family

My Little Buddy In The Age Of The Coronavirus

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Having been laid off from my job while the world pauses, I’ve found some extra time on my hands. And in an effort to help my family, I’ve begun to aid in the homeschooling of my eight-year-old nephew.

Now, my nephew and I were already close. I’ve been watching him since practically the day he was born and over the years, we’ve developed a special bond. When I enter my brother’s home, my nephew is the first to great me with a huge smile and a loud, “Hi Aunt Tina! Come play!” or “Hi Aunt Tina! Come look at this!”

And while I am 42 years old, there is a young 10-year-old girl in me who loves to play and have fun. Seriously. I’m a champ at Nerf gun battles, hide ‘n find (a take off from the original hide ‘n seek, which my nephews and I made up,) coloring, board games (especially Battleship!) and soon, if my nephews have it their way, video games.

But back to the beginning. I’ve been helping homeschool. And I must say, TEACHERS, YOU ARE GODS. Thank you soooooooooooooooo much for what you do. You help the future way more than any Congressman/woman and should be paid accordingly. And they patience you must have! I am in awe.

So, yeah. I’ve been helping with homeschool and also babysitting more than normal and because of this, an 8 year old has become my new little buddy.

When I told him he could call me whenever he wanted, I began to wake up to text and phone messages asking if I wanted to play Roblox remotely – me on my phone, him at his home while we chat over FaceTime. He made sure to install it on my phone on a visit  and then proceeded to give me a tutorial. When I struggled, he said, “Aunt Tina, do you know what patience is?” I smiled and said, “Yes, I do” to which he replied, “Well, then you just have to have it.”

Words of wisdom right there.

When we finish our school lessons, he asks how much time I can stay to hang out. We are currently watching the first season of Clone Wars, which is very well done btw, and also love to go outside and plant flowers in the backyard and fill our bird house with birdseed and more. His smile brightens my day.

And the last time I was with him, I was doing laundry and he opted to stop playing and join me, just to chat. He told me about his best friend at school and how they get in trouble and the big spider he saw the other day in the backyard, that had hair!

I will miss these days when all goes back to “normal” but I’m happy to know enough to cherish them as they are happening.

To see a big smile on an eight year old’s face is to witness real happiness.

To receive a hug from a child without asking for one is to know real affection.

To make a child happy and comfortable by embracing who they are is to teach real confidence.

To have a child call upon you because they consider you important is to understand the essential.

And to wake up to a phone message from your nephew asking where you are and if you want to come over and you alter your day to do so is to experience real love.

Thank you Fair Bear (my nickname for him,) for all you are and all you teach.

 

 

 

 

Wednesday Wonders… 5 Ways We Are Changing For The Better From The Coronavirus…

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My past few posts have been a bit depressing so I thought for this one I’d write about the ways I am seeing the world change for the better, due to the pandemic at hand.

Sure, we could argue till we’re blue in the face about how this all started, how governments are responding, how people are acting, but seriously, what good would arguing do?

“Love is saying ‘I feel differently’ instead of ‘You’re wrong.’” – Unknown

And as someone who loves difference of opinions because it’s the best way to learn, I am going to ignore that noise and focus instead on some good things I’ve noticed come out of the #coronavirus and well, that’s something to shine a spotlight on, isn’t it?

5 Ways we are changing for the better

We’re so damn clean.
Anyone else notice how sanitized people and things are getting? I mean, how can that be a bad thing? Hand washing and covering your mouth when you sneeze and not breathing on top of people… all wonderful traits that are getting instilled in people as they become routine.

The pause leads to thought.
In a weird way, the world is pausing. The wheels have largely stopped and because of that, what was once the norm is now anything but. We’ve been forced to find a new norm with stay-at-home orders and loss of employment among other things. But with these new limitations, we are led right to an important aspect of our life. Our HOME. If it’s your temple, you’ll take comfort in your design. But if on the flip side, you don’t like what you find, well… isn’t that in itself a gift because now, you see it as it is and can do something about it? When one is busy, it’s way too easy to ignore important things.

We’re learning what’s essential.
By definition, essential means what is absolutely necessary. And we are learning what that is! In a world filled of an abundance of distraction, eye candy and material goods, this lesson is not one to be taken for granted. It’s a gift to be able to stop, see what one really needs, and then progress from there to form a healthier state of being. And isn’t it interesting to find out what you do really need, when all bling and glitz and distraction is removed?

