restaurants

Going Solo

/ christinaparisi / Leave a comment

I am someone who loves alone time. I have never had a problem occupying myself and in fact, I down right enjoy my own company. I believe people need time to themselves, or perhaps that’s just me, but I also think it’s good to get out in the world and do things alone, without others you know. Is there not a correlation between confidence and the ability to be and act alone?

Today, I decided to test this a bit. I went into a local Mexican restaurant to have dinner, all by myself. This is something I have done before but not something I do terribly often. It takes a completely secure person to be able to do it and I like testing myself. It forces me to leave my head and partake in the world around me without the comfort blanket of a companion. It teaches me to stand on my own two feet around anyone and also to embrace the solitude of being a human amongst other humans.

So, today, I walked into a Mexican restaurant near my home and sat at the bar alone. Lo and behold, the place was having an amazing happy hour so I ordered a glass of their house Pinot Noir and proceeded to look over the menu before deciding on a chicken quesadilla and taco. I took out my phone to check messages and emails but the gentleman next to me started talking about the restaurant’s great margaritas. I don’t like tequila, and told him that, so he dropped it and moved on to talking about the election tomorrow. I told him I had worked on Ron Paul’s campaign and am a Libertarian more than anything else, letting him know I don’t like either candidate. He expressed his respect for Ron Paul, (something many people do in a way I have yet to see anyone do for any another candidate!) and then he moved on to talking about why he’s going to vote for Obama. Some other patrons at the bar started talking about the measure that’s up for vote for porn stars, to implement mandatory permits for testing and such. It became an interesting conversation and I was enjoying myself. I learned the gentleman sitting next to me was a scientist who went to MIT and had actually invented some method to convert energy into light for wireless communication.  By the end of my meal and conversation, I had given my card to a potential film investor, who had asked for it after I asked if he would ever be interested in financing a film.

All in all, it was a great dinner “alone”. Try it sometime. You never know what could happen…

Change is good. Efficiency is better.

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I generally like change. I lived in five different places in the five years I was in college. I’ve chosen jobs that regularly offer variety – filmmaking, script reading and waiting tables. I don’t settle when I date. I’ll typically always try something once and when I feel stagnate, I’ll take the necessary steps to stop it.

But then, on the flip-side, I’ve noticed that when I find something that works, I’ll be very hesitant to make change. And I wonder, is that a good thing or not? Well, stay with me for a second and I’ll answer that but first, a brief story…

I was waiting tables at a restaurant part-time for some lunch shifts for the past six years. It fit my schedule, I liked the people there and it was comfortable. I knew what to expect and it worked in my life. I never really re-evaluated though if this was truly the best place for me to be. But then, forces of nature beyond my control made me re-evaluate what I wanted. I was laid off with practically no notice and so change was thrust upon me.

Now I actually like working in restaurants. I love food and wine. I love the atmosphere. I love the whole idea of people meeting and talking over food and having good conversation. I’m Italian, it’s part of our culture. I love innovation and creativity in the food and work space and basically, I feel at home in restaurants. But in hindsight, while I loved my last job, it wasn’t the most efficient choice I could have made for myself. It worked though so it was easy to stay.

But then, when I found myself in the position of having no choice but to leave it, while I wasn’t thrilled initially, I started to realize it wasn’t such a bad thing.

Change is great and I liked the idea of making a change but I didn’t want to make a change just for the sake of change. I needed more than that.

And that’s when I realized, change is good. But efficiency is better.

When I decided I could have been using my time in a much more positive way for my life, this forced change became one of the best things that could have happened to me. I started writing more and looking for a new restaurant that would better fit my wants and needs. And now here I am, three months later with a children’s book written and new employment that is beyond exciting and challenging and thoroughly inspiring.

Though I like change, I was never prompted to make it because my life worked. Perhaps though, a good way to think about change is not just simply asking oneself if change is needed but rather asking if change will bring more efficiency to your life. And just to be clear, efficiency means (thanks to my beloved Apple dictionary) “achieving maximum productivity with minimum wasted effort or expense, working in a well-organized and competent way.”

So go ahead and ask yourself – would change make my life more efficient?

If the answer is yes, perhaps you may want to make a change. For me, I’ve now found…

Change is good, but Efficiency is better.

Connection

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To supplement my income until filmmaking brings in the dough, I work as a reader and part-time lunch server. A couple of months ago, I was laid off from the serving job I had worked at for about six years. I primarily worked Mon thru Wed lunches and not only did I have these same shifts since I started, but I rarely deviated from them.

