family

Road Tripping Day 13

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The last destination on our east coast road trip was Toronto, Canada.

On the two-hour drive to get there from Buffalo, my husband and I reflected on the wonderful trip we’d just experienced over the past twelve days.

And a big thank you to all who have come along for the ride. It’s been fun going through it with readers and participants :)

Toronto is not entirely new to me. Growing up in Buffalo, Canada wasn’t really another country. It was the city next door. It was Niagara Falls. (Yes, the Canadian side gives the best views. BUT the Buffalo side gives a great sight of the rapids, unlike anything other. And it’s still America, so you don’t have to deal with going through the border. (It’s the getting back through the American side that has become a pain in the ass. I felt like I was being interrogated, but I digress…)

We live in a different world from the days of my childhood when my dad would pay fifty cents and go in and out of Canada with little effort. Terrorism is suspect though and America does not mess around. TSA even took the jar of Georgia peach jam I got for my mother. Sad… I felt invaded when they went through my whole bag and undid the great packing job I had strategized over but don’t get me started.

Toronto was fun and the view from the C & N building was no joke. 181 floors up. And there was a lightning storm happening while we strolled around as our ears popped. My husband was bummed a bit that the outer walkway was closed but to be honest, I was fine with staying behind the glass. (Please excuse the rain drops on the shot above; I tried my best.)

It was a wonderful way to close our two-week road trip, which started in Central Florida and ended in Toronto, Canada.

Tomorrow will be my last post for my road tripping series. Stay tuned as I list observations from the trip as a whole….

#roadtripping

 

 

 

 

 

Road Tripping Day 11 & 12

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I don’t want this feeling to end. I wish I could wrap it up and keep it in a little box so whenever I want it back, I could have it in a moment’s notice.

La Familia.

Growing up in a Sicilian household, the importance of family was instilled in me from the day I was born. I learned early on to have respect for one’s family and culture. To this day, my mother makes sauce on Sundays and speaks Sicilian to her parents. And yes, I too now make this sauce but no, not every Sunday. Many of those days, I’m at my folks.

The reason for the silence on my blog the past two days is that I literally did not have one moment to formulate my thoughts because I filled every second with family while in my birth town of Buffalo, NY. I was so blown away by the amount of love and respect and joy that swirled around me in the past forty-eight hours that I didn’t want to mess with it one bit (which I believed I’d have to do to write this post.)

In some ways, my Aunt J has always felt like a second mother. This says a lot because I am not truly comfortable with most people. But the relationship we formed when I was 0 – 10 stuck and despite great distance, I feel at home with her. Her children, my first cousins have been everything to me. Best friends. Family. A godson. And being back with them this weekend made it seem like no time or distance had passed between us. Talks were deep and beautiful and funny and wine-filled and lovely and special and so many more adjectives but I’ll stop…

In short, it was magical. And I didn’t want the feeling to end.

It was a ride and I’m already sad to be off but here’s a sneak peek of it:

The long way there. Hehe but we made it! Smiles, love, warmth, family, childhood. Grandparents. Love. Remembering the past while mixing it with the future. Intro’s to my husband. Tons of intros! Beautiful children, like the one’s we once were. Family. Love. Party time! Hands moving. Mouths going. Good times had by all. Smiles on a ninety-six year old. Family. Love. Niagara Falls! Majestic. Good food. Laughs. Pictures. Water. Lots and lots of water. Wings and pizza. Final dinner. Great times! Laughs galore. Family. Love. Tour of old hood. Husband. My love. My life. Late night chats. Early morning chats. Family. Love.

Till tomorrow…

#roadtripping

La vita non è giusta (Life is not fair)

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My father told me a story many years ago about his father and I channel it every time I feel dejected.

Only my father can tell this story appropriately, but I will try to do it justice in honor of my grandfather, may he rest in peace.

One afternoon, my eighteen-year old father found himself spilling out all the ways the world had wronged him to his own father, a Sicilian hard-working immigrant. He told his tales of woe as my grandfather smoked his cigarette and listened. After my father was done expressing his suffering, my grandfather looked at him, inhaled a long drag from his cigarette and said to his son,

“La vita non è giusta.”

Life is not fair.

Those seemingly simple words have stayed with me from the moment my father told me this story.

Life is not fair.