Gaining awareness of what teacher’s do and how grossly underpaid they are.
Full disclosure, I have no children by choice. But I am seeing those who do have children, are getting a big taste of what teachers actually do and how incredibly challenging it is to teach children. Perhaps now people will think about where state money should go (not with words, but with actual action and legislation) as the importance of this position has been elevated and revealed for all to witness. Education does not have pharmaceutical lobbyists but imagine if it did….

Letting nature breathe.
Sadly, it had to be forced upon us by a global virus, but a ray of light through this storm is the fact nature has been allowed to do as she would without our massive intervention. The environment is not infinite, despite what the 1980s/90s thought. And allowing it a chance to reset, enjoy itself without our intrusion and just breathe a sigh of relief to be allowed to do so, is perhaps the very best gift this pandemic has given us. Has given the world. And well, that’s pretty damn good.

What positive observations have you observed? #coronavirus

 

Monday Moments – Coronavirus

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This will be one of my free flowing posts – for those who are new to my blog, I sometimes write in stream of consciousness – as I attempt to capture what the heck is going on….

It started as a virus China was struggling to contain. soon though, it spread like a racehorse around the globe, catching many by surprise. toilet paper seemed to be the hot commodity for some unknown reason. shouldn’t it be food? schools began to close, jobs were lost (i was one of them.) warnings abound. social media blew up. why does everyone think they are experts when it’s clear they haven’t even researched what they’re arguing? this event gives an excuse to release anger. that is what scares me the most, more than getting this virus. we can battle back and forth about what should or shouldn’t be done but what good will that do unless you are in a position to do something? is anyone else thinking this is a wash and rinse cycle happening on a global scale? maybe mother nature saying a big F U to humanity. i mean, look at what we’ve done to her… is this payback? and if so, don’t we deserve it on some level? that said, i fear for the elder generations… their weak systems, yes, but more the way they are being treated. why must youth be so revered when it lacks in perspective and too often, wisdom and strength? being home isn’t so bad. it’s quite lovely when you love the one you’re with. i can’t imagine if you don’t. divorce will likely be a result… speaking of results, what will this world look like when we come out of this? that is THE question. to guess, many places will not reopen. unemployment will skyrocket and the government will provide handouts, sending us into TRILLIONS of debt. and that will be the next big F U… it isn’t sustainable. oh the humanity

 

Lessons from time spent with my 90 year old Nonna

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When my mother called to ask if I would join her on a trip to visit my 90 year-old grandmother, without hesitation, I said yes and began to look forward to it.

Growing up on the east coast, I spent quality time with my Nonna but when my immediate family moved to Los Angeles when I was ten, our visits were not as often but were still filled with quality time whenever we saw each other, which was yearly. As she aged, my Nonna could no longer travel to us but I could still travel to her and have managed to get out to NY on average once every two to three years. Distance is an obstacle but I believe time spent with others is not about quantity but rather quality.

As I wait for my plane to board to return home, I’m reflecting on the past four days I’ve spent with my Nonna and how amazing it was to be around this lively ninety year-old Sicilian woman. And I learned a few things I’d like to share…

  • Age is but a number and does not define a person.
  • Being in the moment can be just sitting there, in a person’s presence.
  • See things for yourself before you form an opinion, regardless of what others tell you.
  • Love keeps you young and alive. Bottom line.
  • Family is a window to look into to help understand yourself.
  • Letting others be who they are is perhaps the best thing you can do for someone you love.
  • Making a 90 year-old laugh is one of the greatest joys I’ve experienced.

I wish so bad I could just take her home with me and let her breath the Pacific Ocean mist for her remaining days (though I think she has a looooooonnnng time to go!) but alas, that is likely not to happen as she told me she can’t travel and the rest of my family are there with her…

“In ever conceivable manner, the family is the link to our past, bridge to our future.”
– Alex Haley, author

 

 

Being Alone

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As most who know me know, I love being alone.

I can spend days, if not weeks, without human contact and not even bat an eye. I’m not saying this as some badge of honor or anything. Merely as a fact about me. And one pertinent to what I’m about to tell you…

Recently, my husband was heading to the East Coast to visit his mother for some one-on-one time. I was planning to stay home and enjoy my alone time.

