love

Relationship Fun

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I loath routine. And both myself and my husband have a great dislike for boredom.

When we first moved in together, I asked if he’d be willing to do something to keep the intrigue alive and not only did he agree, but it’s since become a part of our romantic life…

Okay… So, what did I ask him?

I asked if he would allow me to get ready for our date nights without him and if he could knock on our bedroom door at a designated time to “pick me up.”

He said yes and got ready in his home studio.

That was three years ago and we’ve been doing it ever since.

See, you still get the mystery of it all. You don’t know what the other looks like for the date and whether they may have a surprise for you. You get to see each other looking nice in full form, not in each stage. You get to plan surprises for the other. And you get to wait and do your own thing before going out.

Give it a try.

Or maybe you have your own fun device? If so, please share!

 

 

Marriage Lesson #108

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I’ve learned a lesson recently in marriage. After living alone for seven years and not really dating for five of those years while I made films back to back, I should have known this was bound to happen and stop it but… well, I did it anyway.

But allow me to start at the beginning…

About a week ago, my husband and I realized the blinds in our new apartment were malfunctioning, including the patio door vertical blinds. I went back and forth a bit with our landlord and soon realized my husband was not very happy about it.

At first, I wondered what his problem was and why he wasn’t on my side. After all, I was trying to make our apartment as great as can be! But after a terse interchange, I began to see the reason why he was angry…

I shot off those emails, signed by both of us, without even consulting him. And my approach is direct and to the point while his is a bit more…. what’s the word…forgiving? Yeah. Forgiving.

He let me know that we are a team and I should consult him when doing things in our name together.

And you know, he was absolutely right. And I did apologize after I recognized that. And have since changed my behavior.

I was so quick to revert to old habits of doing what I wanted, when I wanted. But marriage is a team. And when something involves the both of us, than we both should handle it. As a team. And if we disagree, we talk about it and form a compromise.

Yet another lesson in marriage.

#justmarried

And stay tuned for my upcoming short documentary, shot on my honeymoon where I turned the camera on myself and new husband :) More information can be found here!

 

 

11 Reasons Age Does Not Matter

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Yes, I know. There are reasons age matters, like the fact we are mortal and our bodies wear down. And children. They have different rules. But among adults, it doesn’t really matter much…

Who among us hasn’t met a twenty-year-old who was way more mature than say, a fifty-year old? And doesn’t wisdom come from experience, not simply age? A thirty-year-old could be wise in their years while a seventy-year-old could be mean and well… not wise.

So, yes, there are exceptions when age does matter.

But here, I want to talk about 11 reasons it doesn’t. As I near my thirty-ninth birthday, I’ve found myself thinking about age. Honestly, I had thought I’d be farther in my filmmaking career by now. But when I started to get down about it, I quickly slapped myself and realized, who cares, age doesn’t matter! I can make films now and I can make them in twenty years. I can write now and I can write in thirty years. (Of course, all this dependent on the Universe keeping me around ;)

And in that vein, here’s eleven more…

11 Reasons Age Does Not Matter

1. Life is bountiful.

2. Friends see no age limits.

3. Eyes can open at anytime.

4. Love is always discoverable.

5. Food comes in all sizes, textures, shapes and flavors. Bash limitations by adding inventive new foods to your diet.

6. You’re only as old as you feel. As Satchel Paige asked, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?”

7. Age does not equal wisdom. It equals how many times the sun has moved around Earth since you’ve been on it.

8. You can take a risk however old you are.

9. Laughter is ageless.

10. The only time “It’s too late” is when you are no longer breathing.

11. Every day is a gift. Fight the darkness with light. Spread love and honesty. BE YOU.

 

Love IS The Answer

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The mass shooting of the LGBTQ community in Orlando, Florida, is deeply disturbing but it’s also indicative of the world we live in.

There can be no such thing as a utopia until there is no hate in the world and speaking realistically, is that ever possible when man has the choice to be both good and evil?

I don’t think so. Man is imperfect and we must deal with that.

The knee-jerk reaction is to take away guns, impose mass restrictions and preach love. But seriously, what good is that going to do? People who want to kill will find a way (the black market is probably better than the legal market) and hate does not listen to restrictions or preaching.

I think it’s fair to say that more often than not these horrific, senseless shootings are done out of anger and misguided religious beliefs. When one hears Christians claiming homosexuality is wrong simply because they believe it so and despite all evidence contrary, it’s enough to make you pull out your hair. When Muslims take their own lives ALONG WITH OTHERS in the name of their Koran, we try to fight fire with fire. When Scientologist’s force family members to shun their “non-believing” family members, one wonders how anyone can do that.

But religion is belief and there is no arguing with it as it is not rooted in fact.

Personally, I’m agnostic. But I can’t imagine any God wanting someone to hurt another simply because they’re different.

Why are people so fearful of differences?

Why can’t we all live together in peace?

What were those club-goers doing that made this killer so angry? Why are so many people so angry at others who disagree with them but cause them no injury?

Why are so many people unhappy?

Perhaps if we stopped paying attention to pop culture and turned to philosophy, we could start to learn how to live together in peace….

This is a people problem, not a regulation problem.

#loveistheanswer #natureisreligion

 

Breathing

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Some days are just plain stressful. Maybe it’s coming from your career. Maybe it’s of a personal nature. Maybe it’s both – gasp! Wherever the stress comes from, it hits you sometimes, right? I mean, who among us hasn’t had a day you just wanted to make go away?

This month has been rather intense for me. From having deadlines with film and writing, to being forced to move and find a new place to live, to switching my work schedule back from night to day, I’ve been juggling a lot of balls in the air and it hasn’t been the easiest of times.

