love

Countdown till Christmas – 5 days to go!

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Five days till Christmas! It’s about 75* degrees right now in Los Angeles, so it’s a bit difficult to feel the seasons change but I do live vicariously through east-coasters as I just heard my hometown of Buffalo has received eight inches of snow! (I may be more happy about that than they are though….)

I remember growing up there and my mom needing to scrape the ice that built on the car simply while we were shopping. Brrrrr……! But I digress….

Thinking of the season changes led me to thinking about Buffalo which led to me to thinking about my grandparents. I’m fortunate to have three of them still with me, two in their nineties and one close to it. I grew up knowing them well and I’ll forever be grateful that both sides chose to leave Sicily in the 1950s to come to America to give their children a better life.

As a first generation Italian American (Sicilian to be specific), I take pride in where I’m from and realize that America is a melting pot of immigrants from all over, which to me is a beautiful thing. There is a reason so many people want to be here and I do not take for granted for one day the freedom I have because of those before me who fought for it.

Today, in the spirit of love and being helpful, I decided to write hand-written letters to my grandparents in their native Italian language, which I am rusty at and would be nowhere without my Italian/American dictionary.

I know it’s a small thing but it’s the small things that make up the moments of our life and if I can put a smile I my grandparent’s face, then that’s a moment I want to create.

During this holiday season, why not make sure to take time to appreciate those in your life who helped shaped your family for the better? Send them a card. Give them a call. Tell them you love them. And make them smile.

#countdowntochristmas

Countdown till Christmas – 8 days to go!

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It’s interesting. I was supposed to do something today to help others but the reality is someone helped me and I thought, well… I’m going to write about that because it was just what I needed and it’s in the spirit of helpfulness and that’s exactly what this whole blog project is about….

It’s interesting the way the world works. And when the universe has a plan, I heed it.

A friend of mine reminded me today that there is positivity all around us and personal growth is one of the best things we can do for ourselves. This was the exact message I needed. I was feeling sorry for myself because my plans did not go as I had wanted. And as I was about to wallow in self pity, a friend of mine in so many words said, “hey, living and growing is a damn good day.” With that on my mind, I started to change my tune…

But wait, first –  what does that even mean – Personal growth? It sounds like a tag line at the end of a weight loss commercial, right? Or maybe a line for a radio jingle?

In all seriousness though, when I took a moment to stop and think about personal growth, I realized that growing is really the only option, because otherwise I’d be dying… (or stagnant at the very best…)

Bob Dylan once said (or sung, I’m not entirely sure), “He not busy being born is being dying.”

Have truer words been said/sung? As I thought about this, I begin to understand what Dylan meant. If we don’t grow, we wither.

Well…… Screw that.

I’m not gonna wither.

Think about it… Even if you mess up (no matter how bad), if you learn and grow, then you’re living!

Thank you, Chris. And thank you, Universe. I needed this message.

Though today did not turn out as I had expected… life swirled around me and bashed my plans to a pulp, and loved ones were still in my life and put a smile on my face and made me remember something Abraham Lincoln once said:

“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Life will continually throw us lemons. Perhaps not as “bad” as those in Lincoln’s day, but lemons nonetheless.

As my friend reminded me today though, there’s no reason not to take those lemons and turn them into fancy little tarts that put a smile on everyone’s face….

Eight days till Christmas…. oh my! what will we learn till then?!

Love IS The Answer

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The mass shooting of the LGBTQ community in Orlando, Florida, is deeply disturbing but it’s also indicative of the world we live in.

There can be no such thing as a utopia until there is no hate in the world and speaking realistically, is that ever possible when man has the choice to be both good and evil?

I don’t think so. Man is imperfect and we must deal with that.

The knee-jerk reaction is to take away guns, impose mass restrictions and preach love. But seriously, what good is that going to do? People who want to kill will find a way (the black market is probably better than the legal market) and hate does not listen to restrictions or preaching.