The math tells a story. For six years, serving the same three lunch shifts week in and week out, one can only guess how many people I’ve met in terms of this job only. I think a number in the mid thousands is a fair estimate, yes? With that number in mind, think about how some of those people were regulars, meaning they came in on a weekly or bi-weekly basis, and how those same people could start to become more to me than simply another human I was serving.

Well, for the first time for me as a server (and I’ve served on and off for about fifteen years), this happened. I thought about it today and realized something about these people. Can’t say we were friends but hard to say we weren’t. Can’t really say I thought much about them outside of work but while with them there, conversation flowed and carried over to next time. Can’t say I wanted to see them all the time but after two months, I do miss them. This may not be the typical relationship I have with people in my life, but I can say something for sure.

With many of my regular customers, I’d be lying if I said them all, I felt a connection.

Perhaps it was just being in the same place at the same time, over and over again, but is it not a connection nonetheless? For some, this may be the UPS guy who comes into your office everyday or the sandwich shop girl who makes your meal the moment she sees you coming. These connections, while seemingly random and lacking in depth, can be very real and meaningful.

So this blog is dedicated to those connections I made while at my last job. Due to circumstances outside my control, I was unable to say goodbye to most of them and they went from being in my life for years to being someone I’ll probably never see or talk to again, unless our paths just happen to cross… And while this is what it is, and life will go on and I’ll likely forget many of these people, the connection we shared will always exist and just maybe, we’re all the better for it.

I think I am.

So Cheers!

to the pretty lady who sat at the counter, ordered quickly and treated everyone with respect and a smile;
to the silent businessman who appreciated good service and being left alone;
to the adorable senior citizen couple who were both sharp, witty and kind;
to the vendor who came in for a pulled pork sandwich every now and then and told us about his poker games;
to the couple who were outside the door exactly at open so they could get the booth;
to the business lady who kept to herself but let you know she appreciated you remembering her order;
to the lawyer who became part of our restaurant family;
to the outspoken Italian who still came in after the passing of his dear significant other:
to the woman who was his significant other, who had become my friend before she left us, RIP Andy;
to the group of guys who came in, ate quick and made you laugh;
to the owners of the building the restaurant was in, who were cool and respectful;
and to the guy who came in for the same to-go and always made a point to say hello.

Some rules are made to be broken.

/ christinaparisi / 2 Comments

A couple of days ago, I walked into a restaurant with the boy who I’m dating. When the host seated us, my date asked if we could have a table where we could sit next to each other rather than across from each other.

I paused.

Hold the phone.

First, allow me to explain. I’m an ex-server. I’ve waited tables for more years than the average three-year old can count up to and therefore, I know the rules of serving. And one of them, which most servers would back me on in a heartbeat is this: sit where the host seats you and don’t ask for a table with more chairs than your party is going to sit in.

Dilemma though.

Truth is, I wanted to sit next to him. Plain and simple. So I glanced around and saw there were several open tables and so I justified it in my head. But this got me thinking about rules. Are some to be broken? Or do we break them only when it’s convenient to us?

Well, I decided this. Considering it was nice to sit near him, that I want to do it again and that I liked how he asked for a table in which we could do so, I figure some rules are meant to be broken.

BUT

I am now taking that one off my server rules list. Let couples sit near each other! I will never again roll my eyes at the thought, even if they take up my four top.

A night at the restaurant

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As a filmmaker who is not able to fully support herself from just filmmaking, I work at two other jobs. I’m a reader for a production company and also a server at a bistro, where I work a few lunch shifts a week. But on occasion, I will work a dinner shift to help either my boss or another server and this past weekend, I did just that. One of the things I like about serving is that it offers a wonderful opportunity to people watch and observe human behavior. And that night, I noticed some things, perhaps more so than normal because I wasn’t used to the atmosphere, and I began making a mental list. I later thought, hell, I’ll share these in my blog. So…

Observations from a night at a restaurant:

1. I am not alone in talking with hands. A LOT of people do this.

2. Yes, stereotypes exist but cannot be applied across the board and it’s a wonderful thing to see them be proven wrong.

3. Wine is the drink of choice over dinner for many, red more than white.

4. Hungry people can be scary.

5. Food brings people together.

6. I’m incredibly fortunate to work at such a great restaurant, that actually has great owners who genuinely care about their employees and guests. With all the serving jobs I’ve had in my life, and I’ve had MANY, I can easily say that this one by far takes the prize as THE BEST.

7. It’s never good when one tries to be funny and they’re the only one laughing. Please do your server a favor and don’t put on a show for them. If you’re naturally funny, it will come out without trying so hard.

8. It’s lovely to see people truly enjoying each others company. It’s depressing to see people forcing it.

9. There’s an awesome energy after the last customer leaves for the night and the staff can let their hair down.