That said, it hasn’t been the hardest either. Just stressful. And yes, stress is part of life but that doesn’t make it any easier.

Nature speaks if one is listening though and the other day, it sent me a message with a way to help make it easier…

First, a story:

My husband and I were shopping at our local grocery store and we were both not feeling very well. Cough and congestion. While he was picking out some veggies, I strolled around. It’d been a stressful week and I was running the list of things I had to do in my head as I aimlessly drifted in and out of the aisles.

And then I saw nectarines.

I was craving them earlier and was happy to see they were on sale. I stopped at the large aisle bin and started to notice my breathing, as I took in the sweet smell of a fruit I adore.

I wondered about my breath. Had I even been breathing this past week?

Sure, I know, it’s automatic. Thankfully, the mind and body kick in and focuses on it despite its owner’s lack of attention.

But at that moment, I was paying attention as I breathed in deeply. Focusing on air going in and out, I saw my husband checking out celery and I felt a wave of happiness come over me.

Why is it that we focus on what’s hard or what’s wrong rather than what’s great and what’s right?

Thank you universe, for the wonderful reminder of how to reduce stress:

Breathe. And see the good.

#claritycomeswithbreath

 

This Is Marriage.

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I’ve been having this reoccurring dream. Nightmare actually.

The dream is me finding out my husband is not going to marry me. Well, in the dream we are still dating and I learn he’s changed his mind and I am utterly and totally devastated. I wake up with a feeling that I never want to experience in real life. It’s scary.

I’ve been married six months now and it’s by far the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I thank the universe that I found the love of my life. Sure, it took me thirty-five years but then, there’s no age limit to finding love. Yeah, I guess there are consequences (perhaps no children, maybe lots of loneliness) but once The One is found, the wait proves to be well worth it. But I digress…

In that six months, I’ve had this dream about three or four times.

I should confess that I don’t handle lack of control well. And opening up myself to someone else, trusting them, loving them, is very scary. Maybe not for you, but it is for me.

I had this dream a few nights ago. And I woke up from it feeling that devastation yet again.

But as I came out of this hurtful slumber, I heard a voice say, “Morning baby.”

So I opened my eyes and said, “I just had the worst dream ever. I dreamt you didn’t want to marry me.”

My husband then turned to me and replied, “That’s funny because I was actually lying here, wanting to hug you so bad but worried I was going to wake you.”

And a smile spread across my face.

That is marriage.

Making your partner feel stronger just by being you.

#holdoutfortheone

 

 

Make Healthy A Habit – Day Fourteen

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I signed up today for my first 5k walk!

My husband and I have been wanting to incorporate more health-based activities into our dates and daily life and this will be an excellent way to do that.

It’s not only something we can do together that’s beneficial to our health but it’s also an annual event in our community, so it will allow us an opportunity to be active with our neighbors. It’s held on the beach during a health fitness weekend expo so hopefully, we’ll also learn about health as well.

The thing is, I wouldn’t have discovered it  (or at least I haven’t up to this point) had I not been actively looking for local health-based events. And it’s less than a few weeks away…

Part of being healthy is being proactive about it.

And who better to share one’s health goals with than the one you love?

Make healthy a habit. #makehealthyahabit

 

**For the original idea, please visit here.

 

 

25 Days of Spreading Love: Reflections

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Thank you to all who read my posts and followed along as I counted down the days until Christmas while trying to spread love in the world. (The original blog post can be found here.)

I feel very fortunate to have love in my life and I want to make more of an effort to share that. And this project has helped me to do that.

Over the course of twenty five days (well, the twenty-fifth day was Christmas!) I found ways to spread love and by doing that, it became part of my day. Once the project stopped, I didn’t make such a conscious effort any longer, though it was something that had seeped into my brain and made me think of it daily and for me, that was something I was hoping it would do. Repetition… There is something to be said about the simplicity of its effectiveness.

I also learned a few other things that I thought I’d share with my readers…

Saturdays are a popular day to read blogs (at least mine…)

Love is a universal message.

Self-discipline makes things happen.

I can actually write everyday.

Never judge anything on appearance alone.

Love is your engine. It moves you. It stops you. It propels you to new heights. It sinks you to great depths. It gives you momentum to go on.

I can make a difference.

Thank you to all who supported this project and myself. I hope you consider joining me this coming week as I launch a new project… Stay tuned!!

25 Days of Spreading Love – A countdown to Christmas: Dec. 24

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For the original idea, please go here.

1 Day till Christmas – spreading love by being with my family

In honor of the holiday this entire blog project has been written around, I chose to spread the love today but spending time with my family on Christmas Eve.

Thank you for coming along for the ride with me as I counted down the days till Christmas by spreading love in the world.

From my house to yours, Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

25 Days of Spreading Love – A countdown to Christmas: Dec. 23

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For the original idea, please go here.

2 Days till Christmas – spreading love by participating in a potluck

At work today, there was a potluck family meal. We were invited to bring whatever we wanted to share with our co-workers.

Typically, I would grab something real quick on my way and be done with it. Potlucks have never been my favorite thing.

But  not today. In an effort to spread love (and food is a wonderful way to do that!), I chose to take the time to prepare a dish. I even looked up potluck recipes from which I selected a three-bean salad.

It was interesting to see what people brought. And it was fun to try things I’ve never tried before. It was also very delicious to have so many dessert options, not to mention these little unbelievable meringues!

Overall, the potluck ended up being good food, good company and a good time.

“Food is our common ground, a universal experience.”
-James Beard

Spread the love. #spreadthelove