Well… things didn’t go exactly as planned.

It just so happened that my grandfather passed away and his funeral was scheduled during the eight days my husband was also away, so needless to say, my alone time at home was interrupted with a four-day-trip to New York.

I had a day alone before flying to the east coast and then I had three days alone after returning.

I know this sounds ridiculous but I was savoring each one of them.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love and adore my husband and we are seriously perfect for each other BUT we BOTH work from home and though our apartment is nice and large, our kitchen is the size of a bathroom (not kidding!) so when we’re both in there, moving is difficult. For someone like myself who loves (no, needs) alone time, this is all very difficult. I also work nights part-time so my sleep schedule is all over the place.

Anywho…

My grandfather’s funeral was beautiful and we celebrated him with love. I have no regrets and loved him very much.

When I returned home, I was keenly aware of my alone time countdown. I reverted back to the Christina who lived alone for seven years. I pee’d with the door open, I walked around with zit cream on, I worked wherever and whenever I wanted. I slept soundly as there was no one there who could wake me up. I cooked what I liked and didn’t care if the house smelled of shrimp (my husband despises it!) All in all, I had a good time. Not gonna lie.

I was so enthralled with this aloneness though, that I shared a little too much about it with my loving partner, who needless to say did not care too much to hear about how happy I was living it up in Aloneville.

Our reunion wasn’t as heartwarming as it should have been and I take the blame. Rather than express how much I was enjoying being alone, perhaps I should have told my husband how much I missed him.

But the funny part of this whole story, the reason I am writing this long tale, is that I didn’t realize I missed him until after he came home.

I know. Crazy. But that’s how it went.

First, I started to see how nice it was to have him by my side at night. Falling asleep on him is one of my favorite places in the world to be. And sleeping alone, though it was great to sleep diagonally in silence with all the covers, didn’t seem as significant as before. And when something good happened, like when a piece of mine got published, sharing it with him made it so much more meaningful than smiling to no one in the room.

I also realized coming home from work to an empty place isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. Sure, the freedom to do whatever you want is tempting, but much less satisfying that coming home to a smiling partner, who is waiting to eat dinner with you and genuinely tells you they missed you all day.

But what really got me thinking was a few days after my husband returned, I shared with him how much I loved him and that I try to learn about us and grow every day and how I want to show him this more… and you know what, it turned around his entire day, taking it from a shitty one to not so bad.

Love is powerful.

It teaches us daily if we’re open to it. But with it, comes responsibility.

Thank you, Don. For putting up with my demand for alone time but you know what, I might not need it as much as I thought…

 

My Grandpa’s Funeral

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For those who don’t know, I sometimes write in a stream of conscious way. For this post, I’ll be doing so…

Il funerale di mio nonno

after the news, tears came. then came the plans. flights were booked. messages were sent. i just wanted to get there. flying was a nightmare but worth it. sleep would be had whenever possible. met parents at the buffalo airport at 6 am est after leaving LA the day before at 9 am pst. hugs with them, especially my mother. my beautiful mother.

la mia bella nonna. my beautiful grandmother. more tears came before a little sleep. then the wake. four hours of visitors. family seen, some I’ve seen recently and others I hadn’t. it was beautiful. and touching. and emotional. and a testament to my grandfather.

being surrounded by his family was his favorite thing in the world. and that was exactly how we celebrated him.

my aunts and uncles and cousins planned a wonderful memorial to him. it was absolutely lovely. hearing about his last moments made me understand what true love looked like. till the moment my grandfather passed, he thought about his wife. and the fact he was surrounded by family in those last (surprisingly) lucid hours makes me feel good. i know he wouldn’t want it any other way.

he was 97. lived an extraordinary and beautiful life (from fighting for the Italians and stationed in Africa to becoming a prisoner of war in the US during WWII to immigrating his family to America in the 1950s) and he gave me my mother. for that I will be forever thankful.

seven months ago I took my husband to meet him. i’m so grateful I had those moments with him. when he wasn’t giving me advice on having children (he did not like that we chose not too, haha!) he was telling his grandson-in-law stories about Sicily and our family’s early years in America. and he was still making my grandmother blush with stories about stealing kisses when she was in her teens.

the funeral and reception gave family and friends a time to honor him one last time before laying his body to rest.

and that’s when I looked around, saw all of my family’s faces in the same room and was filled with a warmth that I believe was love.

family.

love.

it’s what it’s truly all about, no?

thank you Nonno. I love you. and may you rest in peace and meet your love again wherever you are…

 

Family Is Love

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Hi All!

