a dinner he enjoyed – butter garlic lemon wild mahi mahi, steamed lemon broccoli, salad and baked potatoes with butter and greek yogurt (seriously, put down the sour cream and use greek yogurt, it’s awesome!)

I’m not writing this to pat myself on the back. I’m writing it to show how simple it is to be kind and spread positivity. And it came back to me ten fold already as I feel better than normal this whole day.

Try it. Tell me what you think…

#givingbackblogseries #givingback

 

10 Days Till Christmas – Giving Back

/ christinaparisi / 2 Comments

It’s been a long week. From working more shifts at the restaurant than normal to publishing three different articles on three different sites to writing two chapters of my book to starting this blog series, I admit I’ve spread myself a little thin this week.

This dawned on me when I saw my husband wasn’t very happy with me when I showed up to the volunteer event we were doing to pack holiday packages to families in need, a little late. I also went into “do it” mode, which meant I focused on the task at hand to just get the job done.

He reminded me part of “giving back” is being in the moment and enjoying it, not just getting the job done.

I love that about him. He balances me. He grounds me.

I know this blog series is about giving back and I did attempt to today by going to One Voice LA and spending two hours packing holiday dinner boxes for families in need but I failed too. I did the action but lost the spirit. I was exhausted and it showed.

Sigh. I said I would always be honest in my blog writing so here it is. The truth.

I think right now I should go give my husband a kiss and give back to him. He shows me the holiday spirit everyday and I am so fortunate for that. And I hope the work I did tonight packing those boxes will help make other’s holidays a little brighter.

But I am human.

“The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.” -William James, philospher (1842-1910)

 

10 days till Christmas!!

#givingbackblogseries #givingback

11 Days Till Christmas – Giving Back

/ christinaparisi / Leave a comment

I wait tables, as many of you know, and as a server, I make tips (let’s hope the Department of Justice keeps it that way #tiptheft) and lately, guests have been rather generous during the holidays.

Don’t get me wrong. I work for my tips. I make sure to give every diner the restaurant experience that I would want and I always do it with respect and a smile, even if those aren’t reciprocated. I believe in value for value and feel I deserve the high tips I get.

On that note, today I decided to share some of those generous holiday tips I’ve received with a fellow tipped employee.

I received a massage today that was one of the best I’ve ever gotten. She literally made my shoulder pain go away. It’s a small strip mall foot massage place that doesn’t look as great as it actually is and to be honest, I’m not sure if my masseuse speaks english, but her hands work magic.

Value for value.

I decided to give back today by sharing some of the holiday tip money I’ve earned in my tipped position to another in theirs, one who perhaps doesn’t have the type of sales a popular restaurant server does.

11 Days till Christmas!!

#givingbackblogseries #givingback

12 Days Till Christmas – Giving Back

/ christinaparisi / Leave a comment

As many of my readers know, I like to do a series around Christmas time in the spirit of helping others. This year, I thought I’d countdown the twelve days before Christmas by finding ways to give back.

From disastrous forces of nature to massive revelations of a sexual assault epidemic, this year has been a turbulent one for many, many people. And it’s reached everyone, from those on their thrones of power to the average citizen trying to make their way in the world. Overall, it’s been a rough year.

And while I am not shielded from pain and have known some myself this year, I also know I am more fortunate than many others. A day doesn’t go by without news of  atrocities in foreign countries happening to young girls or government figures trying to take away people’s freedoms by force. Sadly, there is an abundance of fights that need to be fought. An abundance of help needed.

And anyone can.

From a simple smile to someone having a rough day to donating millions to a relief fund, giving back can be done at any station in life.

For clarity though, I should tell you how I define “giving back.” I use it as an action noun. It is the act of one choosing to use their time, efforts and skills to help those in need as a way to reciprocate to the universe one’s gratitude for “this thing called life” (to quote Prince, may he RIP.)

For the first day of this countdown, the universe gave me an opportunity before I even got out of bed. After waking, I checked my phone like I normally do and saw a text from a friend who is going through a deep spiritual awakening and making major change in her life. She asked for some advice and guidance on writing a blog.

I absolutely want to help. Other writers have helped me along the way and I am thrilled to be able to give back as they did for me. I texted her some answers to her questions and agreed to read and critique her work and you know what? I’m looking forward to it!

I hope you come along for the ride with me over the next twelve days. Till tomorrow…

#givingbackblogseries #givingback

 

 

Open Communication

/ christinaparisi / Leave a comment

Communication has been on my mind lately and specifically, people’s fear of it…

By definition communication means to impart/exchange/share information, knowledge, news, feelings and ideas.

Sounds awesome, right?

Well, I’ve always found it to be. And while it may not be all butterflies and roses when it’s about an unpleasant topic or a disagreeable situation, that is when communication is perhaps most important and needed.

And yet, that is precisely when communication tends to fail.

From my experience, many people tend to fear communication and I’ve always wondered why. Now, I admit I’m one who likes to be straight-forward and I’m quick to put things right on the table, and I understand people don’t have to be just like me and communicate about whatever’s on their mind but, I wonder what is so scary about exchanging thoughts and discussing things? If it’s that passions will fly off the handle, leading to arguments, then simply have a moderator! I don’t know about you, but I see lack of communication all around.

As I was reading over politics, an answer stared me in the face. Anyone who follows the American government knows that they could all use a course on how to communicate. From sliding things into bills under the rug to shutting down discourse at the drop of a hat, politicians are well-versed in ways to get around communicating. And as I was thinking about all this, it hit me.

Communication is feared when truth is not on one’s side.

Think about it. If you believe in what you say and do, communicating will be no problem. Truth is on your side and acts as your guide. But if truth is not on your side, say you’re trying to hide or control something, communication is precisely what you would fear and try to stop from happening or at the very least, tailor it to keep a closed communication system in place.

Politicians love to make deals behind close doors even though those deals, in theory, should be done on the citizen’s behalf. Rather than talk about an issue, most try to send out bullet points so they can control the conversation. And God help any group who tries to make their voice heard outside of the two main parties. They will be shut down so quickly, they won’t even have time to blink. (Did you see what happened when the Libertarians and Green party wanted to participate in the debates?? Disgusting…)

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw

I agree with you, Shaw, and I’d like to add the second biggest problem is the fear of it.