My latest film has been rejected from fourteen film festivals so far. I’m 0-14. It’s out to dozens of others but no filmmaker likes to read the oh-so-generic “rejection” letters. They start to get me down. I start to question things – Do I think this film should be screened? Did I do the best job I could? Is it as honest as possible? Should people see it? Does it have something to say that is worth hearing? ………

But then, amid that noise, I hear my grandfather’s voice…

La vita non è giusta.

He’s right. It isn’t.

But so be it. What am I gonna do – cry about it or try to fight for what I want?

Today, as I was thinking about how hard it is to get screening time at festivals, I saw a little slice of nature that reminded me growth was possible despite the odds.

And so, to my friend in the picture above, my father and my grandfather, I thank you. You keep me going…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Countdown till Christmas – 5 days to go!

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Five days till Christmas! It’s about 75* degrees right now in Los Angeles, so it’s a bit difficult to feel the seasons change but I do live vicariously through east-coasters as I just heard my hometown of Buffalo has received eight inches of snow! (I may be more happy about that than they are though….)

I remember growing up there and my mom needing to scrape the ice that built on the car simply while we were shopping. Brrrrr……! But I digress….

Thinking of the season changes led me to thinking about Buffalo which led to me to thinking about my grandparents. I’m fortunate to have three of them still with me, two in their nineties and one close to it. I grew up knowing them well and I’ll forever be grateful that both sides chose to leave Sicily in the 1950s to come to America to give their children a better life.

As a first generation Italian American (Sicilian to be specific), I take pride in where I’m from and realize that America is a melting pot of immigrants from all over, which to me is a beautiful thing. There is a reason so many people want to be here and I do not take for granted for one day the freedom I have because of those before me who fought for it.

Today, in the spirit of love and being helpful, I decided to write hand-written letters to my grandparents in their native Italian language, which I am rusty at and would be nowhere without my Italian/American dictionary.

I know it’s a small thing but it’s the small things that make up the moments of our life and if I can put a smile I my grandparent’s face, then that’s a moment I want to create.

During this holiday season, why not make sure to take time to appreciate those in your life who helped shaped your family for the better? Send them a card. Give them a call. Tell them you love them. And make them smile.

#countdowntochristmas

25 Days of Spreading Love – A countdown to Christmas: Dec. 24

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For the original idea, please go here.

1 Day till Christmas – spreading love by being with my family

In honor of the holiday this entire blog project has been written around, I chose to spread the love today but spending time with my family on Christmas Eve.

Thank you for coming along for the ride with me as I counted down the days till Christmas by spreading love in the world.

From my house to yours, Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

25 Days of Spreading Love – A countdown to Christmas: Dec. 19

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For the original idea, please go here.

6 Days till Christmas – spreading love by making my nephews smile

As I’ve asked before, is there anything better than seeing a child smile and hearing them laugh?

I really don’t think so. It’s a beautiful thing when a child is genuinely happy.

Not only are children the future, but adults are too because it’s their job to help children to have as great of lives as possible. Of course, I don’t mean there aren’t going to be days of tears and discipline but I do mean that the love and care we give them will guide them as they learn and grow.

By choice, I don’t have children of my own unless you count my films (which I do), but I do take my role in children’s lives very seriously, whether it be as their aunt or godmother or simply as an adult figure.

Today, to spread love, I decided to spend the afternoon with my nephews. While this is a common thing I do, it doesn’t make it any less special and it’s one of the most important ways I choose to spread love.

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”
– James Arthur Baldwin

25 Days of Spreading Love – A countdown to Christmas: Dec. 17

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For the original idea, please go here.

8 Days till Christmas – spreading love by being there for someone

Today, as I was thinking about a way to spread the love, a way found me.

I knew someone I loved was not feeling very well but had commitments that were very important. I offered to help but she declined needing any. I offered again, letting her know that if she did need any, she should call me. She said thank you but she would be okay.

A little later, she did call and she asked for my help. Without hesitation, I stopped what I was doing (fortunately, I was working from home today and could), jumped in my car, dealt with traffic and made it to her.

It felt good to be there for someone who needed me.

Days go by fast and it’s easy to get caught up in one’s own life. But I realized today, a wonderful way to spread love is to be in the moment and pay attention to those you care for so you can notice if they need help and then let them know you’re there to offer it.