I think it’s fair to say that more often than not these horrific, senseless shootings are done out of anger and misguided religious beliefs. When one hears Christians claiming homosexuality is wrong simply because they believe it so and despite all evidence contrary, it’s enough to make you pull out your hair. When Muslims take their own lives ALONG WITH OTHERS in the name of their Koran, we try to fight fire with fire. When Scientologist’s force family members to shun their “non-believing” family members, one wonders how anyone can do that.

But religion is belief and there is no arguing with it as it is not rooted in fact.

Personally, I’m agnostic. But I can’t imagine any God wanting someone to hurt another simply because they’re different.

Why are people so fearful of differences?

Why can’t we all live together in peace?

What were those club-goers doing that made this killer so angry? Why are so many people so angry at others who disagree with them but cause them no injury?

Why are so many people unhappy?

Perhaps if we stopped paying attention to pop culture and turned to philosophy, we could start to learn how to live together in peace….

This is a people problem, not a regulation problem.

#loveistheanswer #natureisreligion

 

This Is Marriage.

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I’ve been having this reoccurring dream. Nightmare actually.

The dream is me finding out my husband is not going to marry me. Well, in the dream we are still dating and I learn he’s changed his mind and I am utterly and totally devastated. I wake up with a feeling that I never want to experience in real life. It’s scary.

I’ve been married six months now and it’s by far the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I thank the universe that I found the love of my life. Sure, it took me thirty-five years but then, there’s no age limit to finding love. Yeah, I guess there are consequences (perhaps no children, maybe lots of loneliness) but once The One is found, the wait proves to be well worth it. But I digress…

In that six months, I’ve had this dream about three or four times.

I should confess that I don’t handle lack of control well. And opening up myself to someone else, trusting them, loving them, is very scary. Maybe not for you, but it is for me.

I had this dream a few nights ago. And I woke up from it feeling that devastation yet again.

But as I came out of this hurtful slumber, I heard a voice say, “Morning baby.”

So I opened my eyes and said, “I just had the worst dream ever. I dreamt you didn’t want to marry me.”

My husband then turned to me and replied, “That’s funny because I was actually lying here, wanting to hug you so bad but worried I was going to wake you.”

And a smile spread across my face.

That is marriage.

Making your partner feel stronger just by being you.

#holdoutfortheone

 

 

25 Days of Spreading Love: Reflections

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Thank you to all who read my posts and followed along as I counted down the days until Christmas while trying to spread love in the world. (The original blog post can be found here.)

I feel very fortunate to have love in my life and I want to make more of an effort to share that. And this project has helped me to do that.

Over the course of twenty five days (well, the twenty-fifth day was Christmas!) I found ways to spread love and by doing that, it became part of my day. Once the project stopped, I didn’t make such a conscious effort any longer, though it was something that had seeped into my brain and made me think of it daily and for me, that was something I was hoping it would do. Repetition… There is something to be said about the simplicity of its effectiveness.

I also learned a few other things that I thought I’d share with my readers…

Saturdays are a popular day to read blogs (at least mine…)

Love is a universal message.

Self-discipline makes things happen.

I can actually write everyday.

Never judge anything on appearance alone.

Love is your engine. It moves you. It stops you. It propels you to new heights. It sinks you to great depths. It gives you momentum to go on.

I can make a difference.

Thank you to all who supported this project and myself. I hope you consider joining me this coming week as I launch a new project… Stay tuned!!

25 Days of Spreading Love – A countdown to Christmas: Dec. 24

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For the original idea, please go here.

1 Day till Christmas – spreading love by being with my family

In honor of the holiday this entire blog project has been written around, I chose to spread the love today but spending time with my family on Christmas Eve.

Thank you for coming along for the ride with me as I counted down the days till Christmas by spreading love in the world.

From my house to yours, Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

25 Days of Spreading Love – A countdown to Christmas: Dec. 23

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For the original idea, please go here.

