Restaurant server humor

As most of you know, I wait tables a few nights a week at a restaurant to add to my writing income. I’ve been serving for much longer than I care to admit but I’ll put it this way – I started serving before having a cell phone was a popular thing…. yup! (And I’m not talking a smartphone, but any cell phone.)

Anyhoo, one of my favorite subjects to write about is restaurant humor – in particular, servers. There is so much material, I feel I could endlessly write about it… haha!

But I write today because I want to share my last three Blasting News restaurant server articles with my readers here. One of these articles even went viral and has been clicked on almost 100k times. (Can you guess which one?) I’ve begun to learn about the power behind social media and sharing…damn, it’s huge!

Personally, I think it’s a good thing. The gatekeepers of information are no longer able to thrive and transparency has never been so widespread. The future is globally connected and news journalists no longer have to be on a popular payroll to spread a story. In fact, the Internet has helped us see who is actually telling the truth and who isn’t… but that’s a post for another day.

Please find my latest restaurant server humor articles below and PLEASE add your own comments here for any of the articles. I’d love to hear your thoughts on these, funny or not! And if you do like any, please share!

Seven things servers wish guests wouldn’t do when dining out…

You might be a restaurant server if you…

10 Things restaurant servers know more about than most people…

Thanks for reading!


(Photo via


Five things restaurant servers wish they could tell you

I wrote another piece for Blasting News and this one offers a little insider information from a server’s POV to all who dine out :)

I promise I won’t always link to my articles but as a newbie writer for this site, all the views I can get will help me right now.

And come on… aren’t you a little bit curious about what a server would tell you before dining out? And if you are a server, well, this one’s for you!

Five Things Restaurant Servers Wish They Could Tell You

Happy Friday and thanks for reading!



11 Things Restaurant Servers Do Better Than Most

It’s interesting that restaurant servers often get a bad rep.

I once had someone actually say to my face that with all the odd jobs she had to do, she never had to wait tables. And she said this proudly. When I looked at her incredulously and asked, why the hell not, because after all, she lived in Los Angeles where servers pretty much make $30-$50 an hour, she shut her mouth and said no response except for the one her face gave away, which was shock.

I suppose the bad rep comes from the label of “server” because let’s be honest, most people don’t want to serve others. But the reality of it is so different. It’s the hustle bustle of a living organism. It’s a show put on nightly that always has issues and yet manages to go on. It’s performance art, through both food and service. And yes, it varies in degrees.

As I was thinking about all this on my drive home, I started realizing there are some traits servers have that many others don’t. At least, not as skillful in my opinion…

11 Things Restaurant Servers Do Better Than Most

1. Open bottles of wine.

2. Multi-task spontaneously in a loud environment.

3. Pretend you don’t hear someone trying to get your attention.

4. Look cool while wearing an apron.

5. Eat standing up.

6. Play things by ear.

7. Dine out.

8. Talk to people when they are hungry and angry about it.

9. Look at someone without them knowing it.

10. Calculate percentages without a calculator.

11. Bite their tongue and smile.


Any other servers out there want to add their own?? Please do!

25 Days of Spreading Love – A countdown to Christmas: Dec. 11

For the original idea, please go here.

14 Days till Christmas – spreading love by undo’ing a wrong.

Back in September, I left the restaurant I was serving at to go to another one. I had worked there for three years, the same lunch shifts, and had gathered a little collection of regulars.

One of them was a very kind elderly woman who would treat herself to a nice lunch every few months. She would dine by herself and I often chatted with her. When the shift was slow, we would talk for a quite a bit and I enjoyed seeing her. I knew what she liked, how she liked it and I made sure she got it.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance to see her in the weeks before I left. A few weeks after I was gone though, a former co-worker from that restaurant texted me to let me know this sweet lady had been in and asked about me. She gave him her number to pass on to me so I could tell her where I am now.

Such a sweet thing.

And I never called her.

In my defense, I was about to be married and then go on my honeymoon but that’s no excuse. I messed up.

Here it is now, over three months later, and I decided that today I would spread the love by undo’ing a wrong.

I found the text with her number on my phone and called her. No one answered so I left her a message with my number. I hope she calls me back.

Mistakes will be made; but it’s what we do about them that matters.

Spread the love. #spreadthelove


She called me back and we had a lovely conversation. I apologized for the delay in the call. She graciously understood. We caught up a bit and then she told me how much she appreciated my call and how happy it made her. I told her it made me happy too and I meant every word of it. And she can’t wait to come visit me at the new restaurant I’m at… #spreadthelove




Switching Jobs? Here’s 11 ways to deal with the stress…

Until the day I can support myself as a writer/filmmaker, I will have to work other jobs. That’s my reality and a choice I’ve made so I can go after the work I want. Long story short, I’ve chosen to work in restaurants, as a server, for many reasons but largely because I love food and wine and being a server in LA allows me a flexible schedule with short hours and high pay while I write and make films. Also, the people in that industry are by and far pretty damn cool and I’ve learned a lot. But right now, I’m in the middle of transitioning between restaurants and it got me thinking…

11 Ways To Deal With Stress While Switching Jobs

1. Be Respectful. Anger and resentment gets you nowhere and typically… it only makes matters worse.

2. Have a Plan. Yes, I know, if you want to make God laugh you should tell him your plans. Things happen. Plans change. But still, isn’t it better to have some guide rather than none during the process?

3. Schedule Sleeping and Eating.  It’s easy to forgo sleep but so important not to. A body needs energy, especially if one has to do double duty for a bit.

4. Let those in your life know that you love them. More often than not, these are the exact people who get the brunt of your stress.

5. Know Why you’re doing what you are doing. If you don’t, question it until you do and then act accordingly.

6. Beginnings Are Temporary. Embrace that. It’s only a matter of time till it becomes less unknown.

7. 2nd Chance Time! Try things different this time around. Every beginning is also a new opportunity.

8. Leave vices at the door.  Easy to run away with when times get hard but vices are temp solutions and trouble…

9. Keep Things in Perspective. Ask yourself – Is this life or death? No? Then, settle down…

10. Take 15 minutes and give it to yourself every day. This should be ALL ABOUT YOU and there is nothing wrong with that.

11. Breathe. It helps. It just does. And try closing your eyes while you’re at it… makes it even better!