What we talk about when we talk about love

The other day, a friend asked me if I had been to Sicily, the place where my parents were born and the root of my culture. I said “no, not yet” and it made me think of something…

First, a little background.

My husband is not from the state we live in. While I have my immediate family here and have had a life in Los Angeles for the past thirty years, my husband has not. His family and friends are on the east coast but his passion for music and the Pacific Ocean led him out west. (Thankfully!)

A little over a year into our relationship, we decided to step things up a notch. We moved in together. And we wanted me to meet his parents. At that time, roundtrip flights to Orlando were going to cost us nearly a thousand dollars. Having just moved in together and needing to pay for a few surprise expenses like car work and dental bills, we did not have an extra thousand to spend.

A little more background.

I am Sicilian, as most my readers know, and going to Sicily has been on my goal list for as long as I can remember. I have a ton of family there and when I was single, I was planning to go visit there for a month. I had been saving up my frequent flier miles for a round trip ticket for almost a decade.

Then, I met my husband and though I was able to take the trip for the first time in my life, I had postponed it because I wanted to get to know him and felt like something magical was happening.

It was indeed and flash forward back to where we were… moved in and wanting to go to Florida so I could meet his parents but lacking in the funds department.

I went online and looked up how many miles I would need for two round trip tickets to Orlando. It was the exact amount for my Sicilian trip.

Though this even surprised myself, I immediately offered them to be used to fly to Florida. My husband insisted I not give up my trip but I was steadfast on the idea and ultimately, he accepted the gift.

We went to Florida and had the most wonderful of trips. His parents were an absolute pleasure and welcomed me in with open arms, thrilled to see their son and I in love.

I had zero regrets on using those miles. And that’s when I realized I was deeply in love with him and my priorities had shifted. Though Sicily is extremely high on my list, he’s higher.

Six months later, my husband’s father fell ill and passed away.

And that was when I realized those miles were never meant for Sicily.

Countdown till Christmas – 5 days to go!

Five days till Christmas! It’s about 75* degrees right now in Los Angeles, so it’s a bit difficult to feel the seasons change but I do live vicariously through east-coasters as I just heard my hometown of Buffalo has received eight inches of snow! (I may be more happy about that than they are though….)

I remember growing up there and my mom needing to scrape the ice that built on the car simply while we were shopping. Brrrrr……! But I digress….

Thinking of the season changes led me to thinking about Buffalo which led to me to thinking about my grandparents. I’m fortunate to have three of them still with me, two in their nineties and one close to it. I grew up knowing them well and I’ll forever be grateful that both sides chose to leave Sicily in the 1950s to come to America to give their children a better life.

As a first generation Italian American (Sicilian to be specific), I take pride in where I’m from and realize that America is a melting pot of immigrants from all over, which to me is a beautiful thing. There is a reason so many people want to be here and I do not take for granted for one day the freedom I have because of those before me who fought for it.

Today, in the spirit of love and being helpful, I decided to write hand-written letters to my grandparents in their native Italian language, which I am rusty at and would be nowhere without my Italian/American dictionary.

I know it’s a small thing but it’s the small things that make up the moments of our life and if I can put a smile I my grandparent’s face, then that’s a moment I want to create.

During this holiday season, why not make sure to take time to appreciate those in your life who helped shaped your family for the better? Send them a card. Give them a call. Tell them you love them. And make them smile.

#countdowntochristmas

25 Days of Spreading Love – A countdown to Christmas: Dec. 19

For the original idea, please go here.

6 Days till Christmas – spreading love by making my nephews smile

As I’ve asked before, is there anything better than seeing a child smile and hearing them laugh?

I really don’t think so. It’s a beautiful thing when a child is genuinely happy.

Not only are children the future, but adults are too because it’s their job to help children to have as great of lives as possible. Of course, I don’t mean there aren’t going to be days of tears and discipline but I do mean that the love and care we give them will guide them as they learn and grow.

By choice, I don’t have children of my own unless you count my films (which I do), but I do take my role in children’s lives very seriously, whether it be as their aunt or godmother or simply as an adult figure.

Today, to spread love, I decided to spend the afternoon with my nephews. While this is a common thing I do, it doesn’t make it any less special and it’s one of the most important ways I choose to spread love.

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”
– James Arthur Baldwin