Had I not let my loved one know I was there to help, I wonder if she would have called. I guess I’ll never know but I sure am glad I was paying attention…

Spread the love. #spreadthelove

25 Days of Spreading Love – A countdown to Christmas: Dec. 8

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For the original idea, please go here.

17 Days till Christmas – spreading love by calling my grandparents

I grew up as a first generation American in a Sicilian immigrant family. And some of my fondest childhood memories are of being at my grandparent’s house.

They not only loved me (and my siblings and cousins) immensely but also kept our cultural heritage alive and well.

From the backyard vegetable garden to the passed-down sauce recipe. From the family gatherings to the black and white photos of coming to America by ship. My grandparents helped in making me appreciate where I come from.

I try to appreciate them and stay connected but sometimes, I fail.

For today, I chose to spread the love by picking up the phone and calling my grandparents. They were pleasantly surprised. My grandmother and I chatted for over twenty minutes, catching up and swapping memories. It was absolutely wonderful. I even made her laugh a few times.

Sure, the world moves fast. And yes, there are only so many hours in the day. But shouldn’t calling (and visiting) loved ones be a part of it?

Spread the love. #spreadthelove

25 Days of Spreading Love – A countdown to Christmas: Dec. 4

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For the original idea, please go here.

21 Days till Christmas – spreading love with holiday cheer

For our first Christmas as a married couple, my husband and I decided to upgrade our Christmas tree. Instead of the grocery store three-footer we normally get, we drove to a lot and picked out a grown up tree. We went to one that was run by a Kiwanis Club, an organization that helps its local community, and all the proceeds go to charity.

Holiday cheer may seem simple. And it can mean different things to different people, depending on the holiday one is celebrating. To some, its purpose may be religious. To others, it’s a frivolous affair. And even to others, it’s a time to eat good food and be around people they love.

Whatever the reason, holidays have a way of bringing people together and well, isn’t that a beautiful thing?

So this year, my husband and I went all out. We strung lights, hung decorations, made gingerbread cookies and are now about to retire to bed to watch Chevy Chase flex his hilarious holiday muscles as he takes us on a vacation…

Happy Holidays!!

Spread the love. #spreadthelove

Other people

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Something has been on my mind lately. Perhaps you can relate, perhaps you can’t but I’ve found that other people sometimes get upset with me because I’m not who they want me to be. Whether it be a friend who wants me to be more available or a family member who would rather me agree with them even if I don’t.

One of my favorite existential philosophers, Jean-Paul Sartre, is famously quoted as saying “hell is other people.”

Sometimes I wonder, is it?

Now, I’ll admit that in my twenties I was so self-absorbed I couldn’t care less if I upset someone. I always thought it was their problem and they could go to hell but thankfully, I evolved beyond that stupid point of view as I got older (with much thanks to philosophy and my parents!) And now, I live the life I want but always strive to be as respectful and honest with others as possible. I figure that as long as I am those two things, how much more can others ask of me?

Well, you’d be surprised. I’ve had friends get upset because I have to work. A lot. And therefore am not available to hang out very often. I’ve had acquaintances “de-friend” me from Facebook because they couldn’t handle me thinking differently than themselves. I’ve had bosses actually not appreciate my hard work and rather, treat me like I have a problem for simply wanting things done right. I’ve even, swear to God, have had people get down-right angry with me because I lack in pop culture knowledge and have no idea what they’re talking about. No shit.

I’m not perfect. And I’m not trying to pretend I am but damn, sometimes I feel like just yelling out, “Why can’t I just be me?!” Being a filmmaker who supports herself with two other jobs, time is greatly limited for me. I sometimes don’t turn a tv on for months and yes, I prefer things to be done efficiently because why they hell would one not? And recently, I’ve met the man I want to be with and also have became an aunt to two beautiful nephews so not only am I very selective in how I spend my time, I don’t have much to spare.

That said, I truly believe great beauty lies in the connection between human beings and the relationships we have with one another. Quality has always trumped quantity in my book. So I must ask, when another starts to demand something of you or get upset for what you lack that they wish you didn’t, what grounds are they doing so on? What’s so wrong with being different if you don’t impose it upon another and force them to be that way? Why do we not celebrate our differences rather than get angry about them (unless of course force is used and then, that’s a whole other ballgame…)?

Well… I don’t have all the answers but after much deliberation and observation, I’ve come to a conclusion.

The happier you are with yourself, the more you back off at being angry with others…