I made a little one minute short film with my niece and nephews this weekend to submit for a filmmaking grant by Moet Champagne.

If you have a moment, please visit it’s site here to watch and vote if you like it!

Children are everything. Let’s celebrate them.

http://www.moetfilmfest.com/entry/family-is-love

Thank you!!

Computer bag update*

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A few months back, I wrote a blog post about my worn computer bag. It’s something that’s been with me for nearly seventeen years, from my first job in the entertainment industry, and it’s very special to me BUT, and this is a big BUT, it’s worn to the bone.

The leather (faux likely) is peeling off to the point that it leaves a trail behind me wherever I go and every time I’m in public with it, I see pitiful glances thrown its way and mine. The lining is nearly gone and it can no longer withstand any natural elements outside of sunshine but it’s like a member of my family.

It’s been with me through every single film/writing job I’ve had since I graduated college and that was almost two decades ago (not quite, but almost…)

I decided, however, not to treat myself to a new one until I get my first book published, which I’m in the process of… (For those following that situation, I just finished part 2 of 3, and am on page 260 of it now, with likely completing the whole book by the end of summer, with plans to submit to agents by the first of the new year…)

But I’m a tad far away from that publishing goal so a new bag had been no where in sight until…

One day, after seeing my sorry-looking computer bag, my brother mentioned he had a computer bag he was no longer using and offered it to me. He had no idea I was waiting to buy one… And when I saw his was basic black leather, my fav type, I couldn’t believe it.

The universe took care of my bag on its own, along with a little help from my brother.

Not only could I stay within my plan of not buying a new one until I published my book, but I scored a nice bag to use in the meantime allowing me to put my original baby to rest (and boy did she need it!)

Life.

“Expect the best, prepare for the worst and don’t be surprised when you get what you deserve.” – Lionel Goulet

Thank you, brother. Little did you know that bag will get me through the transition to the next phase of my life and I appreciate it.

And thank YOU readers for all your continued support.

 

Stay tuned for more info on my book and new bag :)

#soldbooknewbag

2 Days Till Christmas – Giving Back

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Wait… what?

Yup! It’s TWO DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS!!!

I am sorry to make this quick but I am tired!

Today I decided to give back by preparing for Christmas Eve at my place. My husband, Don, and I are hosting the family holiday for the first time!

I cleaned, prepped and made a lasagna – up to the point of sticking it in the oven to bring the cheese to a boil.

We did the last of the decorating and the final shopping. Gifts are wrapped and under the tree, (here’s hoping my nephews can make it through Sunday Christmas Eve dinner before opening presents!), and the apps are waiting to be prepared.

Phew!!

We am so happy to carry on a tradition my mother and father once did in Buffalo, NY in the 1980s. Christmas Eves at our place were a thing to be remembered.

Here’s hoping we can give back to the nostalgic feeling while also creating new traditions of our own.

Merry Christmas Eve Eve!!!

#givingbackblogseries #givingback

3 Days Till Christmas – Giving Back

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Today was part 2 of 7 Days till Christmas…

Quick summary – I volunteer at an organization and one of my tasks is to deliver a holiday gift bag to an elderly person in need. She wasn’t thrilled to hear from me until she fully realized who I was. And though she didn’t want to schedule a drop off time, I tried to make it work.

From our conversation, I surmised that she was going to be away this week. So, I purposely waited until today (honestly, I was suppose to drop it off by yesterday but I fudged that a bit…) because I was hoping to catch her home.

Sure enough, I did this afternoon and what a lovely moment we shared.

I delivered her present and a big smile spread across her face. She mentioned she was expecting it. I told her I purposely waited because I knew she was traveling. She told me she just returned last night. She felt the bag and with a smile, said “Oh, this is heavy!”

I told her how much we appreciate her and how we wish her a merry Christmas and happy New Year. She told me the same and we parted with smiles on our faces.

Not the ending I knew would happen, but it was certainly the one I hoped would…

3 Days Till Christmas!!!!!

#givingbackblogseries #givingback