Have you ever hit such a low point in dealing with the opposite sex (or same sex if that’s who you fancy) that you consider just changing your number and moving to Alaska all in an effort to forget your behavior?
Hah, well, maybe I’m exaggerating… a little, but who hasn’t sent one too many texts or let their pride get in the way or drunk dialed or became a bit insane, like in that scene in SWINGERS when Mikey phones the girl who gave him her number at a bar like fifteen times that same night?
I bet good money we’ve all been there. And it’s not pretty.
And after going through yet another episode in which I perhaps did not handle myself as well as I would have liked, I realized that yes, I can get too explainy, and yes, I fight like a lion if one hurts my pride and yes, if I had believed someone only to learn they were full of shit, I get upset. Very upset. But when I sit back and think about it, I realize I get upset because I didn’t meet the one I’ve been looking for. So, in actuality, it’s not them. It’s me.
I have a high standard for who I’m going to be with. In the words of Carrie Bradshaw from SEX IN THE CITY, “I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.” And if I date someone who I like and want to pursue but then see they aren’t exactly feeling it or are moving away from it rather than toward it, I lash out. It’s something I need to work on… lesson learned. Again. But there’s another factor involved here and it’s called…
It’s not hard to find someone to be with if one keeps their expectations low or are willing to put up with others who are disrespectful, dishonest or unkind. But what about those of us who are not willing to accept any of this? Of course no one is perfect, myself included, but as the old saying goes, it’s about finding someone who is perfect for you.
But something incredibly special exists, right?
I’ve been blessed with two parents who found each other when they were in their teens and are still madly in love to this day. They set the bar high. So I’ve seen with my own two eyes, that yes, something special does indeed exist. But then, when I look around me and see the many people I know in relationships, I also realize that while something special does exist, it’s incredibly rare.
One could sigh at this, but I’ve made a decision.
Something special is worth finding…