2 Days till Christmas – spreading love by participating in a potluck

At work today, there was a potluck family meal. We were invited to bring whatever we wanted to share with our co-workers.

Typically, I would grab something real quick on my way and be done with it. Potlucks have never been my favorite thing.

But  not today. In an effort to spread love (and food is a wonderful way to do that!), I chose to take the time to prepare a dish. I even looked up potluck recipes from which I selected a three-bean salad.

It was interesting to see what people brought. And it was fun to try things I’ve never tried before. It was also very delicious to have so many dessert options, not to mention these little unbelievable meringues!

Overall, the potluck ended up being good food, good company and a good time.

“Food is our common ground, a universal experience.”
-James Beard

Spread the love. #spreadthelove

 

 

25 Days of Spreading Love – A countdown to Christmas: Dec. 22

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For the original idea, please go here.

3 Days till Christmas – spreading love by spending time with one of my oldest friends

And by oldest, I don’t mean age. I mean length of time of friendship.

There are a couple girls whom I’ve known since my college days that have remained a constant in my life. And while we don’t see each other all that often (living in different cities), it never matters. It’s quality over quantity. And as soon as we’re in the same room again, it’s like time hasn’t moved and we can pick up right where we left off.

I cherish this not only because it’s rare but because it’s valuable to me. A friendship that has spanned over the course of twenty years is not something to take lightly. It’s something to be appreciated for what it is.

And tonight, I was given the opportunity to show my love and appreciation for one of my oldest friends. We’ve known each other for twenty years and have seen each other at our worsts and bests. And I adore her.

She’s in town for the holidays and graciously made time to come visit me.

Tonight, I made her dinner. As she looked through my wedding photos, we chatted about our lives and the direction they’ve gone. She caught up with my husband. And as we ate cheese ravioli with a vodka cream sauce, we reminisced about days gone and spoke of our plans for the future.

Spending time with old friends is a most lovely way to spread love. And I highly recommend it.

“The only way to have a friend is to be one.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Spread the love. #spreadthelove

 

 

25 Days of Spreading Love – A countdown to Christmas: Dec. 21

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For the original idea, please go here.

4 Days till Christmas – spreading love by showing my appreciation

My husband and I do a lot of shipping for both business and personal needs. And we use the USPS for much of it, though we try to conduct the bulk of our transactions online because, well… come on. Have you been inside a post office lately? Those lines move slow…

But our postman does not. He is always helpful, always willing to climb up the stairs to our place to drop off a package or pick some up and he always has a smile on his face. When we came back from our honeymoon, our postman had our mail all ready for us, making the whole “hold mail” process seamless.

I believe acknowledgment of someone doing a good job will show that person that their efforts have not gone unnoticed and are in fact greatly appreciated. So, in an effort to appreciate the hard work our postman does, my husband and I decided to spread the love by giving him a Christmas gift. We picked up a Target gift card and wrote him a Thank You/Christmas card that we’ll hand deliver as soon as we see him.

“The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness.”
-Dalai Lama

Spread the love. #spreadthelove

 

25 Days of Spreading Love – A countdown to Christmas: Dec. 19

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For the original idea, please go here.

6 Days till Christmas – spreading love by making my nephews smile

As I’ve asked before, is there anything better than seeing a child smile and hearing them laugh?

I really don’t think so. It’s a beautiful thing when a child is genuinely happy.

Not only are children the future, but adults are too because it’s their job to help children to have as great of lives as possible. Of course, I don’t mean there aren’t going to be days of tears and discipline but I do mean that the love and care we give them will guide them as they learn and grow.

By choice, I don’t have children of my own unless you count my films (which I do), but I do take my role in children’s lives very seriously, whether it be as their aunt or godmother or simply as an adult figure.

Today, to spread love, I decided to spend the afternoon with my nephews. While this is a common thing I do, it doesn’t make it any less special and it’s one of the most important ways I choose to spread love.

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”
– James Arthur Baldwin