Timing

I’m sure it’s safe to say that most of us, if not all, have heard the expression “timing is everything”.

Today, I’m pretty sure that not only is there truth in that but it was likely first said by someone who realized that life is like a puzzle, and there are moments that come together and fit perfectly to create a whole. I think we finish a ton of puzzles throughout our lifetime, some many more than others, but I also think timing has a lot to do with them.

I recently lost a job all the while dealing with the fact that my latest film has been rejected from the majority of film festivals I’ve submitted it too. (For those who don’t know, filmmaking is my life.) And while it would be very easy to get depressed about these two things, I’ve been trying incredibly hard to stay positive.

But I’ve had some help.

Is it a coincidence that I just happen to find a guy who I genuinely want to know and be with right before I lose a job that I enjoyed very much? Now while the fact I lost the job makes me sad, it’s hard to stay that way after meeting someone who makes me so happy.

But okay, I chalk it up to a coincidence and leave it at that.

Tonight, however, makes me think it might not just be happenstance…

As mentioned, I’ve been thinking a lot about my films, which isn’t that surprising since I probably think about them 90% of my day, but in particular, I’ve been thinking about my latest film which has yet to play a festival. It deals with the topic of individual responsibility for oneself. Those who are avid fans of my films, cheer me on and tell me to keep doing what I’m doing (though give me constructive criticism as well,) but it’s been hard because I know I make films that are not going to appeal to the masses. While there is definite room in the cinematic marketplace for escapism films, they seem to be all the rage and I by no means make them.

Today, I was cleaning out my office and came upon a DVD of a film called “Think of Me”. I looked it up on IMDB and saw that Lauren Ambrose was in it. I’m a huge fan of hers from her work in “Six Feet Under” so that was enough to get me to play it. I popped it in and settled back with a bowl of popcorn, a glass of wine and some diet coke on ice. I was hooked within ten minutes. And captivated until the end. I had tears in my eyes and I don’t cry at movies unless they somehow connect with me, deeply, on a human level. This film did and chances are, next to no one has heard of it.

Timing.

This is the EXACT film I needed to see right now. It was beautiful, courageous, honest, real and thoughtful. And the fact that it was made gives me such hope that I have a renewed energy about making the films I make. Sure, these films may not reach the audiences or profit level that a film like “The Avengers” might but I realize I don’t care. Artists stay true to themselves and I believe there IS an audience for honest work based in reality.

Timing may not be everything but damn, it sure it is something.

It is what it is.

There are some things in life one has control over. And then there are some things one doesn’t and you just have to say, it is what it is.

For example, I have a pretty bad case of OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder. Not the typical one that most have, like those who need to check if their oven is off before they leave the house or have their alarm clock set to an odd number (and I do both by the way) but rather the one that makes someone go a little extreme and need medicine to alter the chemical imbalance. I fought it for many years and tried desperately to fix it on my own but then, when it reached its worse, I realized it’s part of my brain makeup and once I finally accepted that, I sought help and have done a pretty good job of correcting it, as much as I can but…

It is what it is.

There are things about all of us that we wish were otherwise. Some people are short and wish they were taller. Some people are born with defects and wish they weren’t. Some people get cancer and have to deal with the truth of it. Some people mess up and suffer severe consequences because of it and then think, if only… But when something is permanent, it is what it is, and one must deal.

While we live in reality, sometimes it’s easier to pretend things aren’t what they are or try to deny something that one doesn’t want. My favorite line in any film is “Never underestimate the power of denial” – American Beauty. But I choose to try really hard to live in the here and now and in reality. Many times, it’s not the easiest or funnest, but I know inside it’s the right thing for me to do.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking lately about the fact that there are things about me that just are. Things I cannot change.  And when others have problems with one of these things, well… my attention gets drawn to it and I have to accept all over again that some things are beyond my control. And I like to be in control.

But then… I think…

Yes. It is what it is. Nothing is perfect. And what’s so